How to Ask Your Crush to Be Your Valentine

Co-authored by Crista Beck and Amber Crain

Last Updated: February 12, 2023 Approved

If you've been crushing on someone hard and Valentine's Day is coming up, this might be the perfect opportunity to let them know how you feel. Ask them to be your valentine! You can make a card, leave a note, bake heart-shaped cookies or just come right out and say it—there are lots of different ways! Go with whatever feels natural to you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making a Card

1
Create a handmade card. You can go all out and make something elaborate, or you can keep it simple – it's up to you!^{[1]
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Expert Source

Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 26 August 2021.} It's what you say in the card that matters. If you aren't very artistic, get a piece of red construction paper, fold it in half and use that as your card. You can also draw, paint, or even make a collage on it. Get creative!
- If you know your crush likes a certain animal or activity, you can draw or make a collage based on that.
- Your card doesn't have to be handmade, although your crush might find it particularly sweet if it is.^{[2]
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  Crista Beck
  Dating Coach & Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 26 August 2021.}
2
Write a simple message. You can write a long note anytime, but if you just want to ask your sweetie to be your valentine, write something simple in your card. For example, you could say “Would you be…” on the front of the card, then write “…my valentine?” on the inside.
- You could also write “Just wanted to know…” on the outside and on the inside say, “Will you be my valentine?”
- For a little something extra, you could add a compliment like “You look nice today.”
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3
Sign your card. If you want your crush to know it's you right away, sign your name on the inside. To be a little more mysterious, sign the card as “Your Secret Admirer” or “Your Hopeful Valentine.”
- You don't have to write “Love” or anything serious like that if you don't want to! You could put “xo” which means “hugs and kisses.”
- For example, you could write: “Dear Helen, Will you be my Valentine? If yes, please meet me at the park at 4:00. xoxo, Jane.”
4
Give the card to your crush. If you're feeling brave, you can always walk right up to your crush and hand them the card. However, it's pretty normal to feel shy about it, so you don't have to do it that way. You can always leave the note somewhere they'll be sure to find it.
- For example, you could put it in their locker, slip it in their backpack when they aren't looking, or put it in one of their text books.
- For an extra special touch, you can leave a single flower with the note. Roses are popular, but you don't have to be that traditional.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Giving a Gift

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Give your crush candy. You can sweeten up your crush's day with a box of Valentine's candy, like a heart-shaped box of chocolates. If you're not comfortable asking your crush to be your Valentine in person, you can tuck a short note in the box or packaging for them to read later.
- For something a little more creative, use candy "conversation" hearts to write your note.^{[4]
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- Make sure that your crush isn't allergic to the candy. For example, they're allergic to peanuts or milk, avoid anything that contains nuts or chocolate.
- If you really want to make an impression, then choose a candy that your crush likes—even if it's not directly related to Valentine's day.
2
Make your crush a mix CD or special Spotify playlist. Instead of sending your crush a traditional card, burn them a CD of sweet songs that make you think of them. If CDs aren't really your thing, curate a Spotify playlist for them instead! Include the track list and make special art for it. If you're not comfortable explaining your gift in person, include a note (with the CD) or send them a message (with a link to your playlist) and ask them to be your Valentine.^{[5]
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- If you are musically gifted, you could write and record a song for them, and include that as the last track.
- You could also use a voice recording app to record yourself asking them to be your valentine, and put that in the playlist.
3
Bake them cookies. Your crush will appreciate that you took the time to make them something, and if you're low on cash, this might be a good solution! If you know their favorite kind of cookie, get a recipe for it and make those. If you don't, you usually can't go wrong with chocolate chip or sugar cookies. You could even make them heart-shaped!^{[6]
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- Add a note with the cookies asking them to be your Valentine.
- You could also use icing to write it out on the cookies.
- Double-check your crush's food allergies. You don't want to give them something that they can't enjoy, after all!
4
Bring them a stuffed animal. If you know your crush loves cats or monkeys, take advantage of that! Most stores will have a whole aisle dedicated to Valentine's Day gifts, and there are usually plenty of plushies to choose from. What you choose doesn't necessarily have to be an animal. There are plush versions of everything!
- For example, if your crush plays basketball, look for a plush basketball.
- To get the conversation started, hand them the plush toy and smile. Say something simple like, “I saw this and it made me think of you.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Asking in Person

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Wait for a good opportunity. Try not to corner your crush or force them to talk with you if they are in a hurry or busy doing something. Wait for a good time to talk to them about it. Since they're your crush, you probably know when they have a little free time during the day.^{[7]
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- For example, if your crush is chatting with a big group of friends or working on their homework, that's probably not a good time.
2
Pull your crush aside. It will be a lot easier to talk to them in private, plus your crush might get embarrassed if you ask in front of everyone! Meet them at their locker in the morning before class, or walk with them to one of their classes. Before or after lunch might also be a good time. Start up a normal chat, and then bring it up.
- If you two share an inside joke or particular interest, start off the conversation with that.^{[8]
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Go for it. Valentine's Day is all about sharing how you feel. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just go for it. You don't even have to make any grand gestures; you can keep it simple!^{[9]
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Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 26 August 2021.}
- You could open with: “So I was wondering…” and then phrase it however you want.
- You could also start off with “So today is Valentine's day…” and give them a big smile.
4
Send a text or instant message. If you're too shy to ask in person, this is the next best thing. Keep your message short and sweet. If you want to, you could even add an emoji like a smiley face or heart after your message to keep everything feeling lighthearted.
- If you're friends on Facebook or Instagram, you could also send them a private message there.
- For example, you could write “I really like you. Would you be my valentine?”

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you say hi in a cute way?

Crista Beck
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Crista Beck is a Dating and Relationship Coach and Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping people become open to love and find a partner. Crista has been featured in numerous media sources such as ABC, NBC, Fox, and TEDx. She is also the author of the book, Break The Glass Slipper: Free Yourself from Fairy Tale Fantasies and Find True Love in Real Life. Crista holds a BS in Communication Studies with a focus on Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin.

Crista Beck

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

If your crush drives a car, you could see if there's a lot of dust on his windshield. If there is, you could write a message in the dirt with your finger.
Question

What if his actions indicate that he likes you and then he says "no"?

Community Answer

It sounds like your crush is being a little misleading. Don't settle for someone that takes advantage of you. Instead, hold out for a guy that truly wants to hold your hand AND be your Valentine.
Question

How do I know if my crush likes me?

Community Answer

The best way to find out is to ask your crush directly. Alternatively, you can have a friend find out for you.