How to Cheer Up Your Boyfriend over the Phone

Written by John Keegan | Edited by Madeleine Flamiano

Last Updated: May 21, 2022 References

If your boyfriend is having a hard time, you want to cheer him up right away. Since challenges can come up when you least expect them, it’s great to know exactly what will put a smile on your S.O.’s face. In this article, we’ll cover a bunch of ways to comfort him even when you’re apart. Check out these tips for how to cheer your boyfriend up over the phone—try your favorites and he’ll know you always have his back.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.}

1

Tell him you’re always around to listen.

Reassure him that he can reach out whenever he needs to. Even if you’re busy during parts of the day, let him know that it’s totally fine to send a text. Also bring up that you’ll set aside time so you can give him your full attention.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} You’ll make sure he feels adored 24/7 and has a shoulder to lean on.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source} Say something like:
- “Reach out whenever you need, babe. ❤️ I’m always here for you.”
- “After 6 PM, I’m free all evening. 😚 I’ll pick up as soon as you call.”
- “Remember, you’re not alone. 💕 I’m just a text away.”

2

Invite him to talk about his feelings.

Hold off on trying to fix things to respect his independence. He may want to come up with his own solutions.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Ask him to share his point of view so you can understand what’s bothering him. Then, check in about the best way for him to open up—he may prefer a phone call, or he might like longer texts to capture his thoughts.^{[4]
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Research source} Support him by saying:
- “You seem down. 😔 Can you tell me what’s going on?”
- “If you’re comfortable with it, I’d love to unpack what you're feeling.”
- “What’s better? Texts or a phone call? I want to know what’s on your mind.”

3

Thank him for being honest with you.

Celebrate his transparency so your talks can be his safe space. No matter what mood he’s in—whether it’s frustrated, sad, or anything else—let him know that all his experiences are valid.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Even if his word choice is different from what you’re used to or he sees a situation in another way than you do, embrace his perspective.^{[6]
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Research source} For example:
- “That all makes total sense. 🫂 Thank you for sharing that with me.”
- “I really relate to what you said. You explained everything perfectly. 💖”
- “I value your honesty. From what I understand, you feel… Does that seem right?”

4

Send words of encouragement.

Boosting his confidence can help if he's stressed or worried. If he’s feeling unsure or worried, make sure you acknowledge his feelings first. He’ll know that you’re paying attention to his concerns. Then, give him a supportive pep talk. It’ll fill him with hope and calm him down.^{[7]
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- “I know you’re stressed, but you’ve got this! 💪 😚”
- “I know you're nervous about the test, but you studied hard. I think you'll ace it! 💯 ❤️"
- “It’s totally normal to second-guess yourself. Still, you’re an incredible public speaker! 🎤 🤩”

5

Check if he needs some space.

Sometimes, the best way to support your boyfriend is to let go a little. In order to work through something, he might need to look within himself.^{[8]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} He also may need to shake things up and throw himself into any hobbies, distractions, or social events that lift his mood.^{[9]
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- “Hey, just wondering if you’d like some space? If so, I totally respect that.”
- “Do you want a little time to yourself? Maybe you can play that new game 🎮?”
- “Would it help to hang out with your friends? Isn’t it fantasy football season? 🏈”

6

Send an encouraging voice memo.

Hearing your voice will help him feel like you’re right there. When he opens a text from you, your message will be music to his ears. He’ll probably feel a lot less isolated because of that special personal touch. Your boyfriend can even replay it when he feels down.^{[10]
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- “Hey you! Just letting you know I’m always head over heels for you! Mwah!”
- “Hope your day treats you well, sweetheart! You deserve it.”
- “Babe, my life changed when I met you. I feel so lucky.”

7

Say you’re making his fave comfort food.

It’ll help get his mind off stress and on dishes that make him nostalgic. Work up his appetite and send a text that describes anything he’s raved about or that reminds him of his childhood.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Earn extra brownie points by snapping a pic—it’ll brighten his day and make his mouth water!^{[12]
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Research source}
- “Got all the fixings for three layer lasagna! Here’s a pic so you know what’s in store for you tonight. 😉 🖼️”
- “A vid of me whipping up baked mac&cheese! See how it's bubbling? You can bet it’s gonna amaze! 🧀 🎥”
- “Made a whole bunch of oatmeal muffins! 🧁🧁 Didn’t even know they existed until you told me about them!”

8

Spoil him with affection.

When you send him doting texts, he’ll feel cherished. Remind him of the sweet bond a couple shares and use words that focus on physical touch.^{[13]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} He'll imagine being held and adored. Keep in mind what he usually responds to—your S.O. might like it chill, cute, or romantic!^{[14]
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- “Hey, cute stuff. Just a little kiss to show I care. 😘”
- “Drive-by snuggle! 🚗 😻 Couldn’t resist!”
- “You are the love of my life! 🌹❤️ I want to hold you right now!”

9

Shower him with compliments.

Sending a little praise can help remind him of his strengths. Express just how much he amazes you. Focus on how everyone else benefits from his presence, too. When you shift the convo to words of appreciation, you’ll even release “oxytocin,” or the “love hormone.” It’ll make you two feel super close, even when you’re long-distance.^{[15]
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Research source} Boost his ego with something like:
- “You are a great listener. 👂🏾 I adore how you make everyone feel recognized.”
- “You’re so brilliant! 🤯 I feel like I level up you speak.”
- “You impress me every day. Your creativity is breathtaking. 🎨”

10

Flirt with him.

Tease a little so he can play along and have fun. Feel free to spice it up a bit. All your efforts to woo him will probably make him smile, and he might actually feel swept away by the chase.^{[16]
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Research source} Say something dreamy and passionate like:
- “I can’t get my mind off of you. 💭 🤤”
- “I have the hugest crush on you. 🥵”
- “I’m lucky to be yours. So lucky. 😈”

11

Send a cute selfie.

When he sees it, he’ll be excited that he has you in his life. Send a snap of his fave person—you! Entertain him with happy, flirty, or funny expressions and poses.^{[17]
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Research source} You could say:
- Give him a big smile and text something like, “Me when you call me! 💖”
- Make a goofy face and joke, “Do you still love me when I do this? 😜”
- Show off a nice new outfit and say, “Picked this up just for you! 😏”
- Studies show that if he sees your face, he’ll feel the same way you do—for example, if you smile, he’ll be happier already. His brain will receive info about an emotion and try to copy it.^{[18]
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12

Try a video call.

Seeing your face is always a bonus! If you can’t be there in person, video is the next best thing. Make sure to block out time when you won’t have any distractions, then find a nice setting that will create the right mood.^{[19]
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Research source} For example:
- In the morning, make some coffee or tea, then talk about how you’ll both make sure your days turn out great.
- After you’re done with work or school, chat while you both make dinner and walk each other through what you were up to.
- Before you go to bed, light some candles and put on some cute pajamas. Have a lazy, romantic convo and wish each other goodnight.

13

Ask him if you can help with anything.

Running some errands can lighten his load. He may have so much on his plate that just one favor will make a huge difference. Check what’s on his “to-do” list and see how you can chip in. It also helps to figure out what your boyfriend keeps putting off.^{[20]
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- “Why don’t I come over? I have a great system in mind for your closets! 👔 👞”
- “I’ll pick up your car and make sure it gets an oil change. 🛢️ You kick back today!”
- “I’ll call customer service and sort out that return. 📱😝 I don’t mind.”

14

Snap a pic of a gift you got for him.

It’ll show he’s your special someone, so he’ll feel valued. It can be really extravagant or super simple—it depends on what you know your S.O. is into!^{[21]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Just be spontaneous and follow your heart, too. If he can use a pick-me-up and you see something that’s perfect for him, grab it.^{[22]
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Research source}
- "Got you some fleece joggers! 👖 I know you wanted some new ones!”
- “Picked up this slick water-proof watch for you! 🌊 🚫"
- ”Went thrifting and put together a whole vinyl collection for you! 🎶 💋”

15

Plan some fun activities.

Give him something to look forward to. Think about what would entertain him and combat his stress. Then, bring up all your ideas and make sure your excitement comes across over the phone or in your texts.^{[23]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.} Your pitch can include a hobby he loves, something interesting he’s never tried before, or a way to bond as a couple.^{[24]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source} For example, you can say:
- "Wanna play some rounds of tennis tomorrow? 🎾 I’ve got something super cute to wear! 😏”
- “I just read about bioluminescent kayaking! We should try it out! ✨ 🚣🏾‍♂️"
- “Down for a sci-fi marathon and a cuddle session tonight? 🤖 🫂”
- “Let’s shake things up a little! You down for some indoor skydiving with me? 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♀️”

16

Joke around with him.

Laughing it up will help his anxiety levels go down. Randomly hit him with a meme or a silly gif. You can also tell him any funny jokes you come across or come up with one on the spot—whether you’re a pro at comedy or just super goofy, he’ll definitely love all your effort!^{[25]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} For example:
- Send him links to your favorite silly clips from a TV show or vlogger.
- Stream a standup routine and watch it together.
- Text a silly pick-up line like, “Do you know CPR? Because you take my breath away. 😳”

17

Talk about your goals together.

Focusing on your bright future together will keep him optimistic. If he’s had a hard day, encourage him to look ahead and focus on what he wants to accomplish. Chat about what he wants to get done that month, or discuss what’s possible 5-10 years from now. Also visualize milestones that you’d love to reach as a couple.^{[26]
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- “You’ll be done training for your marathon next week! 👟You’ll definitely crush the race!”
- “Hey, have you ever thought about who you’ll be 5 years from now? 🤔 I can already see how successful you’ll be!”
- “We’ll get through any rough patch and build an amazing life together. Promise. ❤️❤️”