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This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
The wikiHow Tech Team also followed the article's instructions and verified that they work.
This article has been viewed 236,726 times.
It’s a new year again and the chances of meeting someone new are high. Here are some new year tips to assist your online dating experience to ensure you are safe online dating.
Steps
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1Refrain from providing your personal contact details on your profile. Providing your home details i.e. phone number and address on your profile is an easy way for someone to track down where you live or work. Therefore, in the initial stages of online dating keep your personal information to yourself. Once you get to know your date you can determine how much information you would like to provide. Remember, even by discovering your first and last name you can be tracked on social websites. Therefore, try to create a “tag” or nickname that you can use on dating sites.[1] In terms of phone communication, see tip 4.
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2Trust your instincts.[2] Sometimes you just know when something is not right! It is always important to use common sense, as your instinct is a powerful tool when dating and great way to measure when to build a relationship or turn and run. As you begin to read personal profiles, respond to emails or speak on the phone your instincts will help tell you if something is right or not. If you are in any doubt, be careful, back off, or proceed carefully![3]
- Keep in mind that some scammers will play on your sympathy. For instance, a common tactic is for someone to say their spouse died and they have a child, then they'll either directly or indirectly ask you for money.[4]
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3Use free email accounts. Should you decide to move your date from the anonymous email provided by the majority of online dating services i.e. chocolate lover@oceanlovers.co.uk to providing an email address that isn't your regular one. Sign up for a free Gmail, Outlook.com, or Yahoo!, account that you use just for online dating. Don't put your full name in the “from” field, only your first name or your “tag”. This will protect you from anyone trying to search your normal email address to find out more information about you on social websites.[5]
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4Use an anonymous phone service to chat via your mobile. When it's time to move your communication to the next level (talking on the phone), never give out your home or work phone number. Either provide a cell phone number, use Skype to communicate, or use an anonymous phone service such as Paginglist.com. It’s just an added protection barrier until you get to know the person better.
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5Look for questionable characteristics. As you chat on the phone or via email you may be able to start to pick out characteristics of the other person. Do they seem to be short tempered? Are they controlling?[6] Do they avoid some of your questions? Ask how long ago was their last relationship and how long did it last? If you ask a range of questions can tell you if they are Mr or Mrs Right or if it's time to move on.[7] But try not to be too personal too soon as you don’t want to scare them off!
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6Request a recent photo. If your contact does not have a photo on their profile request a recent one. It's important for you to get a good look at the person you may eventually meet. Plus your instincts from your communications and their photos may provide you with valuable insight into the person. If a person lies about their photo or profile then that is a red flag to no longer pursue the relationship.
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7Use paid online dating services. Free online dating services provide a greater opportunity for potentially dangerous individuals. They don't ever have to provide a credit card or other information that identifies them. There is definitely truth to the saying, "you get what you pay for". Use safe dating websites recommendations on facebook or twitter. Alternatively search online for recommended sites from dating magazines.
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8When you first meet ensure you visit a public place. When it's time to meet up arrange to meet in a public place and provide your own transportation. Never accept an offer to be picked up from your house on the first date. Make sure you tell someone ie a friend, where you are going. Your first meeting will tell you a great deal about the other person. Be thinking about what questions to ask your date on route![8]
- Don't give out your address, even if you decide to meet in person. Have your first date in a public place, and don't invite the person to your home until you know them better.[9]
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you know if you are being scammed on a dating site?
Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistWatch out for people who just seem to be wasting time. If they haven't asked for your phone number or tried to arrange to meet after about 3 email exchanges, they could be a scammer who has no intention of meeting you in person. -
QuestionCan you trust online dating?Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistAlways take extra precautions and use your best judgment. Before you go on a date with someone you met online, be sure to tell a friend where you'll be going. If you have a picture of the person, give that to your friend, as well. -
QuestionHow can I stay safe if I'm dating online?Collette GeeCollette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention SpecialistDon't give out any personal information, like your home address or your work number. Don't share nude pictures with anyone, and avoid profiles that mention sex. Also, watch out for scammers who will play on your sympathy to get you to send them money.
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Warnings
- Do NOT put all your information, you don't want unwanted people knowing all your personals. If you are interested in someone on the website, and you want to get to know each other, private message each other.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References
- ↑ https://www.getsafeonline.org/social-networking/online-dating/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-path-passionate-happiness/201505/3-reasons-why-you-have-trust-your-gut
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-prime/201107/common-sense-is-neither-common-nor-sense
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.pcmag.com/article/331733/how-to-create-an-anonymous-email-account
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/lizryan/2016/01/01/five-habits-of-controlling-people/#5bb9c71a203e
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-closeness/201603/4-ways-figure-out-if-youre-the-right-person-or-not
- ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-stay-safe-when-meeting-someone-from-the-internet-1040400781
- ↑ Collette Gee. Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist. Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.
About This Article
Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
This article was co-authored by Collette Gee. Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN. This article has been viewed 236,726 times.
Co-authors: 36
Updated: October 14, 2022
Views: 236,726
Categories: Online Dating | Online Dating Services
Article SummaryX
Online dating can feel a little scary, but you can do it safely by taking basic precautions. When you fill out your profile, avoid sharing your contact information or any other details about where you live and work. You can even set up an email account just to use on the dating site. As you interact with potential matches, trust your instincts. If you’re getting a bad feeling from somebody, be careful, or avoid interacting with them altogether. When you’re ready to chat over the phone, consider using an anonymous calling app, like Viber. Always arrange to meet for the first time in a public place, like a restaurant or public park. Let someone know where you’re going, and arrange for your own transportation. For more expert tips, like how to spot red flags in a dating site profile, read on!
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