How to Deal with Rejection from a Guy at Work

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: October 22, 2021 References

Confessing your feelings to someone is never easy, especially when you two work together. However, if things didn’t go quite the way you wanted them to, it might feel a little awkward to keep working alongside the guy who rejected you. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can deal with his rejection and keep it professional without losing your cool.

1

Don't take it personally.

Rejection is not an attack on your character. Although it might seem like it, someone rejecting you doesn’t mean they don’t like you as a person. It just means that you two weren’t a good fit, and that’s okay! There will be plenty of other romantic interests in your future.^{[1]
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- It’s totally possible to be friends (or at least friendly) with someone you’ve been rejected by. It just might take some time.

2

Stay professional.

Remember that you’re in a workplace setting. When you talk to the guy who rejected you, be careful not to accidentally come across as rude or dismissive. Communicate with him how you normally would, and try not to let your feelings get in the way. It’s normal to feel a little sad or angry, but try to keep that out of the workplace.^{[2]
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- If you’re still feeling a little hurt, there’s no need to be overly nice to him, either. Keep your conversations strictly work-related.

3

Do your best to act like nothing happened.

Try to go to work and do your job like you normally would. Don’t let your rejection be a big deal, and try to behave as normal as possible. Although getting rejected can sting, it’s a normal part of life, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed about it!^{[3]
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- Getting rejected just shows that you had the guts to put yourself out there. If anything, it’s a mark of good character and self-esteem on your part.

4

Don’t respond to any flirting.

If he’s flirtatious by nature, he might try to sweet talk you again. If he tries it, don’t engage. Keep your relationship strictly professional, and don’t reciprocate any suggestive sentences or provocative looks. All he’s doing is sending mixed signals, which isn’t fair to you.^{[4]
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- Some people flirt without even realizing it. If that’s the case, he probably does it to everyone.

5

Work through your emotions in private.

It’s okay to feel hurt, angry, or sad. However, don’t tell any of your other coworkers about your rejection, even if you’re close friends. You don’t want to make the guy (or yourself) look bad, and workplace gossip tends to spin out of control fast.^{[5]
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- Consider working through your feelings by writing them in a journal or talking to a close friend you don’t work with.
- Read books to understand why things went wrong.^{[6]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Lisa Shield
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}

6

Don’t try to make him see what he’s missing.

Move on without taking him into account. When people get rejected, they sometimes try to make the other person jealous or angry—however, that’s the wrong move here, especially since you two work together. Focus on living your own life, and don’t take the guy who rejected you into consideration at all.^{[7]
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- For instance, if you do move on and find someone else to date, don’t flaunt it in front of your coworker. It’s fine to be happy, but don’t intentionally make the guy who rejected you jealous.

7

Practice self care.

Getting rejected can sting a little bit. When you aren’t at work, try to do something nice for yourself, like taking a bubble bath or listening to good music. Keep your mind off things by heading out into nature or doing some yoga to get your body moving.^{[8]
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- You could also hang out with your friends and family members as a nice distraction.^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Lisa Shield
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}

8

Use it as a lesson.

What did you learn from this experience? Maybe you won’t try to date coworkers again, or maybe you realized you want to focus on being single for a little while. Whatever it is, use it as a life lesson as you head on to bigger and better things.^{[10]
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- Try to give yourself credit for trying! Putting yourself out there isn’t easy, and you should pat yourself on the back for taking a chance like that.

9

Get back out there.

When you’re ready, set your sights on someone new. Join a few dating apps or head out to a local bar to meet someone single around your age. The best way to move on from rejection is to find someone else, so keep looking!^{[11]
X
Research source} You can take advice from a dating coach to be successful next time.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}
- The worst thing you could do after getting rejected is let it stop you from trying again.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you overcome the pain of rejection?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to have a sound support system of family and friends who can help you overcome your feelings of rejection. You can read books to understand your mistakes and learn how to avoid them in the future.
Question

Can a coach help me to avoid rejection?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you had a bad relationship in the past, the coach helps you understand your mistakes. They can give you correct guidance.