How to Ask a Guy to a Movie over Text

Co-authored by John Keegan and Eric McClure

Last Updated: May 28, 2022 References

A movie is a great choice for a first date. Watching something together gives the both of you stuff to talk about once the date is over, and a dark theatre can be the perfect place for some romantic hand holding and kissing if the date goes well! If you’ve been chatting with a guy casually, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking him out over text. Not only do guys appreciate someone asking them out for a change, but a movie date suggestion sent over text sends a really low-key vibe. If you want help figuring out exactly what you want to say, you’re in the right place!

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

1

Take a deep breath and relax.

You’ve got absolutely nothing to worry about here! Take a long, slow inhale through your nose, and breath out slowly through your mouth. It’s easy to let your thoughts run crazy on this one, but movie dates are super low key. Even if he does say no, what’s the worst that happens? The odds are you may be overthinking this one, so just hit send!^{[1]
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- It is totally normal to be a little anxious about asking someone out. Everyone in the entire history of people asking other people out feels the exact same way you do right now.
- It may help to remind yourself that hearing “no” is preferable to that lingering feeling of “what could have been.” Even if this doesn’t go the way you want it to, at least you can move on.

2

Give yourself a confidence boost if you need one.

If you just can’t push yourself to send the text, that’s okay. It’s scary to ask a guy out when you don’t know what they’re going to say, but don’t talk yourself out of it. Instead, do something that makes you feel like the best version of you. Remind yourself that you’re a catch and that he’d be lucky to go out with you.^{[2]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.} You could also:
- Start listing things you’re thankful for. When you express gratitude for what you do have, the things you don’t have won’t seem so scary.^{[3]
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- Repeat a positive mantra, like, “I am safe. I can do this,” over and over again.^{[4]
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  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- Strike a few power poses in the mirror. It sounds silly, but it’s scientifically proven to work!^{[5]
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  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

3

Pick a fun, low-key movie to invite him to.

Check your local theatre listings to see what’s playing. You don’t want to suggest a movie date and then have no movie in mind! Poke around online to see what’s playing near you. Try to pick something fun and playful to see that will interest both of you.^{[6]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.}
- Take your shared interests into account. If both of you really enjoy sports and there’s a new biopic out about a famous basketball player, choose that!
- Romantic comedies are always a safe bet for a date. In fact, any comedy should make a solid date movie if the two of you have been throwing jokes back and forth over text.
- Horror movies are a good choice if you want an “excuse” to hold him tight or lean against his shoulder.
- If you want some privacy in the theatre to do some potential smooching, pick a movie that isn’t super popular right now, or go really late at night on a weekday.

4

Flirt and chat a bit over text to build up to the question.

If you’re trying to feel things out, drop some subtle hints while you chat. After you open up with the standard, “Hey!” or, “How are you?” try to guide the conversation towards a more playful and flirtatious place. Send him a photo to ask him what he thinks of your outfit, or throw out a cute gif with some flirty undertones. Feel free to include a flirty emoji here or there as you see fit!^{[7]
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Research source} You might also try something like:
- “I’m excited to see you at school this week. I have so much to tell you about my weekend!”
- “I saw that photo you just posted on Instagram. That’s a really cute outfit.”
- If you aren’t ready to flirt yet, that’s totally fine. Just have a conversation. Ask him how his day was or talk about something both of you care about. Just let things develop organically.

5

Ask him out on the date.

Figure out how you want to ask him out and draft the message. There is absolutely nothing wrong with keeping things casual on this one. It’s a movie, not a vacation to Europe! Play it smooth and spend a minute or two crafting your message. Don’t feel weird about making the first move either; guys actually really like that.^{[8]
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Research source} You could say:
- “Hey, sorry if this is really forward, but do you want to see a movie with me this week?”
- “Look, I think you’re cute. If you think I’m cute, we should catch a movie sometime.”
- “Are you into scary movies? I want to see that new horror movie but I don’t have any cute guys to take me!”
- “I know you mentioned you love superhero movies. Do you want to go see that new Batman movie with me?”
- “Hey, I think we’ve got some great chemistry here. Want to see a movie with me this weekend? If not, no worries.”

6

Get excited and work out the details if he accepts.

If he’s in, let him know you’re amped (but don’t overdo it). Don’t make a big deal out of it or anything, but text him back to let him know you’re happy and work out a time and date. Then, continue casually chatting. The movie date is a super low-key option, so just play it cool and smooth. If there’s a bunch of time in between now and your movie date, just keep in touch and talk to him like you normally would.^{[9]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.}
- If he immediately throws out a different suggestion for the movie, just go with it.
- You might try adding a fun twist to your plans. For example, you could suggest the two of you hatch a plan to smuggle your own snacks and drinks inside. Alternatively, you could just play it safe and suggest hitting the theatre’s arcade up before the date.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.}

7

Keep it cool if he says no.

If he isn’t ready for anything and he declines your date, play it off. Even if you feel like a knot developing in your gut, respect his decision.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.} It sucks hearing that someone isn’t on board with seeing you for a date, but at least you took your chance! Keep your head high and type out your response. There’s someone out there for you.^{[12]
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Research source} You might say:
- “I totally get it. No worries. I hope we can still be friends!”
- “I understand. I’ve definitely gone through periods where I didn’t want to date anyone either, so I get it.”

8

Don’t freak out if he doesn’t respond right away.

He might be busy, or he may be figuring out how to respond. In either case, don’t text him 3-4 times while you’re waiting for the response. It just might come off the wrong way if you overdo it with a bunch of texts. Asking a guy out on a movie date over text is all about keeping things casual and low-stress, so don’t freak out! Take a breather, put the phone down, and just wait!^{[13]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 18 November 2019.}
- If it’s been more than 24 hours and you know he’s not out of the country or something like that, feel free to shoot him another text. Just don’t be accusational or anything; a gif of someone checking their watch is a fun way to send the message.

9

Text him after the movie if you had a good time.

If your date goes well, shoot him a text when you get home! This is a great way to get a read on how he felt, and if there was any chemistry there, it’s a great way to set up a second date. A lot of people get hung up on when to do this. Setting some arbitrary time rule is just pointless, so text him when you get home, or early the next morning.^{[14]
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Research source} You might say:
- “I had a super fun time with you last night. That ending was nuts! I still can’t get over it”
- “Hey cutie! Had fun tonight. Would love to catch another movie or grab dinner next week if you're up to it :)”
- “I just got home! Thank you for the wonderful night. I hope we can do it again if you’re interested.”

Warnings

Avoid choosing a movie for your date that has the potential to be depressing. A date is not the ideal place to be checking out a movie about an old man struggling with dementia.

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