10+ of the Best Deep Conversation Topics for Friends

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: September 2, 2021 References

If you want to get to know your friends better, dive into some deep conversation topics instead of keeping things surface-level. You can learn a lot about your friends and their perspectives by asking each other deep questions. Just remember to respect everyone's opinions, even if they disagree with your own. Below we've put together a list of some deep conversation topics and deep questions to ask your friends. Try bringing a few of these up at your next dinner party or get-together for a fun, honest conversation that will bring your friend group closer.

1

The meaning of life

It sounds cliché, but this topic can really spark a conversation.^{[1]
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Research source} Ask your friends what they think the meaning of life is and how they’ve come to that conclusion. You might be surprised: answers vary a lot depending on age, religion, and monetary status.
- You could simply ask, “What do you think the meaning of life is?”
- Or, you could propose it by saying, “I think the meaning of life is forming relationships with other human beings. What do you all think?”

2

Religion

Whether you’re religious or not, this can be an interesting subject. Talk about why you’re religious, why you’re not, or why you’ve changed your faith recently. Try to have an open and honest conversation, and be respectful so you don’t offend any of your friends.^{[2]
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- For example, you could say, “I was raised Christian, but now I’m agnostic. How about you?”
- Or, “How do you think your childhood influenced your faith?”

3

Finances

It might sound awkward, but talking about money is important. Check in with your friends to see how they’re doing money-wise and what kind of budgeting tips they might have. You never know: you might just learn something new!^{[3]
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- For example, you could say, “My savings have taken a bit of a hit since I’ve been laid off. How about you all?”
- Or, “I finally saved up enough money for a down payment—it took forever! Do you have any goals for your money?”

4

Human psychology

We’re all human, and it’s interesting to learn more about ourselves. If you read an interesting article or book on human nature or behavior, bring it up to discuss it with your friends. You can talk about popular theories and your opinions on them with the group.^{[4]
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- For example, try saying, “Did you hear that scientists now think wearing red makes you more attractive?”
- Or, “Do you think that opposites attract? Personally, I think partners who have the same interests are better suited for each other.”

5

Happiest memory

Bring the mood up by asking everyone to share a great memory. You can learn more about what your friends value, and you might hear some fun stories, too! Pick a memory from childhood or your adult life to share and make your friends smile.^{[5]
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- Say something like, “What’s a memory that still makes you laugh?”
- Or, “What was the happiest day of your life?”

6

Stress and anxiety

Check in with your friends to see how they’re really doing. If any of you have been stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed lately, you can talk about it with each other. Sometimes you might just need to vent, while other times you can ask your friends for advice and opinions.^{[6]
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- You can bring this up by saying something like, “I know work’s been stressful for you lately. How are you handling it?”
- Or, “I’ve been kind of anxious the last few months. Anyone else?”

7

Advice

Is there anything you’re struggling with in your life right now? Try asking your friends for their help with a problem. Not only will you get some solid advice, your friends will probably feel honored that you asked. Try things like:^{[7]
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- “I’m having trouble making time for my relationship. What do you all think I should do?”
- “I really want to quit my job, but I’m nervous that I won’t be able to find a new one. If you were me, what would you do?”

8

Political opinions

If your friend group has differing opinions, this conversation can get deep. Bring up recent events to talk about what’s going on in the world and what you think about it. Use caution, though: this topic has the potential to get people really fired up.^{[8]
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- You could say something like, “How do you think the President is doing so far?”
- Or, “Did you cast your ballot yet?”

9

Something embarrassing

This can help bring you and your friends closer together. Do you have a guilty pleasure TV show that you can’t stop binge-watching? Do you get jealous of other people’s achievements? Share some insights with your friends, then open the floor up to them.^{[9]
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- Say something like, “I’ll admit it: I was kinda jealous when Kristine landed that awesome photography gig.”
- Or, “I got pulled over for speeding last night. When’s the last time you got a ticket?”

10

Hobbies

Take a deep dive into what your friends like to do for fun. Most of the time, people keep the discussion of their hobbies at a surface level (because they don’t want to bore you). Encourage your friends to talk about what they’ve been doing to learn more about their lives.^{[10]
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- Say something like, “Zack, I hear you’ve been woodworking a lot lately! How’s that been going?”
- Or, “Diana, your kayaking trips always look so fun. Do you think your skills have improved since you’ve started?”

11

Celebrity culture

This is a great one if your friends are into celebrity news. Instead of talking about the latest hot gossip, try asking how they think celebrity culture has influenced society. Dive deep into talking about social media, paparazzi, and how average people see themselves in comparison.^{[11]
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- For example, you could say, “It’s weird how much our daily news cycle focuses on celebrities now, huh? It never used to be that way.”
- Or, “Do you think social media influencers are promoting unhealthy body images in young people?”

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I be a better listener with my friends?

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Psychotherapist

Expert Answer

Try reflecting listening, where you repeat back what the other person said. That not only validates the other person, but it also helps you make sure you're understanding what they're really saying.