How to Be Charismatic

Co-authored by Sheila A. Anderson and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: August 26, 2022 References Approved

We all know someone who draws attention to them as soon as they walk into a room. These people often possess charisma, which makes them captivating to others. Fortunately, you can learn to be more charismatic! Start by building your self confidence and learning how to make others feel special. Next, work on improving your verbal and nonverbal communication.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Using Positive Body Language

1
Make eye contact with people.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Expert Interview. 19 July 2021} Eye contact both draws people in and shows them you're interested in them. Look people in the eye as soon as you enter a room, and maintain eye contact while you're speaking with them.^{[2]
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If you have trouble making eye contact, practice with someone you love and feel comfortable with. Then, slowly expand how long you make eye contact with people you don't know well.
2
Lean toward people when you're having a conversation. ^{[3]
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Expert Source

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Expert Interview. 19 July 2021}This shows people you're interested in what they have to say. It puts your full attention on them and shows you're engaged with the present moment.^{[4]
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- Consciously remind yourself to lean forward, whether you're standing or sitting.
- Don't lean back in your chair. This makes you seem disengaged.
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3
Keep your arms uncrossed to keep your body language open.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Expert Interview. 19 July 2021} Crossing your arms closes you off to people, but keeping your arms at your sides shows people you're open. You can also use open gestures.^{[6]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}

Charismatic people are open, so closing off yourself will turn people off from you.
4
Smile a lot when you interact with others. Smiling draws people to you. It lights up your face and makes you appear more positive. Practice smiling so you can do it naturally in conversations.^{[7]
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- Don't smile when you're talking about a dark or sad topic, such as illness or death. People will view this as inappropriate.
5
Use a lot of gestures to get people's attention and make your point.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Expert Interview. 19 July 2021} This makes you appear more animated, which draws people to you. Speak with your hands to expand on what you're saying.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Watch yourself in the mirror or film yourself to help you practice your gesturing.
6
Maintain good posture. Stand tall with your shoulders back. Tip your chin up, keeping your gaze forward. Additionally, avoid slumping your shoulders when you walk or stand.^{[10]
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- Use a mirror to check your posture. You can also film yourself walking around a room to check how well you're maintaining good posture.
7
Claim your personal space. You deserve to take up space, just like anyone else. Shrinking yourself will make you less visible to people, which makes it harder to be charismatic. Spread out and take up the space you need.^{[11]
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- It helps to take up hobbies that encourage you to own your space. For example, engaging in the martial arts can help you claim your personal space.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Building Your Confidence

1
Focus on what you love about yourself. It's easier for people to like you if they see you like yourself. It can be hard to celebrate who you are, but knowing your strengths, talents, and what makes you special can help. By bringing your positive traits forward, you can push aside your self-doubt.^{[12]
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Trustworthy Source
Cleveland Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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- Make a list of your positive qualities, talents, and accomplishments. You might also ask those you love to tell you what they love about you.
- Play up the features you love about yourself. For example, you might create a nice cat-eye to draw attention to your lovely eyes or dress to show off your toned legs.
2
Adopt a positive mindset. Positivity draws people to you and makes them want to be around you. Show positivity by sharing an optimistic outlook, looking for the best in a situation, and giving encouragement.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Expert Interview. 19 July 2021} Present challenges or obstacles as opportunities rather than stumbling blocks.^{[14]
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Research source} Here are some tips to be more positive:^{[15]
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Trustworthy Source
Johns Hopkins Medicine
Official resource database of the world-leading Johns Hopkins Hospital
Go to source}
- Counter negative thoughts with positive self-talk. When you catch something negative like, “I might fail,” counter it with a positive statement. You might tell yourself, “This is an opportunity to learn and grow.”
- Surround yourself with positive people to help maintain your good outlook.
- Improve your mood with laughter. Watch a funny movie, tell jokes, or share a funny story. Laughing every day will help you feel more positive.
- Keep a gratitude list to remember what you're grateful for.
- Work on the parts of your life you don't love. When you start to feel down on yourself, remind yourself of the progress you're making!
3
Dress to impress. Your clothes tell others how you feel about yourself and what they should think about you. Clothing can also determine how you feel in the moment. Choose clothes that make you feel your best and convey the message about yourself you want others to see.^{[16]
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- Wear clothes that fit you well, and choose colors or patterns you think look nice.
- Don't choose an outfit just because you think others will think it's trendy. If you don't actually like it, you'll just feel uncomfortable, which will show.
4
Think about an accomplishment for a temporary confidence boost. When you think about your achievements, your brain releases a chemical called oxytocin that makes you feel good about yourself. If you're not feeling confident, an oxytocin boost can help you feel more confident for a short period of time. Before you go into a social situation, think about your past achievements.^{[17]
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For example, you might keep photos of your top 3 accomplishments in an album on your phone. Flip through them when you arrive at a party or just before you go into a big meeting.
5
Take an improv class to improve your confidence. Improv helps you get comfortable performing in front of others, plus it makes you think on your feet. Taking a class or joining a local improv group can help you break out of your shell in a supportive environment. Plus, it's really fun!
- You can find improv classes by searching online. You might also find an improv group using a site like meetup.com or Facebook groups.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Making Others Feel Special

1
Stay off your electronic devices when interacting with others. Using your devices while people are talking to you makes them feel less important. Put your cell phone on silent and keep it in your pocket or bag. Additionally, avoid playing with your smartwatch or other devices. Put all of your attention on the people around you.^{[18]
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Designate time to check your phone. For example, you might occasionally excuse yourself to the restroom, where you can check your phone.
2
Listen to others talk about themselves. Focus on what the other person is saying, not what you will say in response. Nod along as they talk, and offer affirmative statements like, “Uh huh,” “That's interesting,” or “Wow” to show you're listening.^{[19]
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- Ask people open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. Listen to their response with genuine interest.
- Paraphrase what they say to you to show them that you're listening.
3
Give people genuine compliments. Telling people what you like or appreciate about them will make them feel good.^{[20]
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Research source} Be specific about what you're complimenting to make your compliment more meaningful. For example, say, “You were very well spoken in your presentation today,” rather than “Good presentation.”^{[21]
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- Complimenting someone's appearance can make people feel good about themselves and may make them like you better. However, it's not correct for every situation, especially in the workplace.
- Complimenting people's work, accomplishments, and talents can be encouraging and motivating to others.
4
Remember people's names. When you meet people, repeat their name back to them to help you remember it. Then, use their name whenever you speak to them. Showing them you remember will make them feel special and demonstrate that you have an interest in knowing who they are.^{[22]
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Repeating a person's name several times while you speak to them is the best way to cement it in your mind.
5
Be empathetic toward others. Think about where other people might be coming from. Try to see things from their perspective. Put yourself in their shoes so you can understand how they might feel. Show people you care about how they feel by verbally acknowledging their feelings and listening to what they're going through.^{[23]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- Ask people how they feel, then truly listen.
- Don't judge people for reacting differently to a situation than you would. Everyone has different experiences that mold them into who they are.
- Tell people about times you've felt the same way they do.
6
Share your own struggles and how you overcame them. Use stories about your life to inspire others. This makes you seem accomplished and impressive, but also shows that you've worked hard to get where you are.^{[24]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- Be careful not to complain about your problems or explain all of the issues in your life. Limit your sharing to stories about how you triumphed over adversity.^{[25]
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Communicating Well

1
Practice making small talk. It's normal to have a hard time with small talk, but charismatic people know how to talk to anyone. Develop a few talking points that you can draw on for small talk. Use a mirror or video camera to watch yourself delivering these talking points so you can improve your delivery.^{[26]
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For example, you might develop talking points about the weather, your city, local sports teams, your favorite music, holidays, or the seasons.
2
Use humor to relate to others. You can tell funny jokes, relate a funny story, or pick on yourself. This helps people feel comfortable around you and enjoy being with you.^{[27]
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- Don't go overboard when using humor. Instead, pepper humor throughout your conversation or speech.
- For example, you might open a presentation with a joke or tell a funny story at a party.
3
Be a storyteller. Telling stories draws people in and makes you appear more engaging. When you do talk about yourself, do so through stories. Share your personal history. Use an excited tone, animated gestures, and engaging facial expressions to entertain others.^{[28]
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- Taking an acting class can help you improve your storytelling abilities. Actors and charismatic people use the same techniques to captivate their audience and evoke emotion. You can learn how to use voice inflection, tone, gesture, and facial expressions to enhance your stories.
4
Stand behind your ideas rather than wavering. People are turned off by uncertainty, so you need to take a stance. Believe in your choices and what you have to say. Tell others that you have the answer, even if you don't feel fully confident. You can always re-evaluate and take another path if you realize you were wrong.^{[29]
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- Even if you are uncertain, people will view you as more charismatic if you act sure about your choices. Make the best decisions using the information you have at the moment. If you later decide you were wrong, you can always do something else.
- For example, you'd say, “I believe in this plan” rather than “This plan could work.” The first statement shows you are confident in the idea. However, the second statement suggests you aren't completely sure if the plan will work.
5
Show passion for what you're talking about. People are drawn to people who appear passionate. Don't talk mindlessly; only share ideas you truly believe in. Be excited about what you say and do, and invite others to share your excitement.^{[30]
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- Build your life around your passions. This will help you appear more engaging to others. If something doesn't excite you, put it on the backburner.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I make my body language positive?

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.

Sheila A. Anderson

Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon

Expert Answer

Try to be as open and energetic as possible. Smiling, making direct eye contact, leaning inward as you talk, and using expressive hand gestures are great ways to exude positive body language.
Question

What does it mean to mirror someone?

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.

Sheila A. Anderson

Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon

Expert Answer

Mirroring someone is a special technique where you mimic another person's behavior. It's actually a great way to exude charisma—not only does mirroring imply a level of understanding and empathy, but it also makes your conversational partner feel good.
Question

How can I become more charismatic quickly?

Sheila A. Anderson
Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.

Sheila A. Anderson

Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon

Expert Answer

Try changing up your vocabulary and tone! Sprinkling positive, uplifting words and genuine compliments into your day-to-day conversations helps build meaningful connections with the people around you.

Warnings

Don't try to force charisma. It takes practice to learn how to be charismatic. If you try to go too quickly, your behavior may seem bizarre and untrustworthy.

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