How to Deal With a Pregnant Mother

Co-authored by Wendy Powell

Last Updated: December 11, 2022 References Approved

Dealing with a pregnant mother can be a new and stressful experience, and it may seem like things are constantly changing. Whether you are excited or not sure how you feel about a new brother or sister, here are some ways to help manage this busy time.

Method 1

Method 1 of 5:

Handling Your Emotions

1
Remember that everything you are feeling is normal. Whether you are angry, scared, upset, anxious, jealous, or even just completely excited, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling. Change, whether you consider it to be good or bad, is very stressful, and you can feel lots of different things at lots of different times—or all at the same time!
- Pregnancy and the birth of a child can be some of the most stressful times in a person’s life.^{[1]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  American Institute of Stress
  Non-profit organization providing resources on stress-management in education, research, clinical care, and the workplace.
  Go to source} Your life is in transition right now, and transitions are not always easy.
2
Talk about it. Find a close friend or an adult you trust to talk about what you are feeling. A supportive person will listen without judgment and will not tell you to feel a certain way.

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3
Tell your mom how she can help support you. Maybe you are stressed about taking on extra responsibilities in the house, or sick of always hearing about the new baby. Let her know what is bothering you in a respectful way. Instead of telling her what she's doing wrong, say "I feel _____".
- Instead of saying, “You always talk about the baby! You don’t care about my life!” try saying, “Sometimes I feel like all you talk about is the baby coming. I’d like to talk about my life with you, too. I miss talking to you.”
- Instead of saying, “You make me do everything around here!” try saying, “I know you’re tired and there’s a lot to do right now, but I am feeling overwhelmed by everything you are asking of me. Can we come up with a list of ways I can help you out and stick to those?”
4
Write it down. Keeping a journal during this time can help you work through some difficult emotions. This is also a good option if there is not someone available to talk to.^{[2]
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5
Understand this is tough for your mom, too. Being pregnant isn’t easy. Your mom may feel sick, tired, sore, overwhelmed, anxious, and more. Plus, she is still dealing with demands of her everyday life. Do your best to be patient with her.
6
Take it easy on yourself. Remember, you and your family are going through a transition. You are likely experiencing some stress as a result of this change, even if you are excited and happy about a new baby coming.
- Be aware of physical symptoms of stress, like an upset stomach or headache, and emotional symptoms, like feeling easily frustrated or overwhelmed. Make sure to talk to someone if you are feeling stressed out.^{[3]
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- Take a break. Find some ways to take a break from your family life if your mom’s pregnancy is getting to be too much to deal with. Go to a friend’s house, see a movie, get some exercise, read a book—do some of your favorite things to take your mind off it for a while.

Method 2

Method 2 of 5:

Getting through the First Trimester

1
Remember that your mom is exhausted. Try to be understanding that her body is working hard to adjust to the demands of pregnancy.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Wendy Powell
Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist
Expert Interview. 24 September 2020.} She might need to miss some of your activities to rest.^{[5]
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- Your mom might enjoy doing quiet activities with you. Try reading to her, drawing pictures with her, or watching movies together.
- Try inviting her to do quiet activities, without pressure. Say "Would you like to hang out, or do you need to rest?"
2
Don’t take her mood swings personally. Moodiness is common throughout pregnancy, but particularly in the first trimester. Combine this with exhaustion, and sometimes it might seem like all she does is snap at you. Be patient with her, but do not be afraid to talk to her if she has hurt your feelings.^{[6]
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- If she hurts your feelings, walk away. When she feels calmer, come back to her, and say "It hurt my feelings when you ______." This will help her know to try not to do it again.
3
Help with her stomachaches. The first three months of pregnancy can be a rough time as your mom’s body adjusts to being pregnant. The changes in hormones can make her sick to her stomach.\^{[7]
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Expert Source

Wendy Powell
Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist
Expert Interview. 24 September 2020.}
- Nausea and vomiting in pregnancy is called morning sickness. While morning sickness normally happens in the morning, every woman is different. She may also throw up in the evening or be nauseated all day long.^{[8]
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- You can help your mom feel better by finding food and drinks that settle her stomach. Ginger ale, saltine crackers, pretzels, and peppermint tea are some suggestions, but ask your mom what works for her!^{[9]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 5:

Adapting in the Second Trimester

1
Try to enjoy the second trimester. Things may feel more “normal” during these three months, as your mom may find her energy level increasing and morning sickness dissipating. You will also notice her starting to look pregnant. If you are interested, there are lots of way to be a part of this time.
- Feel the baby kick. Most women start to feel the baby kick around 16 weeks of pregnancy.^{[10]
  X
  Research source} You might be able to feel the baby kicking from the outside when your mom is around 20 weeks pregnant.^{[11]
  X
  Research source} Ask her to tell you when it is kicking and if it’s okay to touch her belly.
- Go to an ultrasound appointment. Your mom will likely have an ultrasound/sonogram when she is around 20 weeks pregnant. An ultrasound technician will take pictures of your sibling for you to see. If she wants to, she will likely be able to find out the sex of the baby at this appointment. You will learn if you are having a brother or a sister!
2
Find her favorite foods. It’s true, pregnant women have very strong cravings for certain foods! Maybe you can find her favorite ice cream, bring home dinner from her favorite Chinese place, or make her the sandwich she wants while she is resting on the couch. You will make her day!
3
Do something special with your mom. Because this is generally the “easiest” trimester, your mom will have more energy and not be so uncomfortable yet.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Wendy Powell
Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist
Expert Interview. 24 September 2020.} Plan an outing to a favorite restaurant or activity. Take some time to bond with her now, because it will be hard for her to find the time for a while after the baby is born.

Method 4

Method 4 of 5:

Getting Ready in the Third Trimester

1
Let her rest. The exhaustion that your mom had at the beginning of pregnancy has probably come back. Unfortunately, insomnia is common at this stage, and so is discomfort due to the baby’s size, so it will likely be hard for her to get good sleep.^{[13]
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Research source} Give her permission to take a nap if needed.
- Mood swings and just general grumpiness have probably come back.^{[14]
  X
  Research source} She is uncomfortable and not sleeping well. Do your best to remind yourself (and her) that this is temporary.
2
Get everything ready. Have you noticed how much stuff babies need? You can help make things a little easier on your mom by offering to help her prepare for your little brother or sister’s arrival. There is a lot to be done. Here are some ways you can help:
- Help prepare the nursery. This could be anything from painting the room, putting together a piece of furniture, or washing and putting away baby clothes.
- Throw a baby shower. Help plan a party for her family and friends to celebrate this exciting time.
- Help her pack her hospital bag.
3
Be prepared for nesting. Before the baby’s birth, you may notice your mom bustling about, getting the house perfectly clean, cooking meals for after the baby comes, or tackling a big project. This burst of energy is called nesting. It’s very common for a pregnant mom to want everything to be just perfect for the baby’s arrival.^{[15]
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Research source} Be patient with her, and try to find some humor in it.

Method 5

Method 5 of 5:

Adjusting to the New Baby

1
See if you can visit. Your mom may stay at the hospital for 10-12 hours with the baby after the birth. Find some time to visit and meet your new sibling!
2
Get ready for a tired mom. They call it “labor” for a reason: having a baby is hard work! If you visit your mom after she has the baby, she will probably look pretty exhausted.
- When your mom and the new baby come home from the hospital, she will spend a lot of time resting. She will be tired, because new babies are up a lot during the night.
- If you can, offer to watch the baby so she can take a nap.
3
Understand that you will not be the center of attention. Your mom will spend a lot of time taking care of the baby and bonding with them. You may feel like you are not important to your mom. ^{[16]
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- Ask your mom to set aside some time for just the two of you each day. Be willing to be flexible, however. New babies are not good with schedules!
- Your family may have lots of visitors to welcome the new baby. The new baby may get a lot of attention, and a lot of presents. It is normal to feel jealous. Let your family know if you feel left out.
- Try asking for your old baby books or videos of you as a baby. This way, you can see how your parent(s) cared for you when you were a baby.
4
Be an awesome older sibling. Nothing makes a parent happier than seeing a special bond form between siblings. (It’s normal if this takes a while, though.) Hold, play with, and talk to the baby. You may even want to welcome the baby with a special gift!
- Newborns might not be able to play very much. Try asking your parents how you can play with your little sibling.

Expert Q&A

Question

What's the toughest semester?

Wendy Powell
Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist
Wendy Powell is a Maternal Health and Exercise Specialist and the Founder and CEO of MUTU System, the world's best-selling, medically recommended online fitness education program for mothers. Wendy specializes in pregnancy, post-baby recovery, postpartum exercises, fitness education, and body confidence. Wendy works to shift the conversation on women's bodies towards equality and empowerment for health, confidence, and power. She is a published author, international speaker, and award-winning entrepreneur. Wendy is on the Women's Development Board of the MicroLoan Foundation and is a frequent contributor to the BBC. MUTU System has been featured in Vogue, the Huffington Post, Fox News Health, Daily Mail, and The Guardian, and is recommended by Hollywood Trainer, Jeanette Jenkins.

Wendy Powell

Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist

Expert Answer

The first semester is usually when the body has the toughest time adjusting. Outside of the few weeks leading up to labor, that's when you see the most morning sickness and nausea.
Question

Should my pregnant mother take it easy, or keep moving?

Wendy Powell
Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist
Wendy Powell is a Maternal Health and Exercise Specialist and the Founder and CEO of MUTU System, the world's best-selling, medically recommended online fitness education program for mothers. Wendy specializes in pregnancy, post-baby recovery, postpartum exercises, fitness education, and body confidence. Wendy works to shift the conversation on women's bodies towards equality and empowerment for health, confidence, and power. She is a published author, international speaker, and award-winning entrepreneur. Wendy is on the Women's Development Board of the MicroLoan Foundation and is a frequent contributor to the BBC. MUTU System has been featured in Vogue, the Huffington Post, Fox News Health, Daily Mail, and The Guardian, and is recommended by Hollywood Trainer, Jeanette Jenkins.

Wendy Powell

Maternal Health & Exercise Specialist

Expert Answer

It depends on where you are in your pregnancy, but generally speaking, you want to keep doing whatever your body is used to early on. It's not the time to start an intense exercise program or anything like that, but you absolutely want to exercise and stay active. It's not good to go too far in one direction or the other.