How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Have a Sleepover with Guys

Co-authored by Sarah McDonald

Last Updated: January 8, 2023

If you want to host a sleepover with guys and girls, then your parents might have some doubts. To increase the chances that they will let you have a coed sleepover, you will need to talk to your parents in a cool, calm way and provide lots of details. You can also do some extra things to increase the chances that your parents will say yes.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Talking With Your Parents

1
Set aside a time to discuss plans. The best way to convince your parents of anything is to talk with them in a direct way. Tell them you want to talk about having a coed sleepover and ask when would be a good time to talk. Respecting their time will show them your maturity and ability to handle a sleepover with boys and girls.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Make sure that you choose a good time when your parents are not tired or stressed. For example, if your parents are tired when they get home from work, then that might not be that best time to ask.
- Try asking during dinner or on the weekend when your parents are in a good mood.
2
Ask in a direct way. Don’t dance around the question, mumble, or lie. Just ask your parents about having a coed sleepover in a direct, clear way. The will be more likely to say yes if you ask them in a direct way.
- Try saying something like, “I was thinking about having a sleepover, and a couple of my best friends are guys. How would you feel if I had a coed sleepover?”
- Also, make sure that your parents know that you are not romantically interested in any of the guys coming over. Try saying something like, “All the guys I am inviting are just my friends. I am not interested in dating any of them.”
Advertisement
3
Explain that you know the potential problems of a coed sleepover. Reassure your parents that you’re aware that they might be worried about the potential for sex, alcohol, or other delinquent activities. Tell them that you will not be taking part in these activities.
- Try saying something like, “I know that you might be thinking I just want to have a sleepover to fool around with guys, but I just want to have fun with all of my friends, and some of my friends are guys.”
4
Assure your parents that they can check on you and your friends. Make sure that your parents know that you expect them to be around during the sleepover to chaperone you and your friends. This will show them that you do not intend to do anything that they would not want you to be doing.
- Try saying something like, “Even though we won’t be doing anything wrong, you can check on us any time you want. You won’t have anything to worry about.”

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Increasing Chances of a “Yes” Answer

1
Speak calmly and avoid whining. Whining may cause your parents to treat you like a kid, so it is important to avoid whining. Act like a mature, young adult by asking your parents about having a coed sleepover in a calm voice.
- If it looks like your parents might say no, don’t lose your cool. Continue to speak respectfully and let them finish speaking before you jump in and defend why you want to have a coed sleepover.^{[2]
  X
  Research source}
2
Be prepared with all of the details. If you want to host a coed sleepover, make sure that you have all the details they might want. Asking your parents to have a coed sleepover before working through the details may make them think that you’re not mature enough to have a coed sleepover.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Have a time and date available when you ask your parents to have a coed sleepover.
- Make a list of all of the people who you want to invite to the sleepover.
- Figure out where everyone will sleep. Your best bet is to tell your parents that the girls will sleep in one room and the boys will sleep in a different room.
3
Give them time to think and talk with other parents. Don’t pressure your parents into making a decision right away. They may want to weigh the options of having boys and girls sleep over, so give them space and time to think. Don’t bug them or they might become irritated and just say no.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Offer to let them talk to any other parents in the meantime to find out procedural issues
4
Show how responsible you are. Do all of your chores and make sure all of your homework is complete so your parents don’t even need to ask. Working in advance to show your maturity is a good idea so your parents don’t have to ask you to do anything.
- Do all of your homework in advance so that you don't fall behind on schoolwork.
- Offer to help out your parents with things like cleaning, cooking, and running errands.
5
Offer to have the guys go home before you go to bed. If your parents still seem reluctant, then you might consider asking if you can have your girlfriends sleep over and just have the guys come and hang out. Your guy friends could stay until a certain time, such as 10pm, and then head home.
- Keep in mind that this will mean that your guy friends will have to arrange to get rides home. Tell all of your guy friends in advance so they can make arrangements for rides.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Planning for a Coed Sleepover

1
Ask your parents to help you make a list of rules. Before you invite people over, make sure you identify some clear rules for your guests that your parents will agree on. You and your parents can sit down and make a list of rules beforehand and post the list somewhere visible to your guests. Some things your parents might want you to put on the list might include:
- No sharing blankets or sleeping bags.
- No kissing.
- No sitting on laps.
- Girls stay out of the boys bedroom and boys stay out of the girls bedroom.
- No leaving the house.
2
Pick a night that’s not a school night. It will be easier to convince your parents to let you have a sleepover if it’s on a weekend. That way, the sleepover will not interfere with your sleep and make you and your friends tired at school the next day.
- Having the sleepover will probably also be easier on your parents too, as long as they have the weekend off of work.
- Arrange to have the sleepover on a Friday or Saturday night.
3
Plan appropriate activities. Late night games like flashlight tag or scavenger hunts are great ways to get everyone involved in the party. As a host or even a guest, you never want anyone to feel left out or bored.
- It is essential to plan.
- Be clear about the things you are going to do.
- Accordingly, decide what to wear.
- Movies are a safe and easy option for sleepovers. Pick movies that your parents will be okay with you and your friends watching. For example, you might want to stick to PG or PG-13 comedies and adventure movies.
- Depending on your age, games like Spin the Bottle or Seven Minutes in Heaven could be perfect to break the ice or make things really awkward.^{[5]
  X
  Research source} Keep in mind that your parents probably will not approve of these games, so you may want to avoid these.
- Video and board games are always a fun option that everyone can get involved in. Put out a stack of board games or set up a game console in your family room.

Community Q&A

Question

What if the sleepover is at your house but your birthday is passed but your mom still wants to throw you a late birthday and you're 11 and you want to invite boys?

Community Answer

If your mom is willing to throw you a belated sleepover, she may be wanting to make you happy. When you're making the guest list, show her that you would like to invite some boys that you know. Offer to let her meet them too so she knows who they are before they spend the night.
Question

What if you are grounded

Community Answer

It's best not to ask your parents to do anything extra while you're grounded. Keep yourself off of the radar with good behavior. Do all of your chores, homework, and any extra work to show your parents that you don't need to be grounded anymore. Then you can ask them about sleepovers.
Question

if your parents say no what do you do?

Community Answer

If your parents say no, just be patient. They might think that a coed sleepover is a bad idea for now, but they may change their minds later on. It's best to respect their decisions and not throw a fit so you don't jeopardize the next time you want to ask.