Workplace Basics: 10 Simple Ways to Improve Your Social Skills

Co-authored by Lynda Jean and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: November 9, 2022 References

Being friendly and social with your coworkers is a big part of most jobs. It can be a little nerve-wracking to socialize with coworkers, though, as you may not know them as well as close friends. Thankfully, there's a lot of simple things you can do to improve your social skills at work. If you're feeling shy or unsure of where to start, try these tips.

1

Greet everyone with a smile.

It's simple, but it makes a big impact. Try smiling at your coworkers and greeting them each day when you get to work. Even if you're a little nervous, it only takes a few seconds, and it can make you seem more friendly and approachable. Make eye contact, smile, and add a personalized hello to break the ice with your coworkers.^{[1]
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- Try making yourself smile and say hello even when you're not exactly in the mood. It's a relatively painless way to be social with your coworkers, and it can make a world of difference in showing them that you care.

2

Maintain positive body language.

This helps you look more confident and approachable. When you're speaking to your coworkers, stand up straight, keep your head held high, and maintain direct eye contact. Relax your shoulders and arms so that you don't appear uncomfortable or tense. When your coworkers speak to you, lean in a little to show your interest. You'll appear both relaxed and sure of yourself at the same time, even if you're a little nervous on the inside.^{[2]
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- If you're unsure, try mimicking the body language of your coworkers. It may sound strange, but it will help you seem more likable and invested in the conversation.

3

Use general conversation starters.

Talk about the weather or something you notice in the room. Say something like, "Wow, it's been so warm out lately!" or "I've never noticed that poster in the break room before." This gives the conversation a nice starting point with whoever you're talking with, and it breaks the ice without getting too personal.^{[3]
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- Any casual small talk is fine—the most important thing is to engage with the people around you.^{[4]
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  Lynda Jean
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  Expert Interview. 17 November 2020.}
- Remember to give people time to talk. A good conversation is about taking turns. If you've been doing most of the talking, pause so that your coworker can get a word in or share their perspective.
- End conversations on a good note. If you notice a natural stopping point in the conversation, politely excuse yourself from the conversation and leave your coworker with an invitation to talk again soon.
  - Say something like, "I've loved talking about these ideas with you. I've got to get back to my desk, but please let me know if there's anything more we can discuss!'

4

Compliment your coworkers.

These work as great conversation starters, too. If you notice your coworker is wearing a cool blazer, compliment them on it. People love to be flattered, and it will make them have a positive association with you.^{[5]
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- Say something like, "I love that blazer, Tammy. It's got a great pattern."
- You can also praise someone for their performance in a meeting. Try, "I appreciated your feedback in the meeting. It's making me think of the project in a whole new way."
- If someone compliments you, graciously say something like, "Thank you so much, that means so much to me!"

5

Ask questions.

This shows your coworkers that you want to get to know them better. If you're unsure of what your coworker meant in conversation, ask to clarify their point of view. Maybe you understand, but just want to learn more. Ask follow-up questions. Your coworkers will be flattered by your curiosity, and it'll keep the conversation going.^{[6]
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- Maybe your coworker just told you that they love to go camping. Ask something like, "What are your favorite camping spots?"
- If your coworker is always talking about their pets, you might say, "How's that cute little dog of yours?"

6

Listen to what your colleagues have to say.

Hear and reflect on what they share with you. Practice active listening strategies, like nodding and making eye contact as your coworkers speak and waiting until they've finished their thought to respond. These small changes can help you pay attention to your coworkers' perspectives and be more engaged in conversations.^{[7]
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- If you're ever unsure about what a coworker meant, restate what they said in your own words to make sure you understood them correctly.
- Avoid just thinking about what you have to say in response while people speak to you. Hear them out first to fully participate in the conversation.
- Refer back to old conversations next time you talk to your coworkers. If a coworker mentioned that they were planning a summer trip the other day, ask them if they've made any progress on their plans next time you see them.^{[8]
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7

Write clear, informative emails to your coworkers.

Written communication is a part of socializing in the workplace as well. Proofread before you hit send to avoid any awkward sentences or typos. Edit your emails for clarity and pay attention to the tone as well. You want the email to read as professional, friendly, and informative.^{[9]
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- If you need to talk about a sensitive topic, set up an in-person meeting or video conference instead. Make your email simply about setting up a time to meet.
- This helps you avoid potential email miscommunications.

8

Adopt a team mentality and cooperate with your coworkers.

See your coworkers as collaborators instead of competition. Help your coworkers out if they ever need assistance. If you and a coworker don't see eye to eye, ask questions to understand their perspective and try to practice compassion regarding your differences.^{[10]
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- Being a team player will help coworkers feel more comfortable around you and can increase your feelings of camaraderie.

9

Be receptive and flexible about feedback.

Look at constructive criticism as an opportunity to improve. Though it can be hard to hear feedback sometimes (especially if you disagree), listen to what your supervisors and coworkers have to say about your performance. Ask questions to understand their advice and thank them for sharing their point of view.^{[11]
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- Avoid interrupting or dismissing your coworkers' feedback. Even if you disagree, respect their point of view and see it as an opportunity to get even better at your job and learn from your colleagues.

10

Be positive around your coworkers.

Too much negativity can bring people down. Keep a positive attitude, even when things get stressful at work, and remain friendly with your coworkers. Your coworkers will appreciate your hopeful attitude and it will even inspire them to think more positively themselves.^{[12]
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- If you're having trouble being positive, start with positive self-talk. Anytime you're feeling down on yourself, think of all of your strengths and why your coworkers enjoy your company instead.^{[13]
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- Replace thoughts like "I'm so awkward" or "No one in the office likes me" with things like "I'm always kind to everyone in the office" or "I'm super helpful and I always get my work done."

11

Respect your coworkers' boundaries.

Not everyone wants to be best friends with their coworkers. Being social in the workplace is super important, but everyone has their limits on how much they want to socialize. Read your coworkers' body language and verbal cues to understand their boundaries, and respectfully give your coworkers the space they need.^{[14]
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- If you say hi to a coworker and they briefly nod before looking back at their work, they may be too busy for a full-on conversation.
- Be mindful of personal space. Though embracing your friends to greet them is perfectly acceptable, it's best to stick to a handshake or a wave when you're interacting with colleagues.