How to Tell Your Parents You're Moving out of Home

Co-authored by wikiHow Staff

Last Updated: February 4, 2021 Approved

Telling your parents that you're moving out may seem like a difficult task. There's the potential for a lot of hurt feelings. If approach the topic carefully however, you can make the whole process easier on everybody.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Choosing the Right Time and Place

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Think things through. Your parents are going to have a lot of concerns about you leaving and will ask a ton of questions. Here are some things you’ll want to consider that will definitely be on their minds:^{[1]
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Choose a sensible location. Whether you’re planning to move close to home or far away, your parents will still want to know all about it.
- Don't settle on the first place you find. Shop around and make sure that you find the best place for you and take your parents with you so they feel more included in the whole process.
- It may be a nice place on the inside, but learn what you can about the neighborhood, too. You'll be glad you did.
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Find out everything you can about your roommates. If you are going to have a roommate, is it someone they’ve met?^{[2]
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- If not, schedule an introduction to alleviate the stress that you may be living with a stranger.
- Make sure you know enough about your roommate's lifestyle and financial situation to be able to judge whether there is a good fit between you.
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Be certain your finances are in order. Moving can be very expensive, but don’t just think about the move. Your parents will want to know how you plan to support yourself over time. Be sure you’ve thought this through.^{[3]
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- Make sure you have a steady source of income
- Most places will require you to pay first and last month's rent, plus a deposit, upon moving in, so be sure to save up.
- Movers can be expensive, and so can renting a van. It's always handy if you can get friends to help, but make sure you do something nice in return.
- You have to make sure all of your utilities get turned on right away. This also costs money and may require deposits as well.
- Don't forget about the little things. All the small household items that you may have taken for granted won't just be there waiting for you. The little things add up!
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Plan for transportation in your new home. You need to be able to get around on your own. Do you have a car or a bike, or will you be taking public transportation?
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Think about the lifestyle you plan to have. Above all else, your parents will want you to be healthy and happy. It may sound trivial, but consider things like diet, cleanliness, hygiene and personal wellness.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Having the Conversation

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Pick a good moment. When you’ve done the legwork and believe that you’re ready to tell your parents that you're moving out, pick a moment when you’ll be able to have a full discussion about it.^{[4]
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Stay firm. In the event that they push back, stand by your decision. Let them know that the time has come for you to move on. But to avoid turning it into an argument, try to:^{[5]
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- Be open and honest about your motivations to move out.
- Speak clearly and confidently about your plans. This will not only make the conversation easier, but it will further demonstrate how much you’ve thought about the situation.
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Consider their feelings. Even though they may accept the fact that it’s time for you to move on, they’ll be sad to see you go. Demonstrate that you’ve been thinking about them, too.^{[6]
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- Tell them that you love them.
- Promise that you’ll be in touch as often as you can.^{[7]
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- Assure them that you won’t forget about birthdays, family events, special occasions, etc.
- Thank them for everything they've done for you.

Community Q&A

Question

How can I talk to my parents about moving out?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

One of the biggest factors is timing. Choosing the right time to talk to them can make a huge difference. If you're ready to make your move, wait until they're free to have an actual conversation about it. After dinner in the evening or right when they get home from work may be a good moment. If you can't seem to catch them at a good time, try telling them that you need to talk to them about something. Ask them when they have a moment to talk to you. They may be able to set aside some time so you can talk to them about how you feel and what your plans are.
Question

What should I do if I want to move out?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

If you're really set on moving out of your home, there are definitely a few things you'll want to take care of before you go. For starters, you'll have to have a place lined up so you can go somewhere and have a place to live and sleep. You'll also want to have some money set aside for it. Moving can be expensive and you may have new bills and expenses where you're going. If you can, try to save up for a security deposit and rent for 1 month so you're able to move into a place. You may also want to have a job lined up so you can support yourself.
Question

What age is a good age to move out of your parents' house?

Drew Hawkins1

Community Answer

The truth is it can vary from person to person and situation to situation. Living at your parents' house can be a great way to save up some money so you can buy your own home or afford rent somewhere else. It's really not unusual for some people to live at their parents' house until their 30s. However, if you aren't happy with the living arrangements or living situation at your home, you may be thinking about moving out sooner. If that's the case, many states allow minors to leave their parents' home and live on their own at age 16 or 17. Look up your local laws regarding the age you're allowed to emancipate yourself from your parents care and live on your own if you're thinking of doing so.

Warnings

Bills can pile up. Make sure you stay on top of your finances so that you don't miss payments or get penalized on any accounts.

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Things You May Need

Seeing as how this is your first apartment, you may need a co-signer on the lease. Typically this will either be your parents or your roommates parents.
A steady job or reliable source of income.
A car or other method of transportation.