How to Grind

Last Updated: December 14, 2021

Feel like getting freaky on the dance floor? Want to send a sexy message or just have some suggestive fun? Grinding is a form of dance that requires you to move your hips in a circular motion that matches your partner's, and to let loose and have some fun. Once you know how to grind, you can show off your sexy moves at any party or club. Read on to find out how to do it.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Approaching Your Partner

1
Listen for the right music. While you're waiting for some hip-hop or house music to come on, scout the dance floor for some partners that you might want to grind with. You don't want to get to the dance floor in the middle of a slow song and miss your chance to grind. You can either way to go up to someone, or just go to the dance floor with your friends, and get ready to mingle.
2
Find your partner. If you're brave, you can go up to a potential partner and ask, "Hey you want to dance?" But if you want to be more slick about it, just rock out on the dance floor until someone special catches your eye. Then, you can nod and smile at the person as you come dance closer and closer to each other until you're brushing up against each other. Just don't come up to a complete stranger without making eye contact, or you'll be brushed off.^{[1]
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3
Get into position. Usually, the guy gets behind the girl to start grinding. However, you can always grind face-to-face. Then, the girl should slowly turn away from the guy until she's dancing with her back to him. The guy should be behind the girl, at a respectable distance, but close enough to put his hands on her hips or sides when the time is right.^{[2]
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- Standing about a foot away from the guy at first is about the right distance. You can move closer together as you get more comfortable.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Grinding

1
Move your hips in the same circular motion. While normally the guy is behind the girl, feel free to switch things up. The girl's hips should move in a circular motion, and the guy's hips should match that motion. Before the guy puts his hands all over the girl, the dancing pair, or trio, should find a comfortable rhythm.^{[3]
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- If you're in front, move your booty around in a pattern at around the crotch level of your partner. You're in control.
- If you're behind someone else, follow her movements. Your pelvises can be directly aligned or slightly off so that of your legs is between your partner's legs.
2
The guy should put his hands on the girl's hips. Once you found a comfortable flow, the guy should put his hands on the girl's hips. He doesn't have to grip them too firmly -- just enough to gain his footing and to settle deeper into the grind. The girl can bend her knees, so the couple can move lower to the ground.^{[4]
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- As the girl gets low, her hands can travel down her thighs and even to her knees.
- The girl can keep her arms loose. She can move them up and down to the beat of the music while grazing her own thighs or knees.
3
Get low. Guys should expect a booty shake, and girls should expect to shake their booties. Gradually, a girl will get lower to the ground, putting her hands on her knees, or holding the guy's hands near her waist. As she leans forward, her backside will raise in the air, brushing up or hovering near her dance partner.
- The guy's hands can travel up from the girl's hips to below her waist, at the top of her backside. This will work as long as the guy is respectful and the girl is comfortable with this movement.
- If you're up for it, the girl can get even lower to the ground until her hands are nearly touching or touching the floor and her booty is raised high.
4
Grind in a group. Sometimes a group of people start grinding together in a chain. Usually, you'll see either a mix of men and women alternating or just women. Sometimes two women will "sandwich" a man, and others will latch on. Don't hesitate to go with whatever makes you feel good.
- Grinding in a group can be even more fun than grinding with just one partner, but it will require more coordination. If one person in the group bends down, everyone else will have to adjust accordingly.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Improving your Technique

1
Do the side-to-side grind. Dancing the same exact way can get old after a while, so once you and your partner have been grinding the traditional way for a while, go for the side-to-side move. This way, the girl moves to the left while the guy moves to the right, so they're always on opposite sides. Though you'll still be turned away from your partner, you can look up or down at him or her during this move.^{[5]
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2
Grind while facing your partner. Don't be afraid to turn toward your partner and grind while facing him or her. The girl can put her arms around the guy's neck while he keeps his hands on her hips and both people continue to move their hips in a circular rhythm. You don't have to stay facing your partner, either. You can mix it up by turning around and then turning back toward your partner whenever you want a change.
3
Master the slow grind. You don't have to rush off the dance floor if a slow song comes on. If you're comfortable with your partner and having a good time, there's no need to stop the fun. Just keep doing what you're doing -- only slower and sexier. Don't skip a beat. Just transition right into the slower dance move. If you hesitate, your partner may think you don't know what to do.

Community Q&A

Question

What if he starts to kiss my neck, do I go along with it even if I don't like him?

Community Answer

Consent is the key. If you are uncomfortable, calmly refuse or say "don't." If he insists after that, walk away.
Question

What happens if I get too comfortable but I already have a partner but I like them as well but you want to have sex with my boyfriend?

Community Answer

Don't cheat. Your life will get worse. Or, you can break up with your boyfriend but really, all this over a cheap grind?
Question

How do I find balance?

Community Answer

You can try to put your legs out (like is a squat position) and lean forward a little. This helps balance out your body parts with out you having to focus on not falling over during the moment.

Warnings

Guys may experience an erection while grinding. If this happens, don't be embarrassed. After all, an erection is your body's natural response to this kind of friction. You can do a couple of things to hide your erection:
- Bend your knees so that the bottom of your stomach gets the most friction or turn just a bit so that the side of your body gets the friction.
- If repositioning does not work, you may want to excuse yourself for a few minutes to let things settle down.
- If you know you're going to be grinding somewhere wear tight underwear. Briefs in this situation are better than boxers.
- If all else fails, just go with the flow and ignore it. Your partner may love it! If she doesn't, then she'll move on.
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Many people do not like dancing with pushy partners. If you are feeling uncomfortable with where your partner is putting his hands, move them back to your hips or waist. If your partner gets too grabby again, just stop grinding and walk away. Just because you are grinding doesn't mean your partner has permission to grope you.^{[6]
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