How to Become Popular at a New School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: June 11, 2022 References Approved

Starting a new school can be overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be a nightmare. Whether it's your first day of class or you're jumping right into a school year in progress, you don't have to feel like the odd man out. Becoming popular at a new school can be as easy as simply putting yourself out there.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Involved

1
Join in. Immerse yourself with the other students and participate in the same activities. Don't walk the halls with your head lowered or skip lunch because you have no one to sit with; talk to people and get to know them. Show an interest in what's going on around you. Take part in classes like art and PE as these are often cooperative, team-building environments. Before long you'll start to pick up on what people are like and begin make friends that share common interests.
2
Join a sports team or extracurricular club. If you're athletic or have a particular set of interests, research the organizations your new school offers and sign up for something you enjoy.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.} Most schools host a diversity of recreational programs for sports, foreign languages, cinema studies and other special interest groups. Becoming a member of one of these groups can connect you to other students who like the same things you do and make you feel like part of something larger.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Participation in extracurricular clubs and programs is also a good way to develop new skills and build valuable relationships and experience that could benefit you later on.
Advertisement
3
Be a part of social events. Find out about school sporting events, dances, and parties and make sure you're there. These are all gatherings where you can come together with your new classmates outside the usual academic confines. If you're the outgoing type, plan your own party or outing as a way to advertise that you're new and interested in getting to know new people.
- You can usually find out what's going on in your school through daily announcements and bulletin board postings. Keep an eye out for events that pique your interest, as there will be others with the same interests in attendance.
4
Connect through social media. Like it or not, the modern age is dominated by the presence of social media, and it's an invaluable tool for forging connections with others. Add your new friends on Facebook or follow them on Instagram. These apps have sections that recommend new friends to you based on people you might know, and they'll also be able to see you and add you as a friend. Seeing other people on your friends' profiles is a good way to spark recognition and prompt an introduction in real life.^{[3]
X
Trustworthy Source
Pew Research Center
Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends
Go to source}
- While social media platforms can be useful tools for making a staying connected to friends, they can also be distracting, time-consuming and used to bully or harass. Treat your friends respectfully, even online, and be sure not to spend so much time using social media that it outweighs your personal life.
5
Have your new friends introduce you to their other friends. There's no better way to meet new people than through a friend that you like and trust. Think of all the fascinating people out there that you haven't met yet: networking can bring together people who might otherwise have never had contact with one another. What's more, you can also expand your friend group by introducing different groups of friends to each other, creating one big, happy friend group with you as the common thread.^{[4]
X
Research source}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Standing Out

1
Be unique. Prove to people that you're one-of-a-kind, not just someone ordinary. Now is the time to be daring and exhibit the originality of your character. Everyone has something about them that makes them different; you should show these unique traits off proudly.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- If you have a special talent or something particularly interesting about yourself, demonstrate it openly. Allow people to see for themselves who you are and what you can do.
- Don't conform to norms or try to fit in. Be approachable to draw others to you, then give them a glimpse of something different.
- One way to show that you are unique is to present many different aspects of yourself. Don't just cling to one activity or interest. Be smart, be creative, be edgy. Surprise people.
2
Diversify your social circle. Spend time hanging out with a lot of different people. People who are truly popular are comfortable being friendly with everyone they come into contact with. Don't just be friends with one group or type of person, but make an effort to get to know everyone. You'll begin bridging gaps in separate groups and become known as a person that brings people together.^{[6]
X
Research source}
3
Play host. Once you've become known at your new school, you can start hosting your own events and inviting your friends along. Be active in making plans and getting as many people involved as you can. Find activities that lots of people can do together, such as house parties and group dates. Be sure to invite everyone personally, and give them some face time once they're there.
- Taking the initiative to invite people to events you've planned shows that you're interested in being their friend.
- If you decide to throw a house party, make sure it doesn't get out of hand. Your guests are your responsibility, so underage drinking and drug use are frowned upon. Keep noise to a moderate level out of respect for your neighbors.
- Bowling is a perfect casual outing. You can go in large groups, and it's a fun, relaxed environment to socialize in.
4
Be the life of the party. If you want to be popular, you have to be bold. Place yourself at the center of the action and strive to impress. Be charming and humorous when talking to others. Let everyone see that you're fun to be around—before long, everyone will remember you as a vibrant and exciting personality.
- Remember to be confident. When you're at the center of attention, it's important that you be cool and collected.
- Talk to everyone. Make the rounds and repay the attention you're getting. Say hi to the people you know, and introduce yourself to those that you don't. Make everyone feel like they're on your radar.
- Make sure everyone else is having fun. Fun should be your main priority. When other people see what a good time you're having, it will make them want to be around you more.
5
Excel at whatever you do. Performing well at a given task is a good way to get noticed, and will characterize you as someone with an impressive set of skills. If you're naturally studious, challenge yourself to get better grades, and offer to help others with their schoolwork. If you're the athletic type, try out for a sports team and go out for a prominent position. Even if it's just in your social life, always work hard to be the best at what you set out to do.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For example, you can stand out in the classroom by having a great work ethic and being a leader.^{[8]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
- Talk to people about your involvement in things. Mention that you're a part of the honor's society, or that you won the state wrestling tournament. It's alright to be proud of your achievements.
- Don't brag about yourself. Modesty is an admirable trait of popular people.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Showing Your Best Self to Others

1
Be confident. If you want people to like you for who you are, you have to also like yourself. Remind yourself of your positive traits and try to let those be the ones you display to others. When people notice the confident way you hold yourself, they'll realize you're someone worth being around.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Practicing confident habits lowers anxiety and improves social performance, which can make you more outgoing and help those around you feel at ease.
2
Take pride in your appearance. First impressions are important, and they tend to stick with people. If you want to be well-liked, your manner of dress should be expressive and make it clear that you take the impression you make on others seriously. Don't worry about following trends or styling yourself in a way you think your peers would approve of; dress to make yourself comfortable, confident and approachable.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Investing in your appearance isn't just about having cool clothes. It means adjusting your attitude and behavior to highlight your most attractive qualities.
- Get in the habit of bathing and grooming regularly, get plenty of sleep, and make sure you engage in some sort of physical activity.
3
Eat breakfast. This might sound strange, but starting the day off with a solid meal has been shown to wake you up and increase energy levels throughout the day, and can give you that critical brainpower you need to be at your best. Choose whole, healthy foods, like proteins, fruits and whole grains--the energy boost you get from cleaner foods lasts longer and you'll also feel better.
- Eating in the morning doesn't have to be complicated: good morning nutrition can be as simple as a bowl of oatmeal, or a muffin with a banana and a glass of milk.
- If you're short on time or not accustomed to having breakfast at home, most public schools provide a basic breakfast for students who arrive early enough.
4
Be outgoing. It might be scary to talk to somebody you don't know, but remember that the other kids are just as new to things as you, or were at one time. Put your best foot forward. Strike up conversation when you can, be friendly and smile at everyone you come across. The more approachable you make yourself, the more people will feel drawn to you, and, with time, the more friends you'll gain.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with someone new!^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
5
Make one new friend and have them show you around. Most people usually end up talking to at least one person when they're in unfamiliar circumstances, and this can provide a great opportunity to make your first friend. Introduce yourself and let them know that you're new. Chances are, they'd be happy to be the one to help you find your way around. Once you've made one friend, you've opened yourself up to meeting many more.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do I make friends when I move to a new place?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Take a walk with your family around the school building and neighborhood to explore the community. You can also join a community sports team or organization, which could help you make new friends.

Warnings

Contrary to what some think, bullying isn't cool. Don't try to gain popularity by putting someone else down, or use popularity as an excuse to be unkind.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 110 Not Helpful 10
Never prioritize popularity so much that you stop being yourself. You want people to like you for you, not for who you pretend to be.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 78 Not Helpful 20
Remember that while interacting with your peers is an essential part of school, your main focus should be your studies. Working hard and excelling gets you noticed, not just by the other kids, but by teachers, coaches, etc. Your aptitude might create important opportunities for you in the future.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 76 Not Helpful 20
If you're a minor, social media should only be used with the knowledge and permission of your parent or guardian.

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 39 Not Helpful 60