How to Make a Man Feel Like a Hero

Co-authored by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT and Amber Crain

Last Updated: May 2, 2022 References

Making your man feel like a hero can solidify your bond and strengthen your relationship. But how exactly do you do it? We're here to help. Theoretically, men are born with something called "the hero instinct," which is a biological drive to protect and care for their partners. We've researched ways you can trigger a man's hero instinct to ensure he feels needed and wanted. If you're ready to make your man feel like a king and win the key to his heart, read on!

1

Ask for his help.

Your man wants to feel useful. He knows that you’re independent and perfectly capable of doing things on your own. Still, he wants to feel like he’s making a positive contribution in your life—that’s a totally natural desire. Instead of doing everything yourself, remember that you have a teammate who wants to help you and reach out to him. Even asking for assistance with something simple, like a household task or project, will do the trick.
- You might say, “Honey, can you help me change this light bulb?” He knows you can do it yourself, but you want his help. And he loves that feeling.
- Text him something like, "My car is making a really weird noise and I'm worried. 😓 I'd feel a lot better if you looked at it. Can you come over?"
- Similarly, try asking for his advice. You might say, "I can't decide if I want to go back to school for my nursing degree or not. Can you give me your honest opinion? Do you think it'll be worth it?"
- Use a gentle tone and pose your request as a question. For instance, “Pick that up” and “Would you mind picking that up for me?” sound a lot different.

2

Compliment him often.

He wants to feel special and know that you adore him. To really make an impact, it’s important to be specific with your praise and not lay it on too thick (since he’ll see right through that). Genuine, heartfelt compliments will go a long way toward making your guy feel truly loved and treasured.^{[1]
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Research source} Aim for variety so he feels like a true Renaissance man. Some examples:
- "You’re such an amazing cook—dinner was delicious and that was the best steak I’ve had in ages. I’m so lucky to have you."
- "That shirt looks perfect on you. It really brings out the green in your eyes and defines your arms. All those hours at the gym have paid off!"
- "It blows me away that you taught yourself how to play the guitar. You’re so talented."
- You could text him something like, "Just wanted to say you looked hot last night on our date 😘"

3

Show gratitude.

A simple “thank you” means the world to him. Everyone wants to be acknowledged and appreciated—it’s human nature. When your man does something nice for you, make it a point to thank him. And you don’t have to make a fuss to make an impact! Briefly stop what you’re doing, lock eyes with him, and tell him you appreciate him. You could also leave him a note or send him a text out of the blue to thank him for all the little things he does. He’ll feel like the king of the world.^{[2]
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- "Thank you so much for helping me with the errands. We got them done in half the time it normally takes. Can I treat you to lunch to show my appreciation?”
- "I appreciate your offer to pick up the kids for the next few months. I’m swamped with work and that’s one less thing I have to worry about. You’re the best."

4

Praise him in public.

Boost his ego in front of his peers and he’ll beam with pride. Praising him behind closed doors is important, of course, but bragging on your man in front of his buddies or coworkers is next-level! It’s a major confidence booster and lets him know that you’re truly crazy about him—and you want everyone within earshot to know it.^{[3]
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- When you’re hanging out with his buddies, you might say, "Patrick has the best sense of style. He’s the most well-dressed man I know. All my friends agree and think it’s super hot. You guys might want to step up your game!"
- If you’re chatting with his coworkers at a company gathering, you could say, "Michael showed me the team project you've been working on and I was blown away. I’m so proud of him! He always says he can’t do it without his awesome team by his side."

5

Support his goals.

Your encouragement makes him want to be his best self. When he shares a goal or talks about his passion project, tell him you have zero doubts he can achieve whatever he puts his mind to. Asking questions and taking an interest can be a big boost, too. Be sure to stress that you have his back no matter what and ask what you can do to help.^{[4]
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Research source} You might say:
- "I love that you’re prioritizing fitness in your life. I know you’re feeling nervous, but I definitely think you’ll be ready for the 12k marathon by spring. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you. You’ve got this!"
- "I didn’t know you were hoping to show your paintings at a local gallery. That’s incredible! Tell me more—do you have a theme in mind for your exhibition and have you contacted any curators yet? I may have a few contacts in the art world that could help you with this."

6

Be enthusiastic about intimacy.

Your man wants to feel like a hero in the bedroom, too. Feeling sexually desirable is really important in romantic relationships. Be sure to put in effort when you’re having sex and make sure he knows you’re having a good time. And if you aren't in the mood occasionally, that’s normal and perfectly fine! Don't force it. You can be intimate in other ways.^{[5]
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Research source} Here are a few ideas:
- Flirt with your guy. Give him a sultry look when you pass him in the hall, give him a wink, and touch him on the arm as he tells you about his day.
- Get in some cuddle time. Yes, guys like to snuggle, too! Affection like kisses, hugs, and hand-holding are great ways to foster intimacy and closeness.^{[6]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source} Any type of physical affection can make a guy feel special!

7

Create a safe space for his emotions.

He needs to know that it's okay to be vulnerable around you. Traditionally, men have been encouraged to stifle their emotions, which is very unhealthy. Deep down, your guy wants a partner who nurtures and respects all parts of him, and that includes his emotions. If you encourage him to open up and support him when emotions are running high, he’ll know that you really love all of him.^{[7]
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- For example, if he's grieving a family member, remind him that it’s okay to cry. Reassure him that you’re here for him and would never judge him. He needs a shoulder to cry on (literally), so offer it up freely to him.

8

Try to limit criticism.

Make an effort to think it through before speaking harsh words. It’s easy to criticize and be condescending in the heat of the moment, especially if you’re really upset about something. Everyone does this on occasion. But before saying something negative, take a step back and ask yourself: do I really need to say this? Is this constructive, or am I just angry?
- You've done a lot of work to boost your man’s ego at this point, and unnecessary criticism can undo all of your work in the blink of an eye.^{[8]
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9

Give him your undivided attention.

Your man wants to feel like a priority in your life. When you're chatting with your guy, fully engage by putting away your phone and looking him in the eye. Make it a point to really listen to what he says. Ask follow-up questions to show that you’re interested or if you need clarification about something.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} You can also do things like:
- Keep your gaze fixed solely on him when other guys are around. He wants to feel like the only man in your world.
- Bring up little details he mentioned in previous conversations to show him you were hanging onto his every word.

10

Tell him how happy you are.

He needs to hear the actual words come out of your mouth. When we get comfortable in a relationship, we tend to start taking certain things for granted. We might feel very happy with our partner, but we stop telling them that because we assume that they know. Make it a point to verbally remind him how happy you are on a regular basis.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} You might say:
- "We’ve both been crazy busy lately, so I just want to reiterate how happy you make me every single day. I love our relationship and I’m so thankful for it. You make me feel like a queen."
- You could also text him something like, "Just a little message to tell you how happy I am. I love being married to you ❤️"

11

Communicate your needs.

He wants to make you happy, so tell him exactly how to do it. Being a hero means fulfilling his partner’s needs and desires, but he’s not a mind reader! Perhaps he isn’t totally sure what you want or need, and that’s okay. To take the guesswork out of it, clearly communicate what you need from your partner. That way, he’ll know exactly what to do to make you happy (which will make both of you feel awesome).^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} You might say:
- "I feel really supported when you listen to me and ask me questions about my day. Maybe we can set aside an hour each week to get caught up on each other's lives?"^{[12]
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- "It makes me feel safe and loved when you call to check on me in the evenings. I miss you when you work nights and I need to hear your voice sometimes."