Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control?

Can a conversation about birth control with your boyfriend be a little awkward? Sure. But is it also extremely important to have? Absolutely! Luckily, we've got tons of tips to help you easily navigate the talk with minimal awkwardness. You and your boyfriend should both get to feel safe and certain about your sexual protection. Plus, he's probably way more open and curious about it all than you'd think. For absolutely everything you need to know about how you can have the birth control talk with your boyfriend, read on.

Section 1 of 5:

Should I tell my boyfriend I'm on birth control?

  1. Image titled Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control Step 1
    Yes, you should tell your boyfriend you're on birth control. Sit your boyfriend down and explain your birth control method to him. Or, if you're not on birth control just yet, that means you two are due for a chat about protection. You may be thinking: talking to my boyfriend about birth control is the last thing I want to do. But trust us, it's important.[1]
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Section 2 of 5:

When should I talk to my boyfriend about birth control?

  1. Image titled Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control Step 2
    If possible, have the conversation before you have sex. Chat beforehand, and you'll have the green light for a safe, fun hookup. Wait until after though, and you two may end up regretting having sex before you'd discussed protection.[2]
    • Don't wait until moments before you do the deed. You may end up having a super hasty chat. Instead, set aside time for a thorough, thoughtful talk.
    • If you don't feel ready to talk about protection, then you might not be ready to have sex. If you're unsure, talk to a friend or family member you trust.
    • When you do decide that you're ready to get intimate, your own health and safety should be a top priority.
Section 3 of 5:

How should I talk to my boyfriend about birth control?

  1. Image titled Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control Step 3
    1
    Look for opportunities to steer the convo towards birth control. We get it, it sounds awkward. But talking about protection doesn’t have to be. When you two chat about past love interests, your sexual history, or steamy thoughts you have about each other, pivot your convo to the topic of birth control.[3]
    • Engage him in the conversation: “Hey, speaking of sex, we should chat about protection. Do you have any thoughts on that? What are your preferences?”
    • Fill him in on what you’re thinking: “I have an IUD. It helps prevent pregnancy but not STDs. So, I think we should use condoms.”
    • Boom! That’s all there is to it. There’s more to discuss, but you’ve just successfully kicked off the birth-control convo.
  2. Image titled Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control Step 4
    2
    Talk about STIs, birth control, condoms, and your backup plan. Together, share your preferences, concerns, and needs in terms of birth control. Listen to each other carefully and keep judgment out of your conversation. Finally, choose a plan that fits for both of you. Compromise is great—but just make sure you're genuinely comfortable with the terms you two agree to. [4]
    • Talk about STIs and be open if you have any. Will you two want to get tested before you hook up?
    • Discuss birth control. How reliable is your method? Are you comfortable staying on birth control as long as you two are having sex?
    • Chat about condoms. Birth control can only take your protection so far. Will you two agree to use condoms whenever you have sex?
    • Decide on a backup plan if your birth control method fails. Will you want to take the morning-after pill? If so, who’s paying for it?
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Section 4 of 5:

Who's responsible for our birth control plan?

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    You're both responsible for your sexual protection. An unplanned pregnancy or an STD would affect both of you, so you both should do what you can to stay safe together. Approach things as a team. That means financial responsibility, logistical responsibility—everything. Tackle your birth control plan together.[5]
    • If he's not a fan of condoms, try special brands that increase pleasure (but if he says they don't fit, remind him that that's bologna. No man "doesn't fit" in a condom).[6]
    • If there's a financial hurdle, come up with a plan so that you two can pay for the protection you need together.
Section 5 of 5:

Should my boyfriend be able to choose my birth control method?

  1. Image titled Should I Tell My Boyfriend I'm on Birth Control Step 6
    No—your body is yours. Though your protection method should be a joint decision, no one should ever try to control what you do with your body. If your boyfriend tries to demand you take a certain birth control method (or forego one), explain that that's not his call.[7]
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Warnings

  • If you ever feel unsafe in your relationship or are pressured to do something you don't want to, reach out for help. At the National Domestic Violence Hotline, trained professionals will be waiting to help: 1-800-799-7233.
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.contraception.org.au/guides/
  2. ↑ https://medicaid.alabama.gov/documents/4.0_Programs/4.2_Medical_Services/4.2.4_Family_Planning/4.2.4.1_FP_Educational_Materials/4.2.4.1_Talk_About_BC_Partner.pdf
  3. ↑ https://medicaid.alabama.gov/documents/4.0_Programs/4.2_Medical_Services/4.2.4_Family_Planning/4.2.4.1_FP_Educational_Materials/4.2.4.1_Talk_About_BC_Partner.pdf
  4. ↑ https://www.contraception.org.au/guides/
  5. ↑ https://www.contraception.org.au/guides/
  6. ↑ https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/08/22/talking-about-condoms
  7. ↑ https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/healthy-relationships/what-makes-relationship-unhealthy

About This Article

Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Co-authored by:
Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS
Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS and by wikiHow staff writer, Caroline Heiderscheit. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a Clinical Psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in working with families, children, and couples, treating a variety of psychological disorders, trauma, and abuse. Dr. Brown has specialized in negotiation and profiling. He is also a prolific author having published three books and numerous articles in magazines, journals, and popular publications. Dr. Brown earned a BS in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in Marriage and Family from The University of Great Falls. Furthermore, he received a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is also a candidate for a Masters of Liberal Arts through Harvard University. Dr. Brown is a Fellow of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress and a Diplomate for the National Center for Crisis Management and continues to serve a number of psychological and scientific boards. This article has been viewed 4,455 times.
11 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: June 28, 2022
Views: 4,455
Categories: Relationship News | Birth Control and Contraceptives
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