How to Get on Your Mom's Good Side

Last Updated: December 4, 2022

It's easy to forget how much work your mom does to keep you happy and healthy. Sometimes, the stress of being a good parent might make moms grouchy and quick to anger. If you have noticed that your mom has been especially stressed lately, try taking steps to get on her good side. You can make life easier for your mom, make her feel good about herself, and be on your best behavior to help her see that she is raising good children.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making Life Easier for Your Mom

1
Let her sleep in. Since the day you were born, your mom has probably been getting up early to feed you and get you ready for the day. However, you are now old enough to manage all of this on your own. You can tell your mom that you will make your own breakfast, and pack your own lunch. Tell her that you will take the school bus (if this is an option where you live) so that she can sleep in.^{[1]
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- Though your mom may not take you up on your offer, she will appreciate that you are trying to do something nice for her.
2
Prepare a meal. Tell your mom that you want to prepare breakfast or dinner one or two days in the week. If you are old enough, go to the grocery store and pick up all the ingredients yourself. If you are not old enough, ask an older sibling or your other parent to help you get the ingredients. If there is no one else to ask, you can still ask your mom if she can take you to pick up the ingredients. Helping her out occasionally without being asked is always a great idea.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Maggie Mitchell
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.}
- Try to choose something that you will be able to make for the whole family with minimal assistance from your mom. However, if she says she would enjoy making it together with you, don't push her away.
- If you have siblings, you can also ask them if they'd like to help you make the meal together. It will probably make your mom very happy to see you all working together.
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3
Make your bed each day. For many moms, it is ideal to have each child make up their own bed each day before going to school. If your mom normally has to nag you to do this several times, try getting it done as soon as you get up before she has a chance to ask you.
- Though making up your bed can feel like a real hassle, if you get into the habit of doing it every single day, eventually it will be something you do without even thinking about it.
- If you really want to go the extra mile, you can even make her bed for her.
4
Keep your room clean. If you really want to impress your mom, you can do so by keeping your room clean without your mom having to ask you to do so. It doesn't have to be perfect all of the time, but try to keep it organized. Keep the floor vacuumed, and all of your toys, books, electronic devices, etc. put away when you aren't using them. Fold your clean clothes and put them in drawers or in a closet.
- You can also keep it smelling fresh by opening the window for a few minutes every day.
5
Help out around the house. It's best if you help out without being asked to do so. You don't have to clean the whole house from top to bottom (though you can, if you're up to it), but do a few things that you know your mom hates doing herself.
- For example, you can take the trash out, sweep the kitchen floor, put away the dishes, fold the laundry, or clean the windows. These are just examples, so try to look for things that you know your mom will appreciate.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making Mom Feel Good

1
Give your mom a compliment. Remember that your mom is a person too and not just your mother — simply recognizing this can go a long way.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Maggie Mitchell
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.} There are many, many things you can compliment her on. You can tell her that she looks pretty, or you can compliment her outfit, or hairstyle. You can also compliment her cooking, or how great the house always looks because of her.
- One good way to get on your mom's good side is to always compliment her cooking. Even if you don't really like what she made for you, you should still eat it. Tell her that she did a great job cooking, and that you really appreciate it.
2
Tell her that you love her and engage in meaningful conversation.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Maggie Mitchell
Life Coach
Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.} Don't just assume that your mom knows that you love her. This becomes especially important as you get older and less dependent on her. Remember that it isn't easy for moms to watch their babies grow up into adults who don't really need much from them anymore, and simply reminding her that you really love her will make her feel happy.
- You can tell your mom you love her anytime, but good times include when she drops you off for school and before you go to sleep at night.
- Remember that, although you don't have to talk about everything with your mother, telling her about your life is always a great idea so you can bond and offer each other support.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Maggie Mitchell
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.}
3
Give her a gift. It doesn't have to be something big or expensive. It can even be something homemade, such as a card or a goody bag. It's important to remember to do this on important days like her birthday and Mother's Day, but it's also a great idea to give a gift just to show her that you are thinking of her.
- Don't forget her birthday! Unless your family doesn't celebrate birthdays, your mom's feelings will probably be hurt if you forget about it, especially if she goes out of her way to make your birthday special.
- If you give her a gift for no reason, when you give it to her, you can say something like, “I made this for you because you've been working really hard lately, and I want you to know that I care.”
4
Remind her that she's a great mom. You don't need to do this every single day, but whenever you feel the urge to tell her, do it! It doesn't have to be a long, drawn out speech about all the good things you've done for her. You can simply just point out that your mom does a great job managing all the things that being a good mom requires, and that you don't take it for granted.^{[6]
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- For example, you can say, “I just wanted to tell you that I think you're the best mom anyone could ask for. You're always there for me, and it really means a lot.”
5
Make her laugh. For most moms, their children are the light of their lives, even if children sometimes cause stress. Do something that will make your mom laugh. Tell a silly joke or do a silly dance, dress up in a silly costume and parade around the house. Show her that even though you are growing up, you still enjoy laughing and being silly with her.
- Don't forget that moms like to have fun and be silly just as much as anyone.^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Maggie Mitchell
  Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 18 October 2021.}

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Behaving Well

1
Don't fight with your mom. Sometimes your mom will say or do things that you don't like. She might tell you that you can't do something that you want to do, and she may or may not give a good reason for why you can't. In these situations, it is easy to get angry, yell, and/or throw a tantrum. However, if you really want to get on your mom's good side, don't do this.
- Try to remind yourself that your mom is doing her best for you, and even if her reason for not letting you do something seems stupid to you, it probably makes sense to her.
- By behaving maturely, your mom will see that you are becoming a fully-formed, responsible adult. Thus, in the future, she might be more willing to let you do what you ask.
- If you really disagree with something, then talk with your mom about the matter respectfully. Before you approach her, make sure you have gone through all the reasons you disagree with something so that she'll see you're not just approaching her because you're angry.
2
Do as she asks you to the first time. For most moms, they feel like they spend most of their day nagging children to do something, and this can feel draining and frustrating for them. If your mom has asked you to do something, try to get it done right away. If there is a reason that you can't do it right away, tell her why, and let her know that you'll get to it as soon as possible.
- For example, if she asks you to clean up your room, but you have a TV show coming on in 5 minutes that you really want to see, just tell her the truth. Say, “Mom, I know I need to clean up my room, and I promise to get straight to it in about 30 minutes, but my favorite TV show is about to come on. Can I please watch it first?”
- Complete the task without complaining about it. Complaining will only make your mom feel annoyed.
3
Keep your grades up. Most moms really want their children to do well in school. If your grades aren't so great at the moment, take steps to improve them. Stop goofing off during class, and instead, listen to the teacher. Complete assignments as they are assigned, and be sure to turn them in on time. Study for tests so that you will do well.
- If you are struggling with a concept that you are learning, get help. Go talk to your teacher after class and explain that you are struggling, they may be able to offer extra help or at least direct you to a tutor who can help you.
- You can also ask your mom for help with homework if you think she would enjoy helping you.
4
Don't fight with your siblings. Fighting children can be a real source of stress for parents. If you don't get along with your siblings, this can be tough, but do your best to avoid fighting with them whenever possible. If they are doing something that is bothering you, try to get away from them without yelling or hitting them.
- This is especially true if you're the oldest. As the oldest, your mom probably expects you to be the most mature of your siblings.
- You can even try to help out your siblings when they need it. If your mom sees that you are being kind and helpful to them when you normally fight with them, she will be really impressed.

Expert Q&A

Question

What is the best thing to do for your mom?

Rebecca Kason, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Rebecca Kason is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist licensed in both New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Dr. Kason treats clients struggling with emotional dysregulation, behavioral disorders, interpersonal difficulty, family conflict, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from The University of Delaware and a Master's degree in Applied Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Kason completed an APA accredited internship at Mount Sinai Services. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and Association for Behavior and Cognitive Therapy.

Rebecca Kason, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Try to be there for her when she's having a rough time. Ask her how you can help and support her, and give her options if she doesn't provide you with an answer. For instance, you might volunteer to give her some space or offer a listening ear.

Warnings

Don't do these things just to get what you want. Yes, it can be helpful to be nice to your mom in order to get to do the things you want, but it is also manipulative. Be kind to your mom because she deserves it.

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