So you texted a girl to see if she wanted to go out and she replied “possibly”—what does that even mean, and how do you respond to it? It’s important to look at the context of your conversation, especially over text or a dating app. Once you dig a little deeper, it’s pretty straightforward to see what she meant and decide how to go forward. Read on for a comprehensive guide to all of the possible meanings of “possibly” and how to respond like a pro.

1

Flirt with her.

  1. She might just be teasing you a little with a cheeky “possibly.” Look at your prior conversation—if it’s pretty clear you were connecting and joking with each other, this is probably the case. If she included an emoji like 😉 or 😏, that’s a sign it’s time to play. Whip up some fun banter and keep things light:
    • You: “So do you want to grab dinner tomorrow night?”
    • Her: “Hm, possibly 😏”
    • You: “You know you don’t have to physically grab it right? There’s a server that can bring it to you.”
    • Her: “Oh well in that case, sure!”
    • Emojis can be a great way to be flirty and playful—just be sure you don't overuse them.[1]
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4

Ask her to keep you updated.

5

Wrap up or change the subject.

  1. Accept that she’s not sure and “possibly” is her answer for now. There’s a lot of reasons for this—she might have a crazy schedule, or maybe she just doesn’t know how she feels about you yet. “Possibly” doesn’t automatically mean “no,” so there’s no need to panic. Just brush it off casually—change the topic or wrap up the conversation and restart later. Try:
    • “Alright, let’s check in later. Have a great rest of your evening!”
    • “Ok, hopefully it works out. Did you see that it's gonna snow again tomorrow?”
    • Try not to blow up her phone every day to wheedle an answer out of her. Text her a handful of times a week to show you’re still interested without overwhelming her.[4]
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6

Keep your interactions positive.

  1. Stay polite and confident while she makes up her mind. Her “possibly” can turn into a “yes!” if you’re understanding and patient with her, especially if she’s explained why she can’t commit yet. If you get angry or snarky, she might get uncomfortable (AKA that “maybe” will turn into a “no” real fast).
    • You: “How about we catch the new Marvel movie tomorrow?”
    • Her: “Maybe. I’m going through a rough patch this week.”
    • You: “No problem, I totally understand. I hope things get better soon!”
    • Her: “Thanks 🙂”
    • If you keep your conversations pleasant and lighthearted, she'll be more interested in continuing the conversation.[5]
8

Give her a quick call.

  1. If you know her really, really well, a playful chat can clear things up. This only works on people you have a strong, positive relationship with like close friends (or friends you want to be more than friends with). Otherwise, it can seem pretty aggressive or jarring. Keep it jokey and laugh freely to set a fun, enticing tone.
    • You (texting): “Hey, wanna go to Lou Malnati’s tonight?”
    • Her: “Possibly…”
    • You (on the phone): “No Lou Malnati’s? Are you joking? It’s the best pizza in town!”
    • Her: “Uuugh I’ve had pizza like 6 times this week!”
    • You: “Ok then, where do you want to go?”
    • Her: “I could maybe go for sushi…”
    • You: “It’s settled! Sushi it is.”
    • Her: “Haha fine! Pick me up around 7”
9

Ignore her (for now).

References

  1. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
  2. https://bestlifeonline.com/hard-to-get-signs/
  3. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
  4. https://www.bonobology.com/text-girl-keep-interested/
  5. Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
  6. https://www.hercampus.com/wellness/8-confusing-texts-guys-send-how-respond/
  7. https://hackspirit.com/is-she-playing-hard-to-get-or-not-interested/

About This Article

Cher Gopman
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman and by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 138,306 times.
15 votes - 57%
Co-authors: 3
Updated: April 6, 2022
Views: 138,306
Categories: Dating
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