How to Become a Socialite

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: December 10, 2022 References Approved

Socialites live glamorous lives, but that doesn’t mean they don’t work hard for them. Though some socialites are born into wealth and status, others have worked their way up the social ladder through their impeccable fashion taste, manners, and charisma--and that means you can do it, too! If you’re ready to overhaul your wardrobe, become social media royalty, and become a fixture on the charity circuit, then you’re on your way to being the next star of the social scene.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Looking the Part

1
Dress simply and tastefully. Stick to classic, tried-and-true styles as you start making your way into the socialite scene. For women, you can’t go wrong with dark wash jeans or a “little black dress.” Men should stick with dark, fitted suits.^{[1]
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2
Buy clothes that fit and flatter your shape. Gone are the days when you have to be stick-skinny to make your mark on high society! Dress to your body shape, avoiding shapeless dresses and T-shirts or jeans that cut off circulation or leave imprints on your hips. Choose clothes that fit your body and visit a tailor to ensure that your clothes fit to perfection.^{[2]
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3
Invest in a few key accessories. A strand of pearls adds instant elegance to a woman’s style, while a well-chosen pocket square will add a classy dash of color to a man’s suit. A nice watch is always a solid addition to any outfit. Avoid gaudy, chunky, or flashy jewelry that calls attention to itself. As a socialite, you’re going for a tasteful, but understated look.^{[3]
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4
Choose stylish shoes. Your clothes will matter right down to the tips of your toes, so make sure they match your look. For women, heels are a must if you’re out and about. Men should invest in a few pairs of high-quality brown and black leather shoes.^{[4]
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5
Style your hair neatly and fashionably. Your hair should be clean and well-cut at all times. Women should try to apply heat; go for a sleek, straight look that can adapt to day and nighttime looks, or choose wavy curls or even a blowout for a style that’s both classy and relaxed. For men, go for a styling mousse that won’t leave your hair looking greasy or too slick. Facial hair should be neatly trimmed.^{[5]
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- Ask a hairstylist for their recommendations. What hair color will look best with your skin, or what cut will flatter your features?
6
Wear natural makeup. Neon eyeshadows and caked-on foundation won’t fly in elite socialite circles. Accentuate one feature, like a bold lip or smoky eyeshadow, and keep the rest natural.
- Fit your makeup to your outfit. Pairing a red lip with a black dress is always a good move, but dark, heavy eye makeup won’t fit well with a light sundress.
7
Wear designer brands. As you work your way up the social ladder, start paying attention to the “names” you’re wearing. Even if you’re a ways off from the red carpet, stay up to date on fashion trends and designers-to-watch. Be knowledgeable about the fashion industry even though you may not be able to wear the big brands just yet.^{[6]
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- Subscribe to fashion magazines or follow style blogs to stay up to date on the current trends.
8
Look your best at all times. You never know when you’ll run into an acquaintance or even a photographer, so always dress to impress. Avoid “athleisure” clothing, like leggings or sweatpants, unless you’re working out. Never leave your house with messy hair or smeared makeup.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Developing a Social Media Presence

1
Create social media accounts. Becoming well-known on social media today can help you get your name into exclusive social rings. You’ll still have to do the face-to-face work, but having a popular online presence might help get your foot in the door. Make a Facebook, Instagram and Twitter account. Set them to public so that you can start gathering followers and post regularly, at least once a week.
2
Promote yourself in creative ways. Have a friend take pictures of you dressed well and walking around the city, at a work function, or out doing things you love, like reading, painting, or exercising. Be authentic and share things from your life that make you unique. Avoid blurry selfies and opt for high-quality pictures with short, succinct captions.^{[7]
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3
Take examples from the “professionals.” Study the feeds of celebrities and established socialites to get a feel for what works and what doesn’t. Don’t copy their content, but use it as inspiration to create your own unique online persona and attract the attention of other social elites.^{[8]
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4
Interact with the people you want to be friends with. Follow posts from people in the social circle you’d like to be in. Comment on them regularly with short, positive notes, such as, “Love what you’re doing with this charity!” or “Beautiful, classy picture of you.” Even if the poster doesn’t notice your comment, other commenters will, and may start following your own feed.
5
Avoid unflattering and inappropriate photos. Keep your language clean with no curse words and your clothing fashionable and appropriate, with nothing too revealing. Only post pictures that are flattering and high-quality. Your social media should be just as stylish and sophisticated as you are.
- Never post photos or statuses referencing alcohol or drugs.
6
Keep your opinions to a minimum. You’re just starting to climb the social ladder, so now is not the best time to inadvertently offend people. Remember that people of different backgrounds and beliefs will be interacting with you on social media and that your online profile is probably not the place to try to convert people to your political and religious beliefs. Spread positivity instead of inviting hurt feelings or drama.^{[9]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Making Social Connections

1
Have impeccable manners. If you’re invited to a dinner party, bring a gift or a dish, like wine or a dessert, and pay close attention to your table manners. Stay away from your phone during conversation and be friendly and cordial to everyone you meet.
2
Avoid drama with others in the social scene. Talking behind other people’s backs and dumping friends to move up the social ladder is the worst socialite stereotype. Avoid behaving this way yourself by remembering that a truly confident socialite doesn’t need to put others down to feel strong.
- When others try to involve you in gossip, simply say, “From my experience, he’s a wonderful person,” or, “I don’t know her very well, but she seems sweet.” Keep your comments positive and don’t say anything bad about anyone--it may come back to hurt you if you do!
3
Be charming and memorable in conversation. Strive to make one good connection with each person you meet: maybe you both scuba dive, enjoy baseball, or frequently visit art museums. These similarities will help people remember and like you.
4
Connect with people who can broaden your social circle. First, utilize the connections you do have, from work, school, or family. Keep in touch with them regularly and attend social events with them, asking them to introduce you to their friends and acquaintances.^{[10]
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- Get contact information for new acquaintances and treat them to lunch or coffee. When they plan a guest list for their next party, you’ll be at the front of their mind.
5
Make a few good friends and stick with them. As your circle of acquaintances grows larger, remember to keep stay close to your best friends. You’ll need someone who understands your ambition to be a socialite, who will have your back no matter what, and who you can trust and confide in.
6
Date someone who understands your ambition. Conventional wisdom says that you should date--and, eventually, marry--into a rich family. Sure, it’s a bonus if your spouse or partner has connections in the world of old money, but it’s definitely not what you should look for in a life partner. Instead, date someone you care about and who is interested in at least being social by coming with you to parties, meeting new people, enjoying the challenges and excitement of working your way up in society together.
7
Take pictures with other socialites. Post them to your own social media or pose for a photographer at an event--the photos may even end up in the society section of a newspaper or magazine. Be relaxed and confident.
- Say, “We both look amazing tonight. This needs to be documented,” or “I told myself I’d get one more picture tonight. Are you in?”
8
Be confident. The last thing you want is to come off as desperate to established socialites, and the best way to prevent this is to exude confidence. Sit up straight, walk tall, and act like you belong. If you believe it, so will everyone else.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Choosing a Career and Doing Charity Work

1
Earn a degree. Aim for a well-respected private institution if you can, but study hard regardless of where you end up. Get a well-rounded education, especially in the arts and languages. As a socialite, you’ll be expected to be able to comment on everything from the news of the day to fundraising strategies to the art world.
- Make friends and connections at your college or university. You’ll cross paths with many interesting and well-connected people at school, and those friendships will help you when you start working your way into the social elite.
- If higher education isn’t a possibility, educate yourself with books, the Internet and through conversation. Information and self-education is easily accessible if you’re persistent.
2
Find a profession in the public eye. Aim for a career in the entertainment, fashion, or fine arts industry if you can, but above all make sure you’re choosing a field that you’re passionate about. Talking about your work with others and showing them authentic passion will be more engaging and memorable than forcing yourself to chat about a job you don’t like.
3
Find a charity you’re passionate about. The biggest socialites have a charity to champion, so pick one of your own. Think about how you truly want to help your community, whether it’s by helping the homeless or the environment, or raising money for animal shelters. Research charities in your area and get in touch with them to see how you can help.^{[11]
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4
Attract other socialites to your charity. Let people know what you’re involved in through social media and word of mouth. Say, “I’ve just started working with this amazing charity. I think they could really benefit from your help, too.”^{[12]
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5
Attend charity functions, and throw your own. Many larger charities will throw elegant fundraising events to thank their big donors and attract more. Donate money to score an invite for yourself and talk to as many people as you can at the event.
- Take pictures to post online, and throw in a couple good poses for the event photographers, too.