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This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Your healing journey can help you put a trauma to rest and get you ready to move on with your life. Take care of your yourself by coping with your emotions and healing with your body. Start some new practices to help you stay calm in your body. Now is a great time to rely on other people for support, so reach out to friends and family. Many people see a therapist or join a support group as part of their healing.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Coping with Your Feelings
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1Feel your emotions. It might be easier to push your emotions away or pretend they don’t exist. You may even think of yourself as strong for not engaging with your emotions. However, it’s important to feel what you need to feel regarding your trauma. Your feelings are valid, so let yourself express them.[1]
- For example, if something makes you feel angry, express that anger. If you become overwhelmed with sadness, don’t be afraid to cry.
- You might wish to talk about your feelings with a friend or therapist or write them down in a journal. Do what helps you express your emotions.
- Negative feelings won't just disappear immediately and may come and go for some time, but this is normal and healthy. You may alternate between periods of happiness, sadness, anger, fear, guilt or others. Embracing the negative emotions can help you understand and work through them sooner. Likewise, whenever you are feeling good, enjoy it! You earned it!
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2Tell your story. Many survivors of trauma find it therapeutic to tell their stories and repeat them. Talking about the trauma can help express the pain and help to restore power back to you. It can also help you remove the awful feelings attached to the event. This might mean talking about it in a support group or therapist’s office, or with friends and family.[2]
- If talking about your story gives you extreme anxiety, see a mental health professional who specializes in trauma for advice so you avoid further traumatizing yourself in the process.[3] If you aren't sure but feel like trying, start with brief disclosures and then gauge how you feel.
- If you don’t want to tell your story, sometimes it can help to provide support for someone else who needs it.
- While many people find it helpful to talk, you might want to express your feelings through singing, dancing, our journaling.[4]
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3Embrace your spirituality. Some people turn toward religion or spirituality as a way to heal and work through trauma. Your beliefs may help you navigate the meaning and purpose of your negative experiences or help you connect with something outside of yourself. You may take refuge and comfort in your beliefs of a greater plan or higher power.
- Being a part of a spiritual community may help you gather with other like-minded individuals ready to help you and support you.
- Join a spiritual community or participate in spiritual practices on your own. Start by meditating or by reading sacred texts.
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4Get involved in activities. Don’t let your entire life revolve around your trauma. Constantly thinking about the trauma can be draining and remove you from the rest of life. Part of healing is having things and experiences in your life that don’t involve the trauma. Enjoy some social activities like getting together with friends, going bowling, or attending concerts. Try to experience some “normal” time.[5]
- If you’re invited to spend time with friends, do your best to go, even if you don’t feel like it.
- Spending time doing “normal” things can help you feel like you’re moving toward a more normal life once again.
- On the other hand, you don't need to try to do so many things you have no time at all to think about your trauma. You might try designating a specific time to think about it, process emotions and grieve. You may eventually learn how to 'save' emotions or thought that pop up throughout your day for you to go over during your designated time.
- Even as you get involved with activities, take measures to feel safe. For example, go with other people you trust, stay in well-lit public areas, and allow yourself to leave if you ever feel unsafe.
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5Avoid turning to drugs and alcohol. Self-medicating with drugs and alcohol may feel good in the moment, but it won’t make the trauma go away or help you on your healing process. Using drugs and alcohol tends to mask your problems momentarily, but can lead to addiction and other mental or emotional problems. Cope with your feelings in a healthy way and don’t turn to addictive substances for a quick fix.[6]
- Remember that addictive behaviors are not limited to drugs, but could include excessive eating, spending, gambling or technology use. Practice moderation to avoid these extremes.
- If you think you might have an addiction, get treatment and do activities that don’t revolve around addictive substances.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Healing with Your Body
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1Use relaxation. Because trauma often results in hyper vigilance and alertness, you may want to practice relaxation every day for 30 minutes to cope with daily stressors. This can help you deal with stressors as they occur without letting them accumulate. Relaxation can also help you with anxiety, depression, and stabilizing your moods.[7]
- Schedule a consistent daily time for these activities instead of trying to do them just when you think you need them. By forming these good habits you will be more likely to practice them even when you don't really feel like it or on a bad day, which is when you need to relax the most.
- If you don’t know where to start, try yoga, qi gong, or meditation. You can also listen to calming music, write in a journal, or take a daily walk with your dog.
- Have “mini-relaxation” activities on hand that you can do when you feel anxious and are not at home. For example, carry around essential oils, a stress ball, a book that you enjoy, or a fidget spinner that you can use anywhere.
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2Practice mindfulness. Connect to the present moment through your senses, especially if you’re feeling threatened. Mindfulness involves bringing focused and non-judgmental awareness to your experience. It can help a threatened mind or body come into a calm, non-reactive state. If you feel triggered by something, engage in some mindful practices to bring you back to the present moment.[8]
- There are lots of ways to practice mindfulness. You can focus on one sense at a time (like listening intently or visually scanning the room in detail) or focus on your breathing.
- Mindfulness can be challenging at first, but will become much easier with practice. Nobody is adept at this technique when they are just starting out, so don't get discouraged and give up! Consider trying guided meditations to familiarize yourself with it, either in a class or from various online resources.
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3Start exercising. Though trauma is largely psychological, some physical interventions can help you get “unstuck.” Do something that requires full-body movements such as walking, running, swimming, or dancing. Notice the sensations in your body as you move and put your focus and awareness fully onto your body.[9]
- Some sports to try that involve your full body and require concentration include boxing, rock climbing, and martial arts.
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4Take care of your health. While you’re healing, make sure you’re taking care of your body. Get plenty of sleep (7-9 hours each night), eat healthy foods, and live a healthy lifestyle. Keeping on top of your physical health can help you deal with stress and help with feelings of anxiety and depression.[10]
- Stay away from alcohol and drugs as ways to cope. Prioritize your healing by staying committed to healthy living habits.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Getting Support
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1Find a safe place. When recovering from trauma, it’s imperative to have a place that feels safe. Your body may be on high alert when you’re out and about, so have a place you feel entirely safe. This might be your bedroom, a restaurant, or a parent’s or friend’s house. The important thing is that you feel safe and not threatened.
- You may also want to have activities that make you feel safe at your safe place. This might be singing, dancing, talking to someone, or writing in a journal.
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2Spend time with friends and family. You don’t have to talk about the trauma, but surround yourself with people who love and support you. If you feel like talking, share your feelings with someone, preferably face-to-face. If you don’t feel like talking, be around people who make you feel supported and you can talk to if you want to.[11]
- Lean on people who will listen and care about you. If there are friends who often drain you, take some time away and focus on being with the people who add to your life positively.
- Some people may try to tell you to "get over it" or otherwise push you to move on before you are ready. While these people usually mean well, or may be trying to deal with their own discomfort over the situation, being around them too much can be detrimental to your recovery.
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3See a therapist. A therapist can help you navigate through healing from a trauma. They can help you make sense of your feelings, develop a safety plan, and create some coping skills to deal with stress. Many therapists use cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) or trauma-focused CBT as a primary treatment method. See a therapist who specializes in treating people with trauma.[12] [13]
- Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or by calling your local mental health clinic. You can also obtain a recommendation from a physician or friend.
- Healing can take time, but therapy can help you understand how to manage it and learn to thrive.
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4Try EMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a type of therapy that uses eye movements to reprocess and work through a trauma. It helps to “unfreeze’ traumas that may be stuck. It’s especially effective in treating trauma and helping survivors move past their experiences.[14]
- Find an EMDR therapist by looking online. Make sure that they are qualified to administer EMDR therapy.
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5Talk to your primary care physician or a psychiatrist about whether medication could help. Medication cannot cure your trauma, but may make certain symptoms easier to deal with. Medications are the most effective when taken while you are also going to therapy.[15]
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6Join a support group. You might find it comforting to meet with other people who have also experienced a trauma. Joining a support group can help you feel less alone in experiencing the pain that goes along with a trauma. It can also be a place to give and receive support, ask questions, share your story, and get advice.[16]
- Find a trauma support group in your local community or join an online group.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionWhat are some strategies to accept past mistakes and move on?
Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorClinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorExpert AnswerPast mistakes can be haunting and oftentimes, we carry the burden with us for a lifetime. It’s important to show self love and forgiveness for when you make mistakes. We are all human, we are bound to make errors in judgment. The most important thing is did you learn from the mistake, did you make amends with the people that you hurt and did you problem solve to make things better. Practicing gratitude is a really effective way to work on self-love and self-compassion. Every morning when you wake up jot down five things you’re grateful for and make sure to incorporate things that are specific to your own personal strengths, growth and healing. -
QuestionHow do you accept trauma?Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorClinical Therapist & Adjunct ProfessorExpert AnswerCognitive Behavioral Therapists believe that negative experiences can actually rewire the brain, causing neurotransmitters to be impacted and therefore causing an increase in negative thinking and hopelessness. These can lead to a downward spiral of anxiety, panic and depression. With the help of a trained mental health clinician who specializes in trauma, one can begin to process the trauma, learn proper coping skills to deal with life after trauma, and accept one's experience as a part of one's existence. -
QuestionHow long does it take to recover from emotional trauma?
Rebecca Ward, LMFT, SEP, PCC, MARebecca A. Ward, LMFT, SEP, PCC is the Founder of the Iris Institute, a San Francisco, California-based business focusing on using somatic expertise to teach individuals and groups the skills to deal with dilemmas using interventions, including her own Original Blueprint® method. Ms. Ward specializes in treating stress, anxiety, depression, and trauma. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner (SEP), and a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF). Rebecca holds an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marymount University and an MA in Organizational Leadership from The George Washington University.
Licensed TherapistThere's no set time when it comes to recovery and it really differs from person to person. The type of treatment you're getting can also impact recovery time. So long as you stick with your treatment and take steps to take care of yourself, you'll find it easier to manage your negative feelings over time. Just stick with it!
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200111/recovering-trauma
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200111/recovering-trauma
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#moving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/stress/stress-management.htm#healthy
- ↑ https://www.ptsd.va.gov/gethelp/coping_stress_reactions.asp
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#moving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#moving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#moving
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd-trauma/emotional-and-psychological-trauma.htm#moving
- ↑ Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP. Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor. Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
- ↑ http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/ptsd
- ↑ https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand_tx/emdr.asp
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/common-therapy-approaches-to-help-you-heal-from-trauma
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/support-groups/art-20044655
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The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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