How to Be Macho

Last Updated: March 24, 2023

A macho person can take care of themselves and their family. They are intelligent, respectful, and confident, but also knows how to lose, how to ask for help, and how to do what's necessary. Being a strong person takes work. If you want to learn to cultivate a more macho persona, you can learn to act the part, look the part, and avoid the stereotypes that give "macho" people a bad name.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Acting Macho

1
Learn to be self-reliant. A macho person can take care of themselves and their family. If you want to cultivate a macho persona, learn to do more things for yourself and rely on others less for basic tasks. Can you change the oil in your car or do you take it to the shop? A macho person should know how to intelligently approach any situation that calls for it without panicking. Here's a brief list of macho stuff it would be good for anyone to know:
- take care of your car
- fix a leaky faucet
- throw a knife (though not at a tree or anything you could harm)
- cook a steak properly
- shoot a gun
- shave with a straight razor
- find water
- butcher meat
- survive in the wilderness
- win a fight
2
Enjoy masculine hobbies. Playing Xbox is fun and all, but there are probably more macho things you could be doing. A macho person gets outside and does things with their hands. Masculine hobbies can be a great way of bonding with others. Try out a few macho activities to see what you like:
- fishing
- Sports like soccer, golf, and whatever interests
- boxing
- motorcycling
- reading
- skeet-shooting
Advertisement
3
Be an expert at something. A macho person is an intelligent individual who makes learning as much as they can about something a big priority. Whether it's for work or a hobby, you should actively try to learn and master a subject. People should want to come to you for help because of your expertise in a particular subject.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Never take others down for knowing more than you do about something. It doesn't make you macho to treat ignorance like it's some kind of "cool" thing, it just makes you look silly. Instead, appreciate them and learn from them to make yourself better.
- If you're really talented, you'll be able to back up your talk with action. Bragging to your friends about how great you are in the sack, how fast your new car goes, or how great your outside jump shot is may be macho, or it may just be a load of lies.
4
Form solid relationships with other people. Being macho is no fun if you don't have an A-team of like-minded people ready to stomp around the woods getting wild and howling at the moon with. It's good to have a ride-or-die group of friends to support each other and make memories.
- Find masculine role models that you respect and learn from them. If you're learning a trade, apprentice yourself to a person that you admire personally and professionally and learn everything you can from them.
- Spend time with your male family members to get to know them a little better. Try to strengthen your relationship with your parents, your extended family, your cousins, and siblings.
- Steer clear of bad influences. Some "macho" people are disrespectful, out of control, or downright dangerous to themselves or others. You don't want to associate with them.
5
Withhold excessive displays of emotion. When a macho person scores a touchdown, they may celebrate a little, but they'll calmly walk to the referee, hand them the ball, and get back to the scrimmage. Business as usual. Showing off is for people who have to compensate. While it's okay to celebrate, face frustration, or feel down, don't let it overtake your behavior. Macho people should neither be crushed by a failure or overcome by a success. Treat anything that happens, good or bad, as a curiosity.
- Handle your anger rationally. Don't raise your voice, break things, or intimidate others. If you're tempted to act out, excuse yourself and take a walk. And if you were out of line, apologize and try not to do it again.
6
Deal with stress responsibly. A macho person is usually stoic, but that doesn't mean they should bottle up their feelings. Suppressing things will just make you explode. Instead, work through your problems in a healthy way, either on your own or with someone you trust.
- Try activities like exercise, long walks, journaling, meditation, or art to process feelings of stress. Work through it and let it go once you're ready.
- Get a few trusted people you can confide in when things get tough. They can listen, help you process, and help you figure out what to do next.
7
Keep your soft side. The best, strong people have a heart of gold inside. Always show kindness to kids, people who are less fortunate, and people who have nothing to offer you. This shows that you're a respectable and stand-up guy. It also shows people they can count on you.
- Being kind isn't just good for yourself and others, but it's a very attractive trait.
8
Be useful. The world doesn't care as much about who you are as it cares about what you do.^{[2]
X
Research source} Make things better and be reliable. This shows people that they can count on you.
- Be useful to your family. Do your chores before people ask and do them right. Clean, run errands, and keep things in good running order. Be there for emotional support when someone is having a rough time.
- Be useful at work. Handle your responsibilities on time to the best of your abilities. Help struggling coworkers when you can and be a team player. If you can't solve something on your own, reach out for help instead of wasting your time.
- Be useful to your partner, if you have one. Make a regular effort to do something that pleases them, both physically and emotionally. Help with their problems, listen to them, and go out of your way to make them feel special.
- Invest in your future usefulness. If you're in school, take it seriously and work hard to learn as much as you can. At work, pay attention to training opportunities. Try spending some of your free time learning things you could use later, from handling emergencies to making people feel better.
- Be useful to yourself. Don't ignore your problems. Analyze them, get help if you need it, and fix them. Seek a balanced life to keep yourself healthy. Remember that it's hard to take good care of others if you aren't taking good care of yourself.
9
Be yourself. Being macho doesn't mean you have to drive your car recklessly, drink too much, and treat everyone like dirt. A good person acts like themselves, stands up for what they believe in, do what is right, and is a genuine person, first and foremost. A real macho person isn't putting on an act, they're just being themselves.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Being Confident

1
Take good care of your family. Be reliable and keep a good job so other people will be able to count on you. Make yourself available and be a good role model for the other members of your family. Teach them what you know and learn as much as you can about them. Be there to celebrate their wins and help them get back on their feet when they fall.
- If you're not in a bread-winning role, you can still take care of your family. Do chores reliably, watch over and guide any children, support people when they are struggling, and take your education seriously if you are in school.
- Build up your family instead of tearing them down. You want to be their rock and their supporter, so that someday when they succeed, you'll be high on the list of their people to thank.
- If you take good care of your family, they'll want to take care of you sometimes too. Don't push them away when this happens. Instead, show them gratitude and let them feel good about helping you. They'll know you'll be there for them next time they need you.
- Sometimes, what gets called "macho" is really just a person compensating for a lack of confidence in themselves and their ability to care for those around them. People who can't keep their own household together have to lash out at other people, brag to everyone around them about how great they are, to keep up the status-quo. If you really do provide for your family, keep a good job, and make your partner happy, there's no need to compensate with fake machismo.
2
Use confident body language. Work on a calm, confident presence. Sit up straight, walk with good posture, and look people in the eye directly. Speak clearly and with conviction that the things you say are trustworthy, correct, and worth listening to.
- A macho person lets their presence be known physically and vocally, but without trying actively to intimidate others. There's a difference between being macho and being a jerk. Don't insult people to tear them down and hold yourself up. If you like to get into trash-talk sessions with your friends, draw the line somewhere.
- If you can't make eye contact, you can look at people's noses or eyebrows. Most people can't tell the difference.
3
Say what you mean and mean what you say. A macho person stands up for what is right and speaks from an intelligent and informed point of view. Don't be afraid to speak your mind honestly and clearly. If you disagree with someone, let your disagreement be known respectfully, even if it would be easier to let it slide.
4
Lose graciously. Have the confidence to let failures and losses roll off your back. Learn to lose calmly and move on. A macho person can lose graciously, win with humility, and learn from their mistakes, rather than letting failures turn them into a defensive jerk.
- It's also important to learn when you're wrong and admit it. If you're having an argument and start changing your mind, or if your decision turns out to be the wrong one, say so. Own up to it.
5
Take care of your body and don't take unnecessary risks. Many macho people will take risks, but they're calculated risks. The last thing you want to do is spend a week in the hospital because you decided to show off for your buddies with some foolish stunt. Instead, think through the possible consequences and decide whether it's worth it.
- Always wear the appropriate protective gear. Wear a helmet on your bike and use goggles when dealing with things that can go flying. Remember, a helmet is more masculine than a preventable hospital trip.
- Get regular doctor check-ups and see a doctor if something feels wrong. This way, you'll fix small problems before they become big problems.
6
Let people come to you. Macho people will often cultivate a mysterious presence that acts like a magnet for people, especially romantic partners. If people think you're a person with secrets, a person who has something to say, they'll gravitate toward you and become interested. It's part charisma, part masculinity, and part restraint.
- Be quiet. Be a good listener, and don't speak unless it's absolutely necessary. It's hard to be macho when your mouth never stops moving.
- Be serious. Mysterious macho people aren't usually goofballs. Think of the grave seriousness of veterans and old sea captains.
- Be sensual (if that's your thing). Understand the loving arts of massage and pleasure. Learn about how to please your partner, both emotionally and physically.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Avoiding Stereotypes

1
Be courteous and respectful to women. If one thing gives macho guys a bad name, it's that they treat women poorly, talking down to them, objectifying them, and being rude in general. A macho person treats all the women in their life respectfully. Learn to talk to women one-on-one, calmly and with courtesy.
- No means no. Not every woman is going to talk to you or date you, and it doesn't usually mean something is wrong with you. She might be taken, too busy, working through some personal stuff, asexual, or LGBTQ, or just not in the mood. Say "That's all right. Have a good day" and move on.
- You don't have to put on a big show to attract people. It's a turn off and shows that you're just putting on an act. Never cat-call or use pick-up lines to talk to women. This can be creepy and unattractive.
2
Respect LGBTQ+ people. An insecure "macho" people might feel like he has to go over the top to prove that he is straight and cisgender. The truth is that none of these things are better or worse than the others. Never assert your masculinity by putting down LGBTQ people. A healthy man recognizes that these people deserve just as much respect as anyone else.
- You can be gay, bi, asexual, trans, or otherwise LGBTQ+ and also be macho.
- Don't use slurs against LGBTQ folks or phrases such as "that's so gay". These are very hurtful and pathetic when there are so many other words you could use besides "gay".
3
Protect people who need protecting. As a secure macho person, you should be helping people, not harming them. People should be able to trust that they're safe around you and that you'll do what you reasonably can to keep them from harm.
- If a victim or survivor comes to you for help, take their story seriously and comfort them. Ask them what would help make things better.
- Practice phrases like "Not cool," or "Seriously?" to say if someone else is being disparaging or acting like a bully. If they backpedal and say "It was just a joke," reply with, "It wasn't a funny one."
- Know that you can't always fix things or save everyone, but you can usually improve on the situation. Sometimes that's just listening or staying with the person while they face their demons. That can mean more than you realize.
- Don't overreact to a tense situation or make a scene when it's not needed. Keep your cool and de-escalate instead of escalating. Keep your voice low unless absolutely necessary. Never throw a punch unless someone is an immediate physical danger to others.
4
Eat vegetables and have a well-rounded diet. Some masculine people think it's "cool" to only eat meat, and develop a dislike of green vegetables and other foods because they think it's non-masculine. Unfortunately for them, a diet that consists mostly of red meat and avoids green vegetables leads to things like prostate, stomach, and bowel cancer. Eating healthy will prevent you from getting cancers and harmful illnesses in the future.^{[3]
X
Research source}
5
Drink responsibly if you decide to drink. Being able to "hold your liquor" isn't a sign of masculinity, it's a sign of alcohol abuse. There's nothing wrong with enjoying a couple of drinks among friends if you're old enough to drink, but you need to know your limits and avoid pushing them as a way of showing off to your friends. It can lead to serious problems.
- Never let yourself get blackout drunk. It's always better to stay in control--for the safety of yourself and others.
- This also goes for other self-destructive vices, like smoking and using other drugs. Abusing substances is a sign of insecurity, not a sign of masculinity.
6
Drive safely. There's nothing macho about speeding, cutting people off, or revving your engine at stop-lights. If you're a real man, you don't need to overcompensate by showing off in a big car.
- If you want to be a person who takes care of their family, that means coming home safe to them. Be a defensive driver. Put your phone away or give it to the person in the passenger seat.
- If you've got a cool ride that you're really proud of, show it off to your friends in your driveway, or on open road, but don't show it off in the middle of traffic. Strangers on their morning commute don't care about your horsepower, and it won't make you look more masculine to peel out from stoplights in front of them.
7
If you choose to have sex, use protection and be responsible. A macho person doesn't need to be promiscuous to prove how "good" they are in bed. Practice safe sex and move at your own speed. Ignore people who brag about sexual prowess. They're probably just watching too much porn and making stuff up anyway.
- Check in with your partner to make sure they're into it. If they're hesitant or they say no, back off. It's not sexy if someone is uncomfortable. Communicate, don't push, and be willing to slow down or stop.
- You don't need to have sex in order to be masculine. It's okay if you want to wait or if you aren't always in the mood. Remember, "no means no" applies to men too. Nobody should ever be ashamed of not wanting or having sex.
8
Be a team player when you need to. While some macho people are loners, even the most introverted macho person should be willing to work with others when they need to. Doing everything yourself isn't always practical.
- Look out for your people and help them when they need you.
- Help others become more self-reliant and teach them what you know.
9
Ask for help when you need it. This is maybe the oldest macho stereotype: Being unwilling to pull over and ask for directions. Sure, it can be embarrassing to admit that you're wrong, or to admit that you need help with something, but it's worse to get in over your head and make the situation worse. A macho person wants to do something right first and foremost, not do it shoddily by going it alone. You can't do everything solo. Ask for help.
- Being secure in your masculinity means being willing to admit that you aren't perfect.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Looking Macho

1
Take care of your appearance. A macho person should perform basic grooming on themselves without spending too much time or money on his appearance. To look macho, you need to be clean, smell good, and dress appropriately, but not look like you spent more than 5 minutes getting ready in the morning, or that you care about your appearance.
- If you have your hair and hands in good shape. Instead, learn to trim your own neckline and beard with a trimmer to keep yourself looking good between basic cuts. Trim and clean your fingernails regularly, but don't worry about your cuticles.
- Shower and wear clean clothes that fit appropriately and highlight your masculine physique. There's nothing macho about stinking and wearing the clothes a teenager wears. Learn to dress yourself.
2
Wear simple, clean, and practical clothes. You can't go wrong by wearing jeans. What does a macho person wear? The simpler, the better. A basic look that features any style of jeans, a clean white t-shirt, and work boots looked good in the 1950s and it still looks cool today.
- Dress appropriately for the situation. For example, don't wear flip-flops and board shorts to your job. Get a solid pair of shoes or boots and get the job done.^{[4]
  X
  Research source}
- Try wearing darker colors since it can make you look more masculine.
3
Start working out. A macho person has a macho physique, probably not from spending time at some expensive gym doing pilates, but also from lifting heavy stuff in their garage. Develop a muscle-building routine that you can do at home with materials you already have. You don't need to buy expensive weight equipment or trendy gear. Dumbbells and a workout mat will do the trick.
- Do a little reading on building muscle to make sure you're doing it responsibly and appropriately. Push yourself, but try not to injure yourself either because you were doing it wrong.
- Focus on your abs and biceps above all other muscle groups. Do sit-ups of different varieties and at different angles to build your six-pack muscles and perform bicep curls and bench presses to work on your chest and arms.
- Starting small is better than not starting at all. If you can't do a push-up yet, start with doing them on your knees and work your way up.