How to Get a Virgo Man

Co-authored by Stina Garbis

Last Updated: December 21, 2022

Some people believe your astrological sign can impact many aspects of your personality, including the type of people you are drawn to romantically. While there is no evidence that astrological signs impact personality, you can try looking to the stars for guidance when chasing a Virgo man. This will work best if the man in question displays typical traits of a Virgo, like intensity, passion, and intellectualism — get to know the person and see if he has these traits. Work on cultivating a more serious, intelligent personality. Make a good first impression by dressing conservatively and avoiding overt displays of emotion. In the relationship, have patience. A Virgo man has discriminating tastes, so he may take awhile to make a commitment.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Deciding If You're Compatible

1
Figure out if he has the personality of a Virgo. Don't assume your man has all the traits of a Virgo just because he was born between August 23 and September 22. While it can be fun and interesting to take someone's sign into account, don't trust astrology over what you can learn with your own eyes and ears. Observe and talk to the man you are interested in and get to know his personality, and see if it fits with what you are looking for in a partner. It should also be said that you shouldn't have to change yourself or pretend to be something you're not in hopes of attracting a Virgo. Be yourself, and evaluate whether or not this person's values and interests align with yours.
- You might make a game of this with your man. Say something like, "I think astrology is really fun, and I noticed you are a Virgo. They're supposed to be intellectual, a little conservative, polite, hardworking, and intense. Do you think any of those apply to you?"
2
Notice if he's interested in current affairs. Virgos are thought to prefer people who can carry on an intellectual discussion. If this sounds like your man, you may want to read up on what is going on in the world and strike up a conversation about the latest happenings.^{[1]
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- Read the news regularly. Try downloading a few apps on your phone, like apps put out by the New York Times, that send you regular updates about recent news stories.
- Watch the news. Put CNN on in the background while you cook dinner, or turn on a radio show that talks about current events.
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3
Let him see your funny side. The "typical" Virgo man is considered serious by nature, so he may be drawn to someone who can get him out of his head. See how he responds to your sense of humor. You should be able to introduce a joke into a situation to lighten the mood.^{[2]
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- As you get to know your man's sense of humor, start out with jokes that aren't too edgy or raunchy. If raunchy is your sense of humor, that's fine, and you don't have to change it for him, but it's best to feel things out a little before launch into a naughty limerick or off-color jokes.
- Start with lighthearted, observational jokes. Work on making jokes about the weather that day, or make cute puns from time to time.
4
Pay attention to good manners. It's important to always be respectful to others, and this may be especially important to a Virgo. If you notice your Virgo is somewhat conservative himself, you may find that classic good manners go a long way in attracting a Virgo man.^{[3]
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- Remember the manners your parents taught you as a child. Use terms like "please," "thank you," and "excuse me." If you're at a restaurant, take extra care to be courteous to the wait staff. Do not yell or snap when frustrated by the bill or your food. Pick up after yourself and be conscientious of cleanliness and hygiene.
- If you are a more boisterous, loud personality, and this seems to offend your conservative partner, think about if this is a partnership you really want. You shouldn't have to change yourself to be with someone, so if the guy would prefer being with someone a little more demure or quiet, he's probably not the one for you. On the other hand, your rambunctious personality may help him loosen up a bit. The important thing is to just be yourself while being respectful of others.
5
Discuss your work ethic. Notice if your Virgo is intense and works hard. Someone with this personality may be turned off by people he considers lazy or complacent. If you also work hard in all your pursuits, you and this Virgo may be a good match.^{[5]
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- If you have a job, for example, strive to be the best employee you can. Pay close attention to small details, be on time every day, and use downtime to learn more about your company. This can be particularly helpful if you're trying to attract a hard worker in your office.
- Work hard in other areas. Keep a neat home and engage in hobbies.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making a Good Early Impression

1
Plan dates around intellectual activities. Going to a museum or seeing a play would be the ideal date for a Virgo man. They prefer intellectual conversation, so anything that could provoke an interesting discussion would be a great first date for a Virgo. Just make sure it's something you are interested in, too.
- Browse the cultural enclaves of your location. Are there any museums or planetariums? Is there a local theater troupe?
- Cater to your individual Virgo's taste. If he loves art, for example, take him to a local art museum or art show. If he's fascinated by science, go see a documentary about evolution together.
2
Play it somewhat coy. The typical Virgo is thought to be a little slow to show emotion. You may want to try to be subtle in your emotions if your guy has this trait, but if you're a naturally emotional, affectionate person, don't feel pressured to behave in a way you're not comfortable. Do what feels natural, and watch the guy for cues. If he's uncomfortable with your level of emotion, you may want to dial things back until you get to know each other better. When a bond is built, a Virgo man will enjoy displays of affection, but you have to win him over first.^{[6]
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- Respect his boundaries. If this guy likes to take it slow, then you can slow your pace to match his. It's important to watch his body language, or even ask him outright — "Is this okay?" Some people take longer to decide if they want to be physical or enter a relationship with someone, so respect this feeling and take it slow.
- Play it cool during communication. Make sure he knows you're interested by returning texts and phone calls, but avoid being too excited. Go for a response like, "Thanks for inviting me out. I look forward to it." A more enthusiastic response, like, "I can't wait to see you!" may put off a Virgo man.
3
Strive for neatness when you're together. Virgo men tend to veer on the side of perfectionism, and may be turned off by messy partners. If you are a neat and tidy person who pays attention to the details, then you and this Virgo may be well-matched; however, if organization and tidiness is not your style, he may not be the one for you.
- Make sure your clothing is clean. Do not wear anything with stains or holes. If you have cats or dogs, make sure to run a lint roller over your clothes prior to going out. You want to make sure you remove any loose hairs.
- When out to eat, eat slowly and avoid slurping or spilling your food. Keep your napkin on your lap at all times.
- If you invite your Virgo man over, keep your place clean. A Virgo may be turned off by a floor that needs sweeping or a sink full of dirty dishes.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Maintaining the Relationship

1
Discuss your values. While your Virgo may perfectly fit the description of his sign, you still should not make assumptions about what is important to him or what his values are. As with any partnership, take the time to find out what is important to your man in a relationship and decide if they fit with what is important to you, too. You may find you disagree on major points, such as having children or have very different communication styles. Be direct and honest about what you both want from a relationship.
- For instance, it would be a mistake to assume that he wants a lot of alone time simply because he is an intense Virgo man. You can ask him, "Are you someone who needs a lot of 'me' time? Will you let me know when you feel you need a little space?" You may find that he actually prefers to be around people most of the time, contrary to the typical Virgo.
2
Have patience. Virgo men may be deep thinkers, and may take awhile to make a decision about a partner. If you're looking for a whirlwind romance, you might not get that from a Virgo man. It may take him awhile to commit, so strive for patience in the relationship.^{[7]
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- Do not pressure your Virgo man for a commitment early on.
- Do not get impatient. While the wait can be frustrating, remember that Virgo men are kind, loving, and loyal. You will have an extremely kind, caring significant other if you allow a Virgo man to come to you.
3
Allow him to pursue his own work. If your Virgo is passionate about his hobbies or work, it may be important for you both to be good at doing things independently and having a little "me" time. Virgo men do not do anything halfway, and a Virgo man is sure to put his all into any pursuits.^{[8]
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- A Virgo man may be very dedicated to work. Allow him to do his job without interference.
- If your Virgo man has hobbies, expect him to take them seriously. Try to support his passions. For example, your Virgo man may be on a sports team. Show up to his games and cheer him on. Even if sports aren't really your thing, it's nice to go and show support.
4
Be kind and loyal. If your man is a typical Virgo, he will be very dedicated to his partner, and he will expect as much in return. Virgo men also have very little patience for unnecessary drama. Be loyal to your Virgo man and not to bait him into unnecessary arguments.
- While you should never put aside your own feelings, try to avoid argument. If your Virgo man upsets you, approach him in a calm, kind fashion. Say something like, "Could I talk to you about something that bothered me? I just want to make sure we talk it out so it doesn't affect our relationship."
5
Accept his intensity. You can expect a Virgo man to be intense. This is just his nature, and it is unlikely to change. A Virgo man tends to take everything seriously, including your relationship. Once he's ready to commit, he will be intense about the commitment. This can be a good thing, as you'll have a loving and loyal partner, but he will also be intense about work, school, and hobbies. You need to accept this to be with a Virgo.^{[9]
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- Allow your Virgo man the time he needs to pursue his passions. He may get very serious about matters that seem silly to you, but try to accept this. It is just in his nature. If you aren't interested in the same things, take that time to pursue your own passions.
- Remember, his intensity will ultimately benefit you. You want a partner who's intense about you, as this will spell out a long term commitment.

Expert Q&A
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Question

What do Virgos like in Scorpios?

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer
Reverend Stina Garbis is a Psychic Astrologer and the Owner of Psychic Stina. With over 30 years of experience, she specializes in providing personal and professional advice through astrology and tarot card readings. Reverend Stina has experience working with high-profile celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and CEOs. She has been featured in many publications, including Bustle, Vice, The New York Post, and Readers’ Digest and she also has a 200k+ following on TikTok. Stina holds an Ordained Minister License from The International Metaphysical Ministry University Seminary.

Stina Garbis

Psychic Astrologer

Expert Answer

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Virgos usually have a natural pull towards the secretive Scorpio sign! They like to unravel mysteries and also have a few of their own. If you're a Scorpio, try being mysterious and not completely upfront about everything, as this will give the Virgo a chance to become interested and want to know more about you.
Question

Is a movie a good date idea for a Virgo?

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.

Jessica Lanyadoo

Astrologer & Psychic Medium

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It depends on the movie! Virgos like to be intellectually stimulated, so an intriguing drama might be better than a comedy. You should also plan on talking to them about the movie afterwards.
Question

Are a Virgo woman and a Virgo man compatible?

Community Answer

If you display a lot of the same traits, this may be a good thing. Having a lot in common can help the relationship along. However, as Virgos tend to be intense and passionate, this can potentially be a negative. You may have trouble making time for one another, and may both have a tendency to take things very seriously. Try dating and see how it goes. If you're not right for each other, you can end the relationship and pursue someone more compatible.