How to Develop a Positive Attitude Toward Life

Co-authored by Jennifer Clark

Last Updated: November 3, 2022 References Approved

A positive attitude can go a long way to make you happier overall. To develop a positive attitude, you need to learn to control it. You may also want to spend some time learning to value yourself and your time, as that can contribute to a more positive outlook on life. Another way to increase your positive attitude is to find ways to deal with stress, as stress encourages you to think more negatively.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Learning to Control Your Attitude

1
Understand how your attitude affects your life. Your attitude towards life determines how happy or unhappy your are. You can't always change what happens to you, but you can change how you react to what happens to you.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} You make a choice each time you are faced with a situation.
- For instance, say you get a flat tire. Nobody likes dealing with a flat, but you have options for how you react to the situation. You can get mad and throw a fit, elevating your blood pressure, and then go get your tire changed. If you get mad, you'll spend some time very unhappy.
- On the other hand, you can chock it up to a normal part of life, take a deep breath, and go get your tire fixed. By not reacting, you won't spend that time angry. In fact, you can turn it into something positive. Maybe while you're fixing your tire, you can catch up on a good book you haven't had a chance to read in awhile. ^{[2]
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  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
2
Frame events in a positive way. The way you talk about events can affect your attitude. For instance, if you talk or think about an event in a negative way, you'll continue to think about it in a negative light. However, if you talk about it positively, you'll begin to change your attitude about it.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- For example, say you get an upsetting email early in the morning. You could think, "Well, that means this day is going to be awful." On the other hand, you could think, "Well, that was bad, but my day can only go up from here." The event remains the same, but how you think about it moving forward can affect your attitude.
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3
Change your language. Words such as "I can't do that" encourage you to think that way. If you say something is impossible, you'll likely believe it. Instead, use positive language, such as, "I can do this if I take it step by step."^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
4
Be proactive instead of reactive. In every situation, you have another choice: you can complain, or you can do something about your problem. Complaining makes you unhappy, but taking action will almost always make you feel better about the situation. It makes you feel productive and like you are actually getting something done because you are.
5
Enjoy the small things. Like most people, you may focus on your big goals all the time, always looking forward to the next vacation or next holiday. While looking forward isn't inherently bad, it can sometimes cause you to overlook the joy in your everyday life. A piece of cake or a walk with a friend is a simple, everyday pleasure that you may not value if you're only thinking about what's ahead. Instead, try to be in the moment, and take joy in what you're doing.^{[5]
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- For instance, if you find your mind racing to your next vacation while having a chat with your friend, pull yourself back to the moment. Truly listen to what your friend is saying instead of letting your mind wander.
6
Practice gratitude. Gratitude is essential for a good attitude because it helps you appreciate the good things you have in your life. Instead of focusing on what's going wrong, practicing gratitude teaches you to focus on the good things.^{[6]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Take time each time to think about what you are thankful for. Maybe you can come up with three things each day that you appreciate, and write them in a journal.^{[7]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
7
Stop reaching for the next big thing. If you're always on the lookout for the next TV, the next smartphone, the next nice car, you won't appreciate what you have. You are placing your happiness in what you don't have instead of what you do have, which means you'll feel like you’re always searching for something that will make you happy.^{[8]
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- In other words, instead of thinking, "I have to have that awesome new phone," try instead to think, "You know, this phone I have is really amazing. A phone 10 years ago wouldn't have done nearly this much."
8
Combine fantasizing about goals with realism. Popular belief states that if you can imagine yourself achieving a goal, it helps you get there. However, studies have shown that if you only imagine the end goal and happiness, it may actually slow down your progress.^{[9]
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- Instead, take a few minutes to imagine the end goal. However, you should also spend some time thinking about the obstacles in your way, as it balances out the fantasy.^{[10]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Valuing Yourself

1
Talk nicely to yourself. Like everyone else, you have an inner critic that wants to tell you when you've done something wrong. However, that critic can start making you devalue yourself. If you can turn your inner critic into a positive voice, you'll begin to value yourself more.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- One way to see how often you talk badly about yourself is to take a simple tally over the course of a day. Every time a negative thought enters your head, make a note on a piece of paper or your phone. That process will increase your awareness of how often you are criticizing yourself.^{[12]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
- Once you've established how often you are talking badly, start trying to change those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. For instance, if you are thinking, "I hate my hips," try instead to think a positive thought about that body part, such as "I may not like the way my hips look, but they are strong hips that helped me produce a baby."^{[13]
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  Trustworthy Source
  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
2
Surround yourself with positive people. The people you socialize with affect your mental attitude. You deserve to be around people who try to be happy, as that will encourage you to be happier. Pick positive people for your life, and try to cut out people who encourage your negative side.^{[14]
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- In the same vein, skip media and news stories that bring you down. They can impact you just as much as the people you surround yourself with.
3
Find inspiration. Find books, podcasts, or radio programs that inspire you to be your true self. Every day, take time to listen or read from one of these motivational programs. That way, every day you'll get a jolt of positivity, and you'll be inspired to go out there with a positive attitude.^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
4
Value your own opinion of yourself. Other people will try to make your feel bad about yourself. Maybe they'll judge you on your appearance or how you drive a car. The truth is, the only opinion that matters is your own. Most of the time, what people are saying about you is not really about you, anyway; it's about them trying to make themselves feel better by putting you down.^{[16]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- As an example, if someone makes a comment about the sweater you're wearing, don't let it get to you. Instead, remember why you loved the sweater in the first place, and respond in kind: "Well, I'm sorry you don't like it, but I really love this orange. It makes me happy to wear it."
5
Help other people. By helping other people, you are making a positive difference, which makes you feel better about yourself, and encourages you to develop a positive attitude. In addition, it can help develop your sense of gratitude at what you do have in your life. ^{[17]
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- If you're not sure where to volunteer, try asking at your local food bank, a homeless shelter, a nearby school, or a library. All of them are sure to have an opportunity for you to volunteer.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Relieving Your Stress

1
Focus on your breathing. When you feel your stress level rising, one way to calm yourself is to take some time to focus on breathing. By simply closing your eyes and letting your breathing fill up your mind, you will slowly start to calm down. Try to breathe slowly and deeply, letting each breath push out other thoughts.^{[18]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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2
Sleep on a schedule. How much sleep you get can seriously affect your stress level and your attitude. If you aren't getting enough, your stress level can rise more easily, and you are more likely to develop a negative attitude. Sticking to a schedule every night will help you get enough sleep so that you waked up refreshed and happier.^{[19]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- One way to make sure you stick to a schedule is to set an alarm for bedtime just like you set an alarm for waking up. Set it 30 minutes to an hour before you want to go to bed to remind you it's time to wind down.
3
Stretch out your tension. If you find yourself really tense at work, take a moment to stretch to help relieve it. A simple stretch can help take your mind off work, plus it can loosen muscles tightened by stress.^{[20]
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- One simple stretch you can employ is moving from cow pose to cat pose. In a chair, lean forward with your hands on your knees. Arch your back outward. Move to cat pose by arching your back inwards.^{[21]
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- Move on to stretching your arms straight above your head, leaning to each side as you stretch.^{[22]
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- You can also employ a twisting move. While sitting, keep your arms bent and twist around one way and then the other.^{[23]
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4
Try writing in a journal. Taking the time to write every day in a journal can be a to release emotions. If you let your emotions build up over time, that can lead to a more stressful life.^{[24]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- What's important is to let your emotion flow out on paper. Don't try to make it grammatically correct or perfect or worry about what you should be writing about.^{[25]
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  Mayo Clinic
  Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
  Go to source}
5
Try a hug. Hugs tell your body to release oxytocin. This hormone can relax you, as well as push you to be more social, which can also be good for your stress level.^{[26]
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- Try to get at least eight hugs a day. Don't just limit yourself to your friends and family--pets count, too.^{[27]
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Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be strong and positive?

Jennifer Clark
Life Coach
Jennifer Clark is an Evolution Coach and the Founder of Soulful Solutions, her life consulting business which helps both individuals and organizations evolve and grow into their full potential based in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. She has over 20 years of experience assisting over 8000 individuals with life consulting, workshop facilitation, and public speaking training. She received a Risk Management Certification from the Sprott School of Business in 2000, an Integrated Energy Therapy Master and Instruction Certificate in 2004, and an Assertiveness Coach Certificate in 2015. She earned a BA with Honors in Political Science from Queen's University in 1992.

Jennifer Clark

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Try to always show compassion to others, even if they don't always do the same for you. Not everyone has the support system, emotional intelligence, or appreciation that they need