How to Improve Sexual Stamina

Co-authored by Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM

Last Updated: July 13, 2022 References

Everyone wants to be a better lover. For many, inability to offer one's partner a lasting sexual experience is a source of concern and even stress. However avoiding premature ejaculation in men and lack of sexual stamina in either partner can be easy with the right set of bedroom techniques and lifestyle changes. Here are some steps to help boost your bedroom game and ensure satisfaction for both you and your partner.

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Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

In the Bedroom

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Take it slow. Sex doesn't have to be fast and furious. Keep your movements slow and steady and let stimulation build gradually. Instead of being forceful, tease and titillate your partner by holding back and varying the angle, speed and deepness of penetration. When both partners are ready you can speed up together for an explosive finish.
- One variation of this is called the "7 and 9" technique: keep yourself (and potentially your partner) stimulated without going over the edge of climax by alternating between seven fast strokes and nine slow strokes.
2
Change it up. One of the best ways to keep your energy up, prevent cramps and avoid premature ejaculation is to change positions, speeds and acts more frequently. When you feel yourself approaching orgasm, switch to a new position or stop to give your partner some manual or oral pleasure. Along with helping you last longer, this will give you a more interesting and varied sexual experience.
3
Take breaks. If you feel yourself getting too close to climax, or just running out of steam, just stop for a few minutes. You can use this time to enjoy foreplay, talk dirty, or switch to stimulating your partner manually or orally. When you've had a chance to cool down, dive back in for another round of intercourse.
4
Focus on foreplay. Penetrative intercourse isn't the be-all and end-all of sex. You can give your partner a longer experience by taking the time to have great foreplay. Kissing, touching, pillow talk, and the use of toys or restraints can all make for awesome, memorable sex. Give your partner a lot oral and manual stimulation to get them ahead of you—or even get them to climax one or more times before penetration. If you make the most of several or all of the activities in your sexual toolbox, a few minutes of intercourse may be all either partner needs—or wants—to be satisfied.
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Use thicker protection. While some argue that there is little noticeable difference between different condoms, many people swear using thicker condoms can reduce sensitivity and let them hold off orgasm longer. Using lube in conjunction with a condom has also been shown to help people with penises last longer.^{[1]
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6
Try a desensitizing cream. Many sex stores and sexual health retailers sell creams that can be applied to the penis to numb sensations during sex, thus allowing people with penises to hold off their climax longer. Of course stopping to put on a chemical cream isn't the sexiest thing you can do in bed, so this method may be best saved for comfortable and committed sexual relationships.^{[2]
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- Look for a cream that absorbs into your skin to prevent numbing your partner as well.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

In Your Life

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Eat right. Lack of sexual stamina, for all genders, can be a symptom of larger problems with your health and diet. To have a great sex life, eat healthy foods and maintain a healthy weight.^{[3]
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- Avoid foods that are high in saturated fats and cholesterol, as these can clog your arteries and reduce blood flow. Good blood flow is vital to having the best sexual experience.^{[4]
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Exercise. Good sex can be hard, tiring work! Like any physical activity, your stamina in bed can be improved by staying fit. Shoot for 30 minutes of aerobic exercise at least five days a week, plus strength training twice a week. Regular exercise, especially aerobic exercise, will keep you healthy, promote good blood flow and give you the energy to have great sex. Plus exercise can improve your body image and make you a more confident lover.^{[5]
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Stay stress free. Stress can make it hard to stay focused, aroused and happy during sex—and it can constrict the blood flow necessary for healthy sex. To improve stamina and enjoyment should reduce stress in their life—or at least learn to leave it outside the bedroom.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Tracy Zollinger Dipl. OM, L.Ac., FABORM
Licensed Herbalist & Acupuncturist
Expert Interview. 6 October 2020.}^{[7]
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4
Practice. As with any activity, practice makes perfect. Have more sex with your partner using the techniques above and soon enough your stamina and control over your orgasm will improve and come more naturally.
- Masturbation is also a good way to train yourself to control your climax. Practice getting close to orgasm but stopping right before. Repeat several times before you finish. This will help you learn to notice when you are at the edge of climax, and control yourself when you get there. You don't have to do this every time you masturbate, but occasionally challenging yourself to see how long you can last can be fun and helpful.
- Masturbating too often in the same way, however, can train your body to only respond to certain kinds of stimulation—which can be troublesome when you want to reach your climax during intercourse. Be sure to vary your routine: switching hands, using lube, trying sex toys, and exploring different kinds of mental and visual stimulation.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

In Your Head

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Don't worry. One of the most common causes of premature ejaculation in people with penises is nervousness and anxiety over the quality of one's performance.^{[8]
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Research source} The best thing to do is relax and focus on enjoying the closeness with your partner. Remember that sex is about intimacy as much as pleasure, and great sex comes from chemistry much more than stamina or skill. If you find yourself getting stressed or "in your head," take a deep breath and spend a moment reconnecting with your partner.
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Think about something else. The classic way that people with penises, and some vulva-owners, use to control the timing of their orgasm is to concentrate on some mundane topic while having sex. Put the pleasure you are receiving to the back of your mind, and try doing a few basic math problems in your head until you are finally ready to climax.
- Avoid thinking about topics or images that stress you out or turn you off. These can cause you to lose your arousal during sex, instead of simply letting you extend it. Instead try to think about something more abstract, such as visualizing geometric shapes or recalling the lyrics to a favorite song.
- Don't extend your stamina at the expense of being present with your partner. Long sex can be dull for both of you if you spend the whole time with your head in the clouds. Use this technique sparingly and instead focus on engaging and being active with your partner.