How to Be Sassy

Last Updated: February 9, 2023 References Approved

What's fun about being nice and shy? You want to be sassy! Saucy, vivacious, bold -- all qualities that are enviable. Instead of blending in with the crowd, you stand out. Instead of going with the flow, you create it. You're the girl with that spicy, unstoppable attitude in any situation.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Channeling Your Sass

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Be a bit cheeky. This one toes the line. You want to be confident, not cocky.^{[1]
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Research source} You want to be honest, but not hurtful. And you want to be cheeky, but not rude. Cheeky is when you say something where the words might be a little brash, but you say it with a smile on your face, and you don't actually mean anything by it. It's a spice of attitude thrown in the mix! It's a pretty common term in British English; its closest American equivalent? A sassy smart-ass.
- So the next time your friend texts you, "Hey, can I come over and play with 'you're' ferret?" and you're sick and tired of your friend's typos, instead of responding with "Okay!" you opt for, "What?! I am a ferret?! RUDE."
- Being cheeky.
2
Be quick with a comeback. When Shayla says she's leaving your party to go to a cooler one, you tell her she might want to change first, so her shirt matches her shoes. Again -- it's with a shy smile and a laugh -- not a snip-snap, hair-tossed retort full of vitriol. It's just that when someone else wants to say something a little less than tactful, you show that you can be a little less than tactful, too. Play the game, baby!
- Our buddy William Shakespeare said it best when he said, "I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed." Comebacks are sassy when they're disguised as a statement of fact or a question, as opposed to stating your opinion. They're nicer on the outside than they are on the inside. Instead of saying, "Oi! Shut up!" You say, "Is your name Kanye West? It's not? Then stop interrupting me." Kind of like that. Or, next time your friend is talking about how awesome they are, you say, "I'd like to agree with you, but I don't want to be wrong." Zing!
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3
Be confident. If there's one thing that's true of all sassy people, it's that they're confident. It takes knowing and loving yourself to have that gusto to do your own thing, to speak your mind, to not have the personality of a wilting wallflower. So to empower your inner sass, grab that confident person within you and let them out!^{[2]
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Research source} Because they're freaking cool.
- If being confident sounds like a challenge to you, it may be easiest to start on the outside in. True, confidence comes from the inside, but a little can seep in from the outside! Get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside, and act like you think a confident you might act. Practice makes a habit, after all!
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Be funny. Might as well ask your pet ferret to recite soliloquies, huh? But you can't think of it like that -- everyone has a sense of humor; everyone has things that they find humorous. It's a human thing, and it doesn't select for genes. So trust your gut -- if it makes you laugh, it probably makes someone else laugh, too!^{[3]
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- Sassy people tend to zero-in on two types of humor: humor at another's expense and humor at their expense (aka self-deprecating humor). Both are light-hearted, of course! So next time your friend has chocolate cake on their face all day, tell them, "You had chocolate cake on your face all day. Because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone." And then when you have chocolate cake on your face all day, you tell everyone it's because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.
5
Be direct and honest. Once we hit ten years old or so, we start unconsciously learning to not say what we have on our minds, girls especially. We learn to be courteous, polite, and we definitely learn to avoid embarrassing ourselves. In learning that, we lose our ability to be direct and honest. Well, to be sassy, you've got to get a little bit of that back!
- This is, however, not an excuse to be mean. Sassy is not mean. So when your friend isn't pulling their weight on that group project of yours, it's not your place to say, "Yo. Check yourself before you wreck our grade, slacker." Instead, you're the one in the group with the moxie to say, "Hey. We're all working our butts off here. If you don't want to help, you're more than welcome to do a project alone, but we'd rather you chip in."
  - Yeah, some people will take your directness and honesty as being mean, but those are the people that expect you to be a doormat. As long as you're not going around hurting feelings for breakfast, you're fine.
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Be energetic. There's something about being sassy that is intrinsically fun. It's happy, it's bouncy, it's fun, and it's full of energy.^{[4]
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Research source} If you're subdued, listless, and unenthusiastic, your sassiness could easily just get mistaken for cynicism. A pep to your step keeps your sassiness fun and enviable.
- The easiest way to seem energetic (without running around the room, which is not what we mean) is to be present. Instead of slouching over your phone and responding to questions with glazed-over looks or daydreaming in your own little world, get in the moment. Look at people when they talk and smile and nod. Ask questions. Joke around and flirt. Live in the moment.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Acting Sassy

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Have fun! This is a lot like the above step, but it doesn't hurt to have the reminder that being sassy is a lot about having fun. Why wouldn't you? You're confident, energetic, and cracking people up (even if it's just you). So don't be afraid to create an atmosphere of awesome, regardless of the situation. Because with the right outlook, everything is and you are, too.
- Seriously. Be that person that can have fun with anything. Did you get an extra-large slice of coffee cake at lunch today? SCORE. Uh oh. Did you spill that coffee cake on your shirt? Fashion show time! Stains are all the rage, you know. Is Becky looking at you funny, modeling your coffee cake stain? Just tell her if she can rock pit stains, you can rock the cake stains. (Said with a smile, of course.)
2
Make your presence known. You know those people that manage to have some sort of invisibility power? They can walk into any room, and practically no one notices? They stick to the wall, slink in and slink out, barely making a sound? Yeah, that's not you. You're too rambunctious for that. Being sassy is something everyone notices!
- So whether you're cracking jokes, telling stories, or putting on lunch-stain fashion shows, go for it. Don't shy away from all eyes being on you. And the best part? Your positive energy and vivaciousness will keep any party going. Not everybody can play that role!
3
Speak your mind. To be the sassy one, you'll be the one comfortable saying what everybody is thinking. You don't get embarrassed by telling it like it is -- good or bad. So many people are afraid to ask for what they want or to give even just their true thoughts on the matter. Not you!
- So when your teacher gives you three days to write that 5-page paper, you tell him that that's an illogical amount of time. When your crush tells a funny joke, you're not afraid to tell him how cute he is. And when your friend is wearing that pair of pants she should not be wearing, you tell her before anyone else notices.
4
Make your body language sassy, too. Since you're confident, vivacious, and bold, your body language needs to match. What does a sassy girl seem like with her mouth shut? Here's a couple things:
- Walk with your head high! Shoulders back and not slouching. Too much confidence for that!
- Don't shy away from eye contact. You've got things to say and other people do, too. Why not connect with them in the process?
- Be flirty. Smile, touch the person you're interested in, laugh -- you know how it goes.
- An eye roll or some other body equivalent (something like "talk to the hand," but less 1999) has its place in being sassy, too, but keep it to a minimum. That stuff gets negative pretty easily.
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Don't worry what others think. Just for the record, there's not a lot of room for it in the "being sassy" domain. Some people are going to find your behavior off-putting; if you're a woman, some fiercely believe that women should be quiet and shy. And in addition to that, some people may be very sensitive and find your tell-it-like-it-is mentality to be hurtful. This is going to happen. Listen to the remarks, sure. Some may have points. But if they don't, don't pay 'em any mind.^{[5]
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Research source}
- Being sassy is partly about knowing your audience. You may have a friend that can't handle your sarcasm or you poking fun at them. If that's the case, recognize this. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, no, but you should have to consider their feelings.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Increasing Your Sassy Factor

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Find a role model. Being sassy isn't exactly a stereotype that's easily accessible in modern society; however, that does seem to be slowly changing. There are more and more women in media who are stronger, bolder, and sassier by the minute. So find a role model and get some inspiration. Sometimes we need an example to follow!^{[6]
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- Prominent examples that come to mind? Beyoncé, Ke$ha, Rihanna, even Taylor Swift has her sassy moments. Kristen Wiig, Jennifer Lawrence, and Tina Fey are good, too. Though your Aunt Jean isn't a bad idea, either!
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Dress stylishly. If a hobo is sassy, she's just being insubordinate and might be a little drunk. But if a girl who's rocking the style is sassy, she's got the whole package. While it shouldn't have anything to do with the clothes you wear, it definitely helps. When your clothes have a punch of attitude, it'll be easier for you to feel the sass, too.
- "Stylishly" is obviously relative. If you're into the punk scene, you're not going to think haute couture is stylish. Trust whatever this word means to you. The important thing to take away from this is that your clothes have an effect on people -- including you. Can you imagine being sassy in a walrus outfit?
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Challenge your fears.^{[7]
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Research source} There is something about sassy that is unafraid. It's willing to go outside of the box and do whatever it takes. So if being confident is easy if speaking your mind is easy, take it to the next level and challenge your fears -- you'll be all the better for it. You'll be bolder and shine brighter. What's not to like?
- So whether it's public speaking, heights, or slugs, challenge yourself. You're not afraid of challenging others, right? You call 'em out, you tell it as it is, you're honest -- so you have to be honest with yourself, too. It's only fair!
  - Dunno where to start? How about wikiHow's How to Overcome Fear article?
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Try something new. Sassy people are dynamic and anything but boring. Since they can find joy and humor in just about anything, there's nothing they're not unwilling to try. So be the one in yoga class that also practices krav maga. Bring your ukulele to choir practice. Let your personality run free.^{[8]
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- Don't be surprised when everyone else starts doing krav maga or playing the uke, too. The sassy ones are often the trendsetters, doing what other people are often too afraid to do.

Warnings

Don't overdo it, or you might be thought rude or a bit of a diva!

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There will always be a few people who are easily offended, and will think of you as rude. Don't let it get to you or spoil your sass.

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Some people might get jealous and spread bad rumors about you, but don't let it bring you down. Sassy people don't care about what people think; they just want to have fun!

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