How to Have a Gay or Lesbian Relationship

Date first. More than once. A common mistake that people coming into first LGBT relationships make is getting way too involved way too early. Before you find yourself waking up with someone you realize you barely know, go out to determine if you are really compatible. It's not enough that both of you are gay. You need to know if you have common interests, similar values, and plans for the future that complement one another.

Keep each other informed of happenings. Sharing and supporting one another are key. If you're being harassed, or if you've been promoted at work, if you got an award, if your best friend just told you that they are moving - share it with your partner. Remember that your partner should not only be your lover, they should be your best friend, too.

Be honest, loving, truthful and caring. Being honest means being open, too. Don't keep things from your partner; it's a lie of omission if you fail to disclose things - it's nearly as bad as outright lying. When you have something to say, sit down with your partner, let them know how much you love them, and then take them to that wonderful place called "Say It Say It Say It". Your partner loves you, and will be glad you trusted them enough to confess or share, whatever you need to do.

Choose whether your relationship will be exclusive or not. Good communication in this area is really important. If one of you believes your relationship is "open", in other words, that other partners are okay, and one believes the relationship is monogamous and exclusive, you have a problem. When the "open" partner starts flirting with someone, the "exclusive" partner will be angry, hurt, and confused.

Stick up for each other. Don't leave your partner twisting in the wind - particularly if you're not out, and it's a member of your family making a gay joke or insulting gays. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. If you're not out, then take your partner and leave, saying that you are not comfortable with that sort of bigoted joking. If you want to come out, then tell your family that as a person who has realized their sexuality, that sort of joke isn't funny to you. And if a joke is made at the expense of your partner, let your friends, family, or whoever made that joke know that it was not acceptable to you, and ask them to keep remarks like that to themselves in the future. Don't let others upset your partner - or trash your lives.

Know your rights. If any such issue arises at your place of work, there may be organizations is the area that you can contact for advice, such as the Gay/Lesbian Center or GLAAD (Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) in the United States. They can help direct you to help in your area.