How to Prepare for a First Date with a Guy

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: January 20, 2022 References

You’ve scored your first date—congrats! It’s normal to feel a little nervous, but before you get caught up in those worries, take a deep breath and remember he’s probably just as nervous as you. We’ve got plenty of tips for how you can prepare for your first date with a guy, so keep reading to learn how you can make sure you're ready inside and out.

1

Turn on some music.

Ease those nerves by popping on your favorite playlist. Music is a great way to put you in an awesome mood, boost your confidence, and get you ready for the night ahead. So, jam out to your favorite artist, album, or playlist while you get ready—and don’t be afraid to put on a solo concert!^{[1]
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- If you don’t know what to listen to, music platforms like Spotify, iHeartRadio, and Apple Music have generated playlists for any mood.
- Get pumped up with some hard rock, a little romantic with old school tunes, or energized with a bit of pop.

2

Take a hot shower or bath.

Make sure to have some “me time” before your date. Let yourself relax in a bubble bath or rinse off the day in a steamy shower. A little time spent with yourself freshening up can do wonders to your confidence and help you look amazing.^{[2]
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- Pamper yourself with a scented bath bomb, body scrub, or moisturizing lotion. He’s sure to notice the time you spent preparing!

3

Ground yourself.

Take some time to reflect before your date. Your nerves are probably running high, and that’s completely normal. Tuning into yourself can help you understand your worries and ease you into a neutral state-of-mind. Try finishing these statements while you get ready:^{[3]
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- “On a first date, I hope to feel comfortable.”
- “On a first date, I would enjoy myself more if I let go of insecurities.”
- “On a first date, I want to remember the way he laughs.”

4

Pick out an outfit you feel good in.

Confidence is key on a first date, so dress to impress. You’re not only dressing for him, you’re dressing for yourself.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Wear something you feel fabulous in, whether that’s a dress, ripped jeans, a muscle tee, or a sparkly suit! Strut into that date with your chin held high knowing you look and feel amazing.
- Buy a new outfit to make the night feel extra special.
- Try on as many outfits as you like, and pick the one you feel the most confident in.
- Send a pic to friends if you’re undecided to get different opinions.
- Dress for the occasion. Choose a fancy outfit for a formal setting like a nice dinner, or pick more casual clothes for an activity like a hike or mini-golf.

5

Think of questions to ask him.

One of the main goals of a date is to get to know each other better. Having a mental list of questions ready to ask can help you quickly start up a conversation. While you’re getting ready, think about what you want to know about him. Here are some questions to get you started:^{[5]
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- “Do you like pineapple on pizza?”
- “What do you like to do in your free time?”
- “Why do you like baseball?”

6

Practice what you’ll say.

Chances are he’s going to ask you questions too. With those dreamy eyes, you may find yourself at a loss for words, but that can easily be avoided with some prep! Think of something that recently happened to you, or imagine you’ve just been asked, “Tell me about yourself.” Practice what you might say in front of a mirror, with a friend, or in your head. This can help calm your nerves and give you a chance to work out what you’ll say.^{[6]
X
Research source} Here are some questions to get you thinking:
- What’s an embarrassing moment you can’t help but laugh at now?
- Where was the last place you went on vacation?
- How would you describe yourself in three words?

7

Plan on arriving on time.

The last thing you want to do is keep him waiting. Plan your day accordingly so you’ll arrive at your meeting spot or be ready to be picked up with plenty of time to spare. If you know it’ll take you an hour to choose an outfit, try picking it out the night before.^{[7]
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- Ditch the idea of arriving fashionably late because being on time will make a better first impression.
- Pretend the date is happening 30 minutes before it actually is. This way, you’ll have a little wiggle room just in case something goes awry.

8

Talk to friends about your date.

If the nerves are getting too high, phone a friend. Sometimes all you need to do is talk it out and have a close friend give you advice. Chances are your friend will hype you up, giving you a confidence boost and helping you feel good.
- Hang out with your friends the night before to get out all the pre-date jitters. You can even role play the date with your friends to practice what you’ll say to him, and show them your amazing date outfit.

9

Take a few deep breaths.

Nerves are normal, so don’t sweat it. One of the best things you can do to prepare is to calm down and remember that he’s probably just as nervous as you. While you’re getting ready, try doing some breathing exercises to calm your mind and ease any worries.^{[8]
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- Belly breathing: Put one hand on your stomach, the other hand on your chest, and relax your shoulders. Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let it out through your mouth. Concentrate on the rise and fall of your stomach with each inhale and exhale. Repeat 3 to 10 times.
- 4-7-8 breathing: Take a deep breath in through your nose while counting to 4, hold your breath for a count of 7, and then exhale out through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat this 3 to 7 times.

10

Put on your biggest smile.

Your smile is contagious not only to him, but to you too! A fail-proof way to prepare for a date is to just be yourself. So, boost your self-confidence and feel your best by putting on a big smile right before walking out the door. You’re amazing, and don’t let yourself forget it!
- Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I got this.”

11

Give yourself boundaries.

No matter how cute this guy is, remember to stick up for yourself. There’s nothing wrong with saying “no” and doing what you need to in order to protect yourself physically and mentally.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Setting boundaries before a date even starts can help you pave the path for a strong and healthy relationship. Consider making these boundaries before your date:^{[10]
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- Say “no.” You don’t have to say “yes” to everything!
- Be honest. Tell him exactly what you're feeling and thinking.
- Make your own decisions. You’re the main character of your life, not him.

12

Put yourself first.

It’s important to remember your needs when preparing for a date. Wanting to make a good first impression is completely normal, but make sure you’re listening to your wants and needs.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} You shouldn’t be the only one trying to impress—he should be trying to woo you too! Rather than putting all your energy into being likable, notice if he’s treating you the way you want to be treated.
- On the date, focus on what he’s saying rather than what you’re thinking.^{[12]
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  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source}
- This can help you stay present in the moment and get out of your head.

13

Be safe.

Have a backup plan before you leave for your date. Your safety is the number one priority, and it doesn’t matter if you’re meeting someone you know or someone you just met. Let friends and family know the name of your date and where you’re going—you can never be too careful! Make sure you’re prepared by following these safety tips:^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
Largest anti-sexual assault organization in the US providing support and advocacy for survivors
Go to source}
- Pick a public location. This can be a busy coffee shop or restaurant. Always consider having your first date somewhere others can see you.
- Have a friend call. Plan on having a friend call you during the date so you can have an excuse to leave if you’re uncomfortable. If all’s good, answer the phone, apologize, and tell your friend you’ll call them back later.
- Ask to meet him at the date location. Don’t have him pick you up on the first date. You don’t know him that well yet, so keep your address private and avoid getting in the car with him.

14

Know that it’s okay if things don’t work out.

There are millions of people out there, so don’t stress if he’s not the one. If there isn’t a connection or things go differently than you imagined, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You can have lots of expectations when it comes to dating, but it’s important to remember that we all have our own path.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 December 2018.} Keep things in perspective and know you’ll find your person when the time’s right.^{[15]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}

15

Have fun.

Try to avoid putting extra pressure on yourself. Dating is supposed to be fun—you’re meeting new people and finding yourself in the process—so brush those worries aside, be yourself, and have a grand time! The goal is to get to know him and see if you’ll be a good match, so take your shot and see where it takes you.
- If worries come to the front of your mind, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everything will be okay.
- Do your best not to think about the future when you're on the date. Focus on the here and now.