How to Find out if a Guy Has a Girlfriend

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: December 10, 2022 References

Sometimes guys can be confusing as to whether they might like you or if they have a girlfriend. It’s good to find out if the guy you’re crushing on is taken or not. But it’s also important to find out if the guy you’ve been casually dating has a girlfriend that you don’t know about. Pay attention so that you can avoid drama and heartache.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Watching How He Acts Around You

1
Listen to how he talks around you. Guys don’t always make it obvious when they’re in a relationship. But pay attention if he uses pronouns like “we” and “us” when talking about his past weekend or upcoming plans as there may be another girl in the picture. He may also talk a lot about a certain girl without ever explaining that they’re exclusively together.
- If a guy refuses to flirt back with you it either means that he’s not interested in you or has a girlfriend, or both.
- Some guys are notoriously flirty or charming to everyone they meet, even if they have a girlfriend. Don’t get swept up in the fun of flirting until you know a guy is single.
- A guy can still be nice and courteous to you even if they have a girlfriend. Don’t mistake niceness and politeness for flirting.
2
Pay attention to the body language he uses around you. Some guys are very physical with everyone they like, but guys with girlfriends will often refrain from being touchy with other girls. He may only hug his guy friends or female relatives. If he avoids your attempts to hug him or sit close to him then he might be taken.^{[1]
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- Don’t force him to hold your hand, hug you, or do anything physical if you notice that he turns away or back away from you. You don’t want to seem like a home wrecker if he’s in a relationship.
- He might give hugs or high fives to everyone, regardless of having a girlfriend so don’t use this as your only gauge for determining if he has a girlfriend.
- If you notice that he deliberately avoids being alone with you, it may be that he’s worried about keeping his reputation as a taken guy.
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3
Decide if he has put you in the friend zone. A guy usually reserves his time and romantic efforts for a girlfriend. If the guy you’re interested in treats you like one of the guys and doesn’t seem to set aside time to hang out with you, he might be taken. For example, a guy will deliberately introduce you as his friend to other people or call you “dude,” “bud,” “pal,” or any other non-committal nickname to label you as just a friend.
- Girlfriends usually have the privilege of a guy’s time on weekend nights. If you can never schedule time with the guy it could be because he reserves most of his free time for his girlfriend.^{[2]
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- He might mention special events or time spent with family that he’s attending without inviting you. It’s possible that he is going with a girlfriend who usually takes priority.
4
See if he treats you like a secret. If you’re dealing with a guy who you suspect is cheating on his girlfriend and you’re the “other woman,” observe him carefully. Changing your name in his phone, giving you shady answers about where he’s been or is going, or restricting when you can call or text him might mean that he’s trying to hide you from a girlfriend.^{[3]
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- If he hasn’t introduced you to his friends, family, or coworkers, it could be that he doesn’t want anyone to know that you’re in the picture.
- It’s may not be your place to alert the girlfriend that this guy is cheating on her. It may backfire on you. Back out of the situation so that you’re not part of the problem.
5
Determine how he spends his time. Generally a guy will spend the majority of his free time with his girlfriend. However, if hanging out with you or his guy friends takes up most of his schedule, he might not have other priorities. When you ask him what his evening or weekend plans are and he's free, it may be that he doesn't have a steady girlfriend.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Observing How He Acts Around Others

1
Check his social media pages. One of the easiest ways to subtly find out if a guy is in a relationship is to check his Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram profiles.^{[4]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.} See if he mentions hanging out with a specific girl more than usual or posts photos with a certain girl. You can also simply check his profile descriptions to see is he mentions being in a relationship.
- Check his friends’ pages as well. Sometimes a guy won’t post photos of a relationship, but you can check his mutual friends and followers’ pages to see if they posted pictures of him with another girl.
- Be careful not to ‘like’ or accidentally comment on any old pictures or posts of his. He’ll get a notification that you’re stalking him.
- Although its increasingly unusual, it is possible that your guy may not have a social media page, in which case it may be more beneficial to check his friend's pages to see if they posted any information about the guy.
2
Check his phone for evidence of a girlfriend. Guys are just as guilty as girls when it comes to keeping pictures and messages of a special girl in their life. You can ask to borrow his phone and surreptitiously scroll through his photo albums and texts to see if he has a girlfriend.
- Say that your phone's battery died and you have to make a call if you're trying to avoid being suspicious.
- Don’t abuse his privacy. If you sneak through his phone or log onto his social media profiles without permission, you could get caught. It’s never a good idea to be invasive and stalk someone’s life.
3
Watch to see if he checks out other girls. Guys who are in a relationship rarely pay a whole lot of attention to other women. A faithful boyfriend won’t check out other girls as they walk by or make comments about a woman’s appearance to his friends.^{[6]
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- On the other hand, if you have evidence that he might have a girlfriend but still hits on other women, he might be a cheater, so be wary.
- If he gives out his number to other girls, he may be single. Your only challenge is to catch his attention.
4
Pay attention to his flirting. If your crush seems to flirt with any girl including you, he might be single. But some guys are charming and witty no matter who they're talking to. It can be easy to confuse being nice for flirting. He might have a girlfriend but still treat everyone with individualized attention.
- Don't confuse being nice and funny with flirting. The main difference is that flirting usually involves physical touch and subtle hints about something more than friendship.
5
Ask his friends. Sometimes a guy is just really hard to read or is very private about his life. Find one of his friends and ask them if your crush has a girlfriend. Slip the question into a conversation to be subtle, or just outright message one of his friends if you want to be direct.^{[7]
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- Try to be subtle when asking. You can say things like, “What does your friend do with all of his time?” or make a joke like, “Oh where’s he going, got a hot date?”
- Be aware that your questioning may make it back to the guy you’re interested in. Guys talk among themselves just as much as girls.
- However, if your interest is single, tipping him off that you like him and have been talking to his friends is a way to get his attention.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Asking Him Outright

1
Ask him in person if he has a girlfriend. If you still can’t find out if he is dating another girl, ask him outright. Avoid texting, instant messaging, or anything electronic because it’s important that you’re able to hear how he reacts to your question.
2
Wait for a good time to ask. If you're hanging out with a group of people you shouldn't delve into someone's personal relationship status. Be patient and wait until it's just the two of you to inquire about any girlfriend. You don't want to make him uncomfortable by making his personal life public in front of people.
3
Be direct when asking him about a possible girlfriend. Try not to beat around the bush when you ask to avoid making things too awkward.^{[8]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.} You could say, “I've been meaning to ask you, do you have a girlfriend?” As long as you keep your tone casual, he shouldn't feel pressured by your question.
- You could always ask the question playfully. Try saying, "You seem like such an awesome guy. How do you not have a girlfriend?"^{[9]
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  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.}
- If he doesn’t and has been oblivious that you have a crush on him, he may notice your interest when you ask him about his relationship status.
- Don’t worry too much if he says yes. There will always be other guys, not all the good ones are taken.
4
Notice if he avoids your question. It’s not a good sign if he doesn't answer you with a simple “yes” or “no.” Any hint of caginess or nervousness is not a good sign. If he stumbles over his words or tries to give you an excuse, he’s probably in a complicated situation. It’s best to stay away from a guy who isn't honest anyways.^{[10]
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- If he’s outright and honest, then you have a clear answer. But if he hesitates, take that as a red flag that he may be hiding his relationship.
5
React respectfully and maturely no matter the answer he gives. Finding out that a guy you’re interested in is taken can be a tough blow. But keep cool when he gives you an answer, whether it’s positive or negative.
- If he has a girlfriend, don’t have a meltdown in front of him. Or at least wait until you’re alone to be emotional about a missed opportunity so you can save face.
- The best news would be if he’s single. Respond with something like, “Oh, well that’s interesting” to maintain your mysteriousness and not reveal your hand that you're interested in him.
- No matter how much you like a guy, it’s not worth breaking up a relationship just so you can try and date him.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do guys hint that they like you?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

He might have a really relaxed, bouncy way about him. Flirting and light touches are also signs that he's interested.
Question

How do you tell if he secretly has a girlfriend?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Take a look at his social media posts to see what's going on. Pay close attention to who he takes pictures with—does it look like they're saying something with these posts?
Question

How do you indirectly ask a guy if he has a girlfriend?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you don't want to ask it directly, ask about his life during the week or about the people he hangs out with. These probing questions will probably inform you of his relationship status.