Communication is one of the most important aspects of any relationship. If your spouse isn’t open to communication, it can be tough to talk about serious issues or problems within the relationship. Fortunately, there are a few techniques you can use to have a respectful, productive conversation with your partner.

This article is based on an interview with our dating and relationship coach, Maya Diamond, MA. Check out the full interview here.

1

Pick the right time to talk.

  1. If your spouse feels rushed, they might not be super receptive. Instead, wait to have a serious conversation until you’re both relaxed and generally in a good mood. Even if you’ve planned to talk in advance, you can approach them by saying, “Is now still a good time to talk?” If it isn’t, put off your chat for another time.[1] [2]
    • Ideally, you will both have had a chance to relax and unwind a little bit. For instance, if you’re having a talk after work, give yourself an hour or two to decompress before jumping into a serious conversation.
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10

Take a break if things get heated.

  1. Sometimes a conversation just isn’t going anywhere. If you and your spouse are starting to get angry, tell them that you need a break and walk away. You can take 5 minutes to cool off and reset, or you can take a few hours if you need to.[14]
    • It’s important to set a timeframe on when you’re going to come back and tackle the conversation again. Simply walking away isn’t going to solve the issue, and it could leave your spouse feeling confused.
    • Say something like, “I’m starting to get angry. Why don’t we take a 15 minute break and then try this again?”

About This Article

Maya Diamond, MA
Co-authored by:
Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009. This article has been viewed 15,395 times.
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Co-authors: 5
Updated: May 28, 2022
Views: 15,395
Categories: Married Life
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