How to Do Sexual Meditation

Sexual meditation is a way to heighten awareness of the body to increase pleasure during sex. Regular sexual meditation, may help to make sex more enjoyable for you and your partner and it is also a way to deepen your connection. You can learn how to do sexual meditation even if you have never meditated before.

Part 1
Part 1 of 2:

Doing a Basic Sexual Meditation

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    Select a quiet place, free from distractions. Dim the lights in your bedroom or living room and remove any electronic devices, such as phones, televisions, and laptops. Keep the room at a comfortable temperature. If it's too cold or too hot, this might be distracting.
    • You may also want to set up a couple of cushions on the floor to sit on as you meditate. Set the cushions so they are near each other, but so that there will be a bit of space between you and your partner.
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    Get comfortable. Get into a position that is comfortable for you and your partner. You can either lie down or sit up with your legs in the lotus position. You and your partner can meditate while wearing something loose and comfortable or while not wearing anything at all if you prefer.
    • Keep your spine straight, whether you are sitting or lying down, with your arms by your sides. Rest your arms loosely in your lap if you meditate in a seated position.[1]
    • Keep your chin up and your head aligned with your spine if you are seated.[2]
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    Close your eyes. When you are ready, you and your partner can close your eyes and start the meditation. Then, try to remain aware of your surroundings at first. Pay attention to your body, your breath, and any sounds that you hear.[3]
    • Try to ignore intrusive thoughts and simply focus on the present moment. If a thought pops into your head, acknowledge the thought and then let it pass. For example, if you think of something that happened at work, then you might think to yourself, “yes, that happened,” and then picture the thought drifting away.
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    Focus on your space and breathing. As you meditate, focus on your space and breathing. Take deep, soothing breaths and pay attention to air entering and leaving your body. As you breathe in, pull the air down into your abdomen and imagine stress leaving your body as you exhale.
    • Try to be aware of yourself and how you feel. Take stock of how the air feels around your body, how all your different body parts feel from your hands to your feet.[4]
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    Visualize your body. As the meditation starts, visualize your own body. Think about how your body looks inside and out as well as how your body's energy looks. Think about the shapes, colors, and sounds of your current feelings. For example, you might imagine the desire that you are feeling for your partner looks like a red orb.[5]
    • Focus on your physical sensations. Try to be as aware of your own body and the sensations you're feeling as possible. The goal of sexual meditation is heightened awareness, which can lead to increased sexual arousal.[6]
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    Focus on your partner. Once you're done visualizing yourself, shift focus to your partner. Try to think about your partner’s body and emotions at this moment.
    • Look at your partner. You can open your eyes and look into your partner’s eyes. Make sure that you notice your partner's breathing as well. Glance at the movements of your partner’s body.[7] For example, you might watch your partner’s stomach and chest as they fill with air and then deflate again.
    • Communicate with your partner without speaking. Try to use your face, hands, and eyes to show your partner what you are feeling. Watch your partner's expressions as well. Try to see what he or she is feeling as well.[8]
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    Move onto sexual intercourse. After about 20 minutes of sexual meditation, transition into sexual intercourse. If intercourse is more enjoyable after sexual meditation, talk to your partner about doing regular sexual meditations.
Part 2
Part 2 of 2:

Enhancing Your Experience

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    Play some nature sounds or relaxing music. It can be difficult to concentrate with outside noises, so playing some nature sounds or some music meant to enhance meditation may help you and your partner to relax. Try playing some rain sounds, ocean wave sounds, or some new age music.
    • Make sure that you choose something that will last long enough to play while you are meditating and having sex.
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    Try taoist sexual meditation. Once you've tried basic sexual meditation, try to move on to more complex forms. Taoist sexual meditation is a form of meditation that focuses on you and your partner merging desires.
    • Matching breaths. You can start Taoist meditation by holding your partner and trying to merge your breathing. That is, match the pace of your inhaling and exhaling so that you and your partner are inhaling and exhaling at the same time. Keep going until you breathe as one.
    • Hand pulsing. Pulsing is another form of Taoist sexual meditation. Gently open and close your partner's hand or squeeze your partner’s hand using a smooth, gentle rhythm. Your partner can also squeeze your hand.
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    Include some tantric practices. Tantric sex is a way of using sex to meditate, so incorporating some tantric practices may be enjoyable for you and your partner. Some easy tantric sex practices that you can try are:
    • Eye gazing. Try to maintain eye contact with your partner while you have sex and as you climax as well.
    • Alternating breaths. Try to alternate breaths with your partner. For example, you can breathe in as your partner breathes out and vice versa.[9]

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    How can I use my eyes to increase sexual attraction?
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post.
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
    Licensed Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    You can lock your gaze with your partner for a few seconds and then look back. Or wink and make expressions with your eyebrows to flirt.

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References

  1. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  2. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  3. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  4. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  5. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  6. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  7. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  8. ↑ http://www.thenewyoga.org/pair_med.htm
  9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/heart-and-soul-healing/201210/tantric-and-taoist-practices-improve-sex

About This Article

Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Co-authored by:
Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT
Licensed Relationship Therapist
This article was co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT. Alysha Jeney is a Licensed Relationship Therapist, the Owner of Modern Love Counseling, and the Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box. She specializes in relationship therapy, intimacy building, and existential exploration. Alysha holds a BA in Psychology from The Metropolitan State University of Denver and an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Regis University. She has been featured in publications such as The Washington Post and The Huffington Post. This article has been viewed 536,797 times.
368 votes - 76%
Co-authors: 24
Updated: December 9, 2022
Views: 536,797
Categories: Meditation
Article SummaryX

Sexual meditation is all about increasing your awareness of your body, which can help strengthen pleasure during sex. To begin, dim the lights in your bedroom or living room and set 2 cushions on the floor for you and your partner. Make sure to remove any distractions, such as phones or other electronic devices, so you can just concentrate on each other. When you start meditating, think about your body and the sensations you’re feeling, since the goal of sexual meditation is to heighten your awareness of what you feel. Then, move on to look at your partner’s body and emotions. For example, watch their chest and stomach as it rises and falls when they breathe, or look into their eyes. After you’ve meditated for about 20 minutes, move onto sexual intercourse, which may feel more intense due to your meditation. For tips on how to choose background sounds or music for your meditation, keep reading!

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