How to Talk to a Boy on FaceTime

Co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: June 4, 2022 References

Talking to a boy in person is one thing, but chatting over FaceTime can be a whole new (and nerve-wracking) experience. However, it doesn't have to be! By preparing ahead of time and keeping a few key points in mind, you can have a fun, lively conversation with a boy over FaceTime.

1

Head to a quiet, private place.

There’s nothing worse than trying to FaceTime someone with an audience. If you’re at home, go into your room and shut the door so you won’t be interrupted. Let the people you live with know that you’re busy, so they should wait until later before barging in. Make sure your background looks appealing, and turn off anything that makes noise, like the TV or a radio.^{[1]
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- If you’re out and about, try going somewhere that’s a little secluded, like a park. Stay away from anywhere too loud, like a crowded coffee shop or restaurant.

2

Come up with a few conversation topics ahead of time.

You’ll feel much less nervous if you already know what to chat about. Before you FaceTime with a boy, spend a few minutes thinking of some things to say. You don’t have to write them down, but just keep them in mind in case there’s ever an awkward pause. That way, you’ll feel more confident and prepared to tackle this FaceTime hang.^{[2]
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- Think about the background info you already know about this boy for some good conversation topics. Does he have pets? Does he play sports? Do you two go to the same school together? Does he have any siblings? Any and all of these can be used to spark a conversation!

3

Give him a few compliments.

Start your FaceTime off right by telling him how good he looks. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and it’s a good way to flirt a little (if that’s what you’re trying to do). Take note of his clothing, his hair, or his smile and give him a quick compliment! Stick to one or two compliments throughout the FaceTime hang so you don’t go overboard. Try something like:^{[3]
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- “That shirt really brings out the blue in your eyes.”
- “Your hair looks so nice! Did you get a haircut?”
- “You have the best laugh.”

4

Ask about school or his hobbies.

These are easy conversation topics that you can bring up from the start. If you two go to the same school, see how classes are going for him. If he goes to a different school, ask him what it’s like there. You can also ask him about what he likes to do for fun or how he spends his free time to get to know him more.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}
- Try something like, “How’s school going? I’m having a tough time adjusting after summer break.”
- Or, “What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?”

5

Try a few fun hypotheticals.

A rousing game of “would you rather” can make you giggle up a storm. If you run out of things to say, try coming up with a crazy hypothetical situation for him to answer. Don’t make it anything too serious, and stick to light, funny topics so he knows you’re joking. Don’t be afraid to answer the question yourself, too! You could try something like:^{[5]
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- “Would you rather eat pizza for every meal or drink a glass of milk with every meal?”
- “Would you rather fight 10 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?”
- “Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island or only watch reality TV for the rest of your life?”

6

See if he has plans for the weekend.

This is an easy way to start some small talk. If he’s got something exciting coming up, he can tell you all about it! If he doesn’t have any plans, you can ask him what he did last weekend instead. Then, you can tell him if you have any fun plans for the weekend (or you can make some together). Say something like:^{[6]
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- “Any fun plans this weekend?”
- “What are you doing on Friday night?”

7

Talk about music, TV shows, or movies.

See if any of your interests in media overlap. If you’ve watched anything new recently, tell him about it to see if he’s heard of it. If he hasn’t, ask him what he’s been watching and if there’s anything good you should see. Or, talk about a new band you just discovered or a concert you went to. Try something like:^{[7]
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- “Have you seen that new documentary on Netflix about polar bears?”
- “I just got tickets to go see my favorite band, I’m so excited.”

8

Ask about his family.

You can learn a lot about someone by learning about their family. If he has any siblings, see if he’s close to them or if they ever hang out. You can also ask about his parents and what they do for work or how much time he spends with them. This is a great way to start a slightly deeper conversation without going overboard. Say something like:^{[8]
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- “What do your parents do?”
- “Do you like hanging out with your little brother?”
- “Is your older sister cool?”

9

Talk about his relationship status.

If you want to get flirty, now’s your chance. You might already know whether or not he’s single, but it’s always good to double check. Ask him if he likes being single or whether he’d prefer to be in a relationship. If he says he’s open to dating someone, that’s a good sign! If not, that’s okay too—he might just not be ready yet. Ask something like:^{[9]
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- “Are you enjoying the single life?”
- “How’s your love life?”
- “Any romantic interests going on lately?”

10

See what he does to relax.

It’s fun to talk about self-care practices and stress relievers. If he’s in school or has a job, he might need some quiet time to himself to wind down. You can ask him what he does to stay stress-free, and then you can share your own helpful tips, too. Say something like:^{[10]
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- “What’s your favorite way to wind down at the end of the day?”
- “How do you relieve stress?”
- “Have you done any self-care recently?”

11

Swap embarrassing stories.

Get a fun conversation going with some silly memories. Ask him what his most embarrassing memory from school was, or tell him your own to get him to chuckle. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but it’s a good way to get to know each other more in a fun, goofy way. You could also talk about your most recent embarrassing moment or something from your childhood.^{[11]
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- Bring it up by saying something like: “What’s something really embarrassing that happened to you as a kid? Mine was when I accidentally called my teacher Mom. The whole class laughed at me!”

12

Make eye contact as much as you can.

Try to look at the camera, not at the screen. Although it can feel a little funny, looking into the camera will make it seem like you’re making eye contact with him. The more eye contact you can make, the more of a connection you’re forming.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Plus, making eye contact is a subtle way to let someone know you’re into them, so it’s a nice way to flirt even though you aren’t together in person.
- It can be tough to look into the camera for the entire video chat. Try to look at the camera while he’s talking, then switch to looking at the screen when you say something.

13

Smile at him.

Your body language says a lot about you. When you’re FaceTime hanging with someone, they can only really see your face and maybe your hands. Try to smile and laugh as much as possible so he knows you’re enjoying your time together. Laugh at his jokes to let him know you think he’s fun to hang out with.^{[13]
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- If he smiles back at you, it’s a good sign that he might like you, too.

14

Put on lip balm or lip gloss.

It might sound silly, but it draws attention to your lips. Grab your favorite plain lip balm or shiny lip gloss and apply it at least once while you’re on FaceTime. Not only will it freshen and moisturize your lips, but it might just get him thinking about your mouth. This is a nice, subtle way to flirt with someone when you aren’t together in person.^{[14]
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- Try to only do this once or twice throughout your video call, otherwise it could look a little silly.

15

Be yourself.

Above all, it’s important to just be you. Even though you might be nervous to talk to a boy on FaceTime, confidence is key! The goal of the video chat is to get to know each other more, so make sure you’re being your authentic self. It’s fine to be a little more lively or upbeat than you usually are, but don’t go so far that you forget who you are entirely.^{[15]
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- This is especially important if you like this boy or you want to ask him out later. The more he gets to know the real you, the better your future relationship will be.