How to Make Friends in a New Place

Last Updated: February 10, 2023 References

Whether you're a kid or an adult, it can be difficult making friends someplace new. You may have had to leave behind good friends when you moved with your parents, got a job in a different part of the country, or changed schools after graduating. This can be difficult, but with a few techniques for meeting new people and a good-natured attitude, you'll soon have new friends aplenty.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Finding Friends in Your Daily Life

1
Tell people that you're new. You might feel embarrassed that you're new, but most people have experienced what it feels like to be "the new kid." People might wonder at first why you seem nervous or anxious. Telling them up front that you're new and still feel out of place can make them more sympathetic to your situation.
2
Introduce yourself to neighbors. You can earn instant points with your new neighbors by bringing a small gift along. Bake some cookies or prepare your favorite recipe and put it in a nice dish or on a platter. Then take a trip next door and offer your small present to your new neighbor after you introduce yourself and explain that you are new to the area.
- Food makes an especially good gift, as your neighbor will have to bring back the dish or platter when they have finished your treat. This will give you another chance to meet and make friends!
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3
Join clubs. If you are still a student, there will likely be many clubs available to you through your school, but even if you've graduated, you can still join a community club. Choose one of your favorites club activities or try something new. It's much easier to make friends with people who share the same interests as you.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor
Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.}
- Community clubs can usually be found through postings at community centers or online through a general Internet search.
4
Take a class. Classes open to local residents are held at many community colleges, community centers, and outreach centers. Head to these places and check to see what might be available in your area. You might make new friends at a:^{[2]
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- Cooking class
- Dance class
- Karate class
- Computer class
5
Pick up a hobby and join other hobbyists. If club sports aren't your thing, you might choose a hobby or a skill that you'd like to learn and join others who are also interested in it. There are frequently hobby related classes and workshops where you can meet new people while learning new or better techniques related to your hobby or skill. Some ideas include:
- Chess
- Juggling
- Magic
- Painting
- Poi
- Ultimate Frisbee
6
Visit nearby parks and community spaces. These communal spaces are great places to meet people who live nearby. Take a trip to the park and join some potential new friends in a pick-up game of soccer, disc golf, or some other activity.^{[3]
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- Bring a backpack with a ball and frisbee of your own so that you can start a game of your own if you need to.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Attending Social Events

1
Go to cultural activities. Many cultural organizations will arrange festivals or celebrations that take place at the same time as their home-country's traditional celebration. For example, you might attend Chinese New Year, which happens in late January/early February, and meet new people there. Other cultural activities that you might want to look into:^{[4]
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- Dia de los Muertos, the Mexican day of the dead (Oct. 31).
- Tanabata (七夕), the Japanese star festival (July/August).^{[5]
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- Diwali, the Hindu festival of lights (Oct./Nov.).^{[6]
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2
Find events through social media. Even if you don't know a single soul where you're currently at, you should be able to find a Facebook page or Twitter feed that can give you ideas for events to attend. Look through the pages and feeds of friends, mutual acquaintances, and local organizations too, like museums and restaurants. Events are great place to meet people and network.
- Write down or put events into your cell phone calendar so you don't forget and have something to look forward to.
- Invite along any new potential friends to come with you to these events, like your classmates, coworkers, or neighbors.
3
Use online socializing sites. Many sites now aim to connect people who have similar interests in real life. You can search for board game nights, connect with local computer/video gamers, or even meet up with others who share your passion, like writing. Becoming part of the local community, even if you are online, can connect you with other people, which you can later meet in person. Some sites you might want to check out:^{[7]
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- Nextdoor
- Meetup
4
Volunteer your time for a cause you support. Volunteering will make you feel more connected to your local community and more socially at ease. Choosing to volunteer for a cause you believe in can also put you in contact with like-minded individuals who can easily turn into new friends. Think about volunteering at:^{[8]
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- Community cleanups
- The Humane Society
- Soup kitchens
- Youth programs, like Big Brothers Big Sisters of America
5
Take part in free local events. Your community might put on a corn maze in the fall, or maybe even sponsors an annual ice sculpting contest every winter. Ask your classmates or coworkers about noteworthy events that are popular in your area and make it a priority to go and meet new people.^{[9]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Socializing Effectively

1
Take a deep breath if you are anxious. It's normal to feel anxiety when you're on your own in a new place, but this can make it difficult for you to approach new people and make friends.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Ashley Pritchard, MA
Academic & School Counselor
Expert Interview. 4 November 2019.} Make sure you start your day with a protein filled breakfast, like eggs or yogurt, and avoid caffeine.^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} When you start feeling anxious, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself:
- It's normal to be nervous when new somewhere.
- Everything is OK. There's nothing wrong with being new to a place.
- People move other places all the time and are just fine. I can make new friends, too!^{[12]
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  Trustworthy Source
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  Go to source}
2
Engage your conversation partner(s). When you introduce yourself, don't stop at "hello"! Ask your conversation partners a question after you give your name, or add some extra information about yourself. You can do this simply by offering a quick greeting, your name, and adding a question. Some examples of this might look like:
- "Hi, I'm Tony, what brings you to this party?"
- "Hi, I'm Sarah, how do you know the host of the party?"
- "Good to meet you, Tom. I'm Sam and I just moved from New York. The host is my next door neighbor - how do you know him?"^{[13]
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3
Build relationships through small talk. Even if you hate making small talk, you can't expect to jump into deep or personal conversations with people you've just met. There's nothing wrong with starting with safe, simple topics like work, hobbies, favorite books, movies, and so on.
- You might also talk about differences between where you are now and where you used to live, like differences in climate or geography.^{[14]
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4
Start small. It can be daunting thinking you have to rebuild your social life in a few weeks or months, and these feelings might make it difficult for you to put yourself out there and meet new people. Reach out to people you already have some kind of connection with, like acquaintances, classmates, coworkers, or the friends of closer friends. See if they have free time and would like to do something, like play ultimate frisbee or see a local festival.^{[15]
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5
Transform acquaintances into friendships. Meeting people is the first step to making friends someplace new, now you need to turn these acquaintances into friends! Follow up with people you think you might enjoy spending time with and invite them over for dinner or out to do something fun. As you become more comfortable with your acquaintances, ask questions about their personal lives to show him you're interested in becoming closer friends.
- Always try to show interest, even if your acquaintance is on a topic you're indifferent about. Asking questions and showing interest can help build a friendship quickly.
- Keep eye contact while talking and use the other person's name to improve your connection and help you remember the new name.^{[16]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What should I do on the first day at a new school?

Ashley Pritchard, MA
School Counselor
Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine.

Ashley Pritchard, MA

School Counselor

Expert Answer

A lot of this just comes down to preparing for school. Make sure you get your schedule and show up for your classes on time. Pay attention to your teachers and just stay calm. Everybody is anxious on their first day, so don't worry too much about it. Once you're used to your school, it'll get a lot easier.