How to Show Your Girlfriend You Trust Her

Co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: October 5, 2021 References

Trust is an invaluable part of any relationship. When you offer the gift of trust, you’re actually building the foundation for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. While you can’t wrap up this present or tie it in a bow, there are plenty of ways to show your girlfriend that you trust her completely. Not to worry—we’ve put together plenty of easy tips and suggestions to help you get started.

1

Respect her privacy.

Don’t look through your GF’s things without her permission. If you have a question, ask her directly—don’t expect to find the answers stashed away in her bag or text messages.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} Setting healthy boundaries is a great way to show your girlfriend that you trust her.^{[2]
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- Setting up clear boundaries and ground rules is also a great way to foster respect, support, and clear communication in the future. Besides asking permission, you could set boundaries about spending money and giving each other enough breathing room.^{[3]
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2

Give her space when she wants it.

A healthy, trusting relationship shouldn’t require constant check-ins. Give her plenty of breathing room, whether she’s spending the night at home or going out with her besties.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} If you truly trust your girlfriend, you don’t need to know what she’s up to 24/7. In fact, giving each other alone time is a sure sign that you’re in a healthy, trusting relationship.^{[5]
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- Supportive texts like “Have a great time!” or “Tell Kim and Lisa that I said hi!” are totally fine to send.
- If she’s spending a night in, you could leave her alone for the night and then text her the next morning.

3

Ask her to plan your next outing.

Resist the temptation to plan every date and outing yourself. Making all the decisions starts to send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend’s judgment. The next time you get together, ask her to choose your outing instead. You might say:^{[6]
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- “You have the best taste in restaurants. Where do you wanna eat tomorrow?”
- “What movie do you want to see this Friday?”
- “What do you want to do this weekend?”

4

Offer some breathing room when you go out.

You don’t have to be attached at the hip when you go out together. It’s great to enjoy some drinks and grab a dance with your GF, but you shouldn’t act like her second shadow. Let her mix and mingle to her heart’s content without complaining about who she’s spending time with. If you really trust her, it won’t matter who she talks to or hangs out with throughout the night.^{[7]
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- If you’re at a party, you could mingle with some friends while she heads to the dance floor.
- If you’re at a group date, you might sit across from a friend instead of sitting across from her.

5

Refrain from jumping to conclusions.

Trust your girlfriend by not assuming the worst. Maybe you found a strange receipt laying around, or your GF got home from work later than usual. Instead of assuming the worst, trust that your girlfriend isn’t up to any funny business. Besides, launching into a full-scale interrogation will definitely prove that you don’t trust her.^{[8]
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- Try to put yourself in her shoes, too. If you had to stay late at work, you wouldn’t want to be bombarded with distrustful texts.
- If you do decide to talk to her, strike up the conversation while you’re calm and relaxed. An angry conversation won’t get you very far.^{[9]
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  New York State Government
  Official website for the State of New York
  Go to source}

6

Say what’s on your mind.

Trust that she’ll be able to handle whatever you have to say. Perhaps you’re having a bad day, or you’re feeling extra self-conscious about something. Instead of bottling up those feelings inside, share them with your girlfriend.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist
Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.} By being open and honest, you’re trusting that she’ll listen to you without dismissing your concerns. You might say:^{[11]
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- “We haven’t spent as much time together lately, and I’m worried that I did something wrong.”
- “I feel self-conscious whenever we go out together.”

7

Share a secret.

Making yourself a little vulnerable shows her that you trust her. Opening up can be really tricky, but it’s one of the easiest ways to show your girlfriend that you trust her. Let her in on something you’ve never told anyone before. By being a little vulnerable, you’re trusting that she won’t share your secret with anyone else. You could mention:^{[12]
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- An embarrassing memory from your childhood
- Something you feel guilty about
- Your deepest fear

8

Be honest about what you’re up to.

Lies and half-truths do nothing to foster trust. If your girlfriend asks you something, do your best to answer her honestly. You don’t have to rattle off some 2-paragraph response—just answer her questions, so there isn’t any room for doubt.^{[13]
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Research source} If you feel like you need to hide something that's perfectly innocent from your girlfriend, it shows that you don't really trust her to believe you.
- If she asks who you’re texting, you might say, “Andrea from work” or “my sister.”
- If she’s curious about why you got home so late, you could say, “I ran into traffic” or “I bumped into Jess in the parking lot and we talked for 45 minutes straight.”

9

Tell her your passwords.

Giving her the keys to your digital life requires a lot of trust. The idea isn't to give her your passwords so she can check up on you, though! It's more about you being willing to share them with her in the first place. You're trusting her with this sensitive information with the expectation that she won't read through your emails, texts, and DMs.^{[14]
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- Start by sharing something small, like the password to your Facebook or Twitter account. Then, work your way up to sharing something a little more personal, like your email or online bank account.
- Wait until your relationship feels long-term before sharing anything super personal like your passwords.

10

Keep your phone out in the open.

Hiding your phone won’t accomplish anything good. Instead, try to put yourself in her shoes. If she was constantly locking and hiding her phone away, how would that make you feel? With this in mind, treat your girlfriend the same way you’d like to be treated. Try leaving your phone out in the open instead of slipping your phone into your pocket or stuffing it into a drawer.^{[15]
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- By leaving your phone out, you’re trusting that your girlfriend won’t dig through your phone when you step away.