How to Express Your Feelings to the One You Love

Co-authored by John Keegan

When you're in a relationship with someone who has truly captured your heart, you might be bursting at the seams with wanting to tell them how you feel. If you have a crush on someone, it may be a little bit more complicated than that. Communicating your feelings for someone can be tricky at first, but there are many other ways of expressing yourself other than blurting out, "I love you." A blimp with giant hearts flying across the sky might be the flashy way to get your message across, but simpler ways of communication exist that might hold a bit more meaning in expressing your heartfelt emotions.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Telling Someone You're In a Relationship With

1
Say "I love you." Telling someone you love them is the most surefire way to communicate your feelings and the strength of those feelings. However, there are other ways to say, "I love you," simply by switching up the language you use. For example, instead of saying the three words, “I love you,” you could say other meaningful things like, “I’m really happy you’re in my life,” “I feel lucky that I have you,” or “I love you for being you.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- These different expressions offer some variety by giving specifics as to why you love your partner, and give a breath of fresh air in expressing those three little words.
2
Tell them how important they are. Sharing your feelings to your partner about the positive impact they have on your life is a clear way of showing the love and value you have for your partner. For instance, if your partner makes spending time with your family easier, let them know that they make that interaction easier for you. If you have a bad day at work, and the moment you see your partner you instantly feel a wave of relief, let them know that just seeing them immediately puts you in a better mood.
- If your loved one makes your life better or easier, communicating their influence on making your life richer, lets them know they are wanted, valued, and loved.
Advertisement
3
Allow yourself to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable means expressing your thoughts and feelings wholeheartedly, without reserve. With that expression, comes the possibility of being criticized, hurt, rejected, etc. by your loved one. The important thing to remember is if you love someone, you opening up and wholeheartedly sharing yourself, expresses to your partner that them knowing the real you is worth the risk of you getting hurt. It is you making a self-sacrifice of security, for a deeper connection with them.
- Since sacrificing anything is not easy, being vulnerable with the one you love shows your commitment to the relationship.
4
Ask for advice from your partner. Wanting advice from your partner communicates that you respect their opinion. It means you look to them for a sort of guidance, and it strengthens their understanding of their role in your life.^{[2]
X
Research source}which is a step in making your relationship stronger.
- It doesn't have to be something serious, although it can be. Just letting your partner know that you are interested in their opinion, and want to know how they would approach something allows them to see the respect you have for them.
5
Vent your feelings to each other. If your partner is obviously nervous, upset, worried, or concerned about something, ask them to vent and share their feelings with you. Let your partner know that you want them to be able to let their guard down and spill what is on their mind. Sometimes, people just need to have a rant about what is bothering them. Let your partner know that you are there to listen to what they have to say.
- It shows your loved one that they can just let loose about how they are feeling, and you are there to be their outlet and listener.
- While they’re expressing their feelings to you, make sure you are completely there and in the moment. This means refraining from looking at your phone or any other kind of distraction and being focused on what your partner is saying. Be attentive to how they’re feeling when telling you what is bothering them, and give thoughtful feedback.
- If you find yourself at a loss for words, a strong and meaningful hug can always show you're there for your loved one.^{[3]
  X
  Research source}
6
Tell each other your secrets. Sharing your secrets is a small way of telling someone you love that they have your trust. People don't share their secrets with just anyone, so trusting someone with your intimate feelings and thoughts is a true sign of a caring, loving relationship.
- Sharing secrets creates an inner circle of just you two, reinforcing a greater bond between you and your partner.
7
Always be honest. Being honest with the one you love could sometimes be difficult, especially if you are trying to not hurt their feelings. However, speaking the truth, even when it hurts, increases your ability to level and find a connection with your partner.^{[4]
X
Research source} It shows that you rather be truthful and real, rather than phony and comforting.
- It's a sign of respect to your partner that you are honest with how you feel while taking into consideration that it might not be the most comfortable option.
- Just remember to be gentle with the truth. The truth may be hard to hear, but it doesn't have to come off mean.
8
Encourage your partner. As your partner’s partner, it's safe to say that it's your responsibility — as well as in the best interest of the relationship — to show your love, encourage, and help your partner achieve their dreams and goals in life. By providing a supportive environment, you stimulate your partner to be the best version of themselves and go after what they want.
- You can encourage your partner by saying things like, "I believe that you can do this," "You're a hard worker, and that hard work is going to get recognized," or "All of your efforts are going to pay off soon."
- Supporting your partner, and pushing for their success shows your love in words of reinforcement.
9
Write a letter. Sometimes writing an old-school love letter is a romantic way to show your feelings. Writing a letter can also help articulate feelings and emotions you've been having, by letting your stream of consciousness do the "talking". Think about what you want to accomplish with this letter. What do you want your loved one to know? Begin with saying why you’re writing them a letter. For example, you can say something like, “I was thinking about you, and how much I enjoy being around you…” or “Being around you is always so much fun, and I wanted to let you know…”
- Mention stories and memories that bring back good feelings. Just remember to write what you love about them, how they make you feel, and why you're happy to be with them.
- Writing a letter by hand is your best bet to show that what you have to say is meaningful, because it takes more effort than typing up a note or text message. Also, your personal handwriting shows through which gives a nice touch of genuineness.
10
Listen. Often, not enough credit is given for being able to focus. Really listen to someone when they speak, and then give an attentive, meaningful reply.^{[5]
X
Research source} When you really listen to someone, you are focused on only that person, giving them your full and undivided attention.
- Although it’s a simple act, listening is a very powerful act of caring that shows you are there to help your partner through whatever they are dealing with.
- Listening to your partner reinforces the idea that you two are a team together, and you are there when your partner needs help.
11
Carry out acts of service. Anything you can do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing down on your loved one will speak volumes as to how much you care for them and love them.
- Doing things like running out to get breakfast before they wake up, filling up the gas in their car, or washing their dishes in the sink, are all small ways to show your loved one you are always thinking about them.
12
Be considerate. Being considerate means thinking about the feelings of your partner in everything that you do. Decisions you make about certain things should be made with your partner in mind.
- For example, if you're going camping, bring extra sleeping mats for your partner, because you know they have a difficult time sleeping on hard surfaces. Or, if you're going on a picnic, pack some extras of your partner's favorite snack as a surprise.
13
Set aside time for quality interaction. Everyone has busy lives that we sometimes get wrapped up in, but making an effort to share quality time with your loved one is an easy way to reconnect and show your loved one where your priorities stand. Use this time to share with each other, go on a walk, or make dinner together.
- It's really not about the amount of time you share together, but the quality of that time. It doesn't have to have a strict schedule, but the fact that you made the effort at all is what really counts.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
14
Embrace your inner child. As adults, life can get monotonous and boring at times. To combat this, keep your inner child alive. Incorporate surprises into your life, be spontaneous and try new things.
- This might not seem like a direct display of love, but by keeping things fun in your relationship, it shows that you are working to always have an enjoyable time with your loved one. Go on an adventure together that will create memories and stories for times to come.
15
Touch your partner affectionately. Everyone is different with the level of "touchy-ness" that they prefer, but small, affectionate touches can communicate your love in a subtler, physical way. Things like holding hands, playful touches on the arm, or putting your head on their shoulder, are small ways to express your feelings of closeness and love.
16
Give hugs. Hugs give people a physical sense of security, and can literally make someone feel like they are wrapped in love. Hugs are easy to execute, and are appropriate to do in public, which makes them ideal for telling your partner you love them out in the world.
- Hugs using both arms and facing your loved one are the most romantic. Other kinds of hugs (one-armed hugs, side hugs), are more casual and don't hold that much meaning.
- A good, meaningful hug usually last a little longer. 5-7 seconds is usually a good amount of time to express your feelings in a hug.
17
Cuddle with your partner. It's no secret that cuddling with your loved one feels good, and just like hugging, this brief break from the stress of your everyday life will communicate your love by taking time to focus solely on your partner, and what you feel for them.
18
Give your partner a massage. Giving your partner a massage could be something as simple as rubbing your partner’s back while you two watch a movie, running your fingers through their hair, or having your partner lay back, and place their head in your lap as your massage their shoulders and neck.
- Don’t be afraid to show your love with touch. Touching is just another way people can sense love.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Expressing Your Feelings To a Crush

1
Building up confidence. Just be yourself when you want to interact with your crush. You don't want to build your relationship off of lies and pretending to be someone you're not, so let your personality shine through. Sometimes, when you stuck about things to talk about, ask your crush about themselves or give them a compliment. You can say something like, "What sports do you like to play?" or "You did really good on your presentation today."
- The easiest subjects to talk about with your crush are things you have in common, like classes, places you've traveled, or favorite restaurants. Talking about things you have in common will lighten the mood and help you relax.
2
Let your body language speak for itself. Touching anybody is a sign of closeness. So, a subtle way to express to your crush that you like them is to break the touch barrier. Light touches are the best way to go to get your message across without coming off too strong.
- For example, if you’re talking with your crush or passing by them, you can give them a light touch on the upper arm. If you’re sitting next to your crush, you can casually let your feet or knees touch every once and smile to show your feelings.
- Just a little bit of physical attention will let your crush know that you like them. Touching your crush lightly just once or twice during a conversation is sufficient enough to let your crush know how you're feeling.
3
Write a letter. It can sometimes be hard to verbalize your feelings to someone you like, so writing a love letter is an easy way to express how you feel without having to do it in person. Just like in the previous method, begin your letter by stating your inspiration for writing the letter.
- For instance, you can begin with, "I've really enjoyed getting to know you better over these past couple of months..." or "I just wanted to let you know that over this past year, you have become one of my best friends...”
- In our day and age of technology, typing out a text message or Facebook message is easy. Writing a letter by hand is more sincere and requires a bit more effort. Because of the added effort, your gesture is that much more appealing to your crush.
4
Keep it light. Your letter can start off casual, and you can write about a few inside jokes that the two of you have together or fun times that you've experienced together. From there, you can dive right in, and explain the reason for the letter, telling your crush you have feelings for them. You can say something like, "I just wanted to tell you that I like you, and I really like hanging out with you."
- Keep it short and sweet. You don't want to go too much into how much you like your crush or why, before you have your answer as to how they feel about you.
EXPERT TIP

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Our Expert Agrees: Don't come on too heavy when you let your crush know how you feel. You should keep things light and soft to prevent them from recoiling or feeling uncomfortable. Too much emotion can make be too much for some people.
5
Tell your crush your feelings in person. Pick a place that's stress-free where it would be appropriate to talk alone, make eye contact, and simply tell your crush how you feel. You can make some small talk, but after a while jump right in and tell them how you feel. You can give a compliment or two while you're telling your crush how you feel. For example, "I really like you. Nobody makes me laugh like you do."
- After you tell your crush how you feel, give them time to react and process what you've said. Don't immediately ask them how they feel or what they think.
- You don't want to come off too intense. Give your crush some time to react and respond, and try not to put pressure on them.
6
Respond appropriately. Once you say how you feel, your crush will either say that they share your feelings, or want to just stay friends. If your crush shares your feelings don't be afraid of your excitement. It's okay to be silly and giddy after you and your crush tell each other how you feel. If your crush just wants to be friends, be mature and say something like, "Okay, I just wanted to let you know." It will hurt, but you always want to leave a good impression. Although you will be upset, try to act like it wasn't a big deal, and wait until you have some privacy to be sad about it.
- Once you know your crush likes you back, you can ask your crush on a casual date by offering to go see a movie together, or catch a baseball game. This will offer up some time for the both of you to get to know each other better.
- If your crush doesn't share your feelings, at least you had the confidence to take a chance. There are plenty of other opportunities to find someone right for you.