How to Cope with Anxiety About Death

Co-authored by Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT

Last Updated: February 5, 2023 References

Believe it or not, you can become more at peace with death, whether it is the idea of your own death, a loved one's death, or a pet's death. You may also become more comfortable with the circumstances of someone else's death, such as suicide, disease, or old age. When dealing with your anxiety, return the present moment to help calm your mind and your body. Start meditating and talking about death with other people. Reflect on your beliefs and your spirituality as a source of support and meaning. A therapist is always a welcome source of support and help if needed.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Dealing with Your Symptoms

1
Return to the present moment. Anxiety often happens when you're worried about the future, which means you're not taking advantage of the present moment. Return to the here-and-now by focusing on your body, which is always present, even when your mind is far away. Practice some mindfulness by engaging your senses. Bring awareness to one sense at a time, then move onto the next one.
- For example, start by noticing everything you hear and tune into the noises you often tune out. Do this for about a minute, then move onto your sense of smell. Pay attention to any smells you encounter and do this for another minute. Focus on each sense one at a time until you finish.
2
Take some deep breaths. If you're feeling anxious and cannot seem to get your mind off of death, pull back a moment and focus on your breath. Breathing is an easy way to refocus yourself and enter a calm state in your body and mind. It's one of the easiest ways to slow down and regroup.
- Try this: inhale for four seconds, hold it one two seconds, then exhale four seconds. Repeat until you feel calm, about six to eight breathing cycles.
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3
Meditate. While meditation is good for anxiety, you can meditate on death to help you feel more calm about it.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT
Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist
Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.} Get in a calm, relaxed state by sitting down, closing your eyes, then start your meditation. Imagine yourself on your deathbed and talking to the people you love most. What would you say?^{[2]
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- During your meditation, focus on the happy and positive aspects of life and recognize that change (including death and birth) is an inevitable part of life.
- If you're new to meditation, try downloading a guided meditation app. There are even apps with guided meditations focused specifically on the fear of death that may be helpful.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT
  Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist
  Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.}

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Getting Help and Support

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Talk about it. Especially if you're actually nearing the end of your life, it can be helpful to talk about the fears you have about death and dying. It can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is important to talk about. Find someone you trust and have a discussion with them. Let them know how you feel and what you think.^{[4]
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- Discussions about death and dying don't have to happen all at once. If you want to talk about death and dying, find someone who is willing to have an ongoing conversation with you.
2
See a therapist. If your anxiety about death consumes you and you feel like you cannot deal with it on your own, it might be time to see a therapist. A therapist can help you work through problems and help you confront your fears in a safe way. Especially if you're scared to talk to family or friends about your fears, a therapist can provide a confidential space for you to process your thoughts and emotions and help you build coping skills.^{[5]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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- Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or local mental health clinic. You can also get a recommendation from your physician, family, or friends.
3
Join a support group. Depending on your needs, you may wish to join an anxiety support group or a group for people confronting death. It can be helpful to talk to people who have similar feelings and fears as you do and realize that you're not alone. You can also give and receive advice, support, and encouragement.^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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- Find a support group by calling your local hospital or mental health clinic. You can also join an online support group.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Expanding Your Perspective on Death

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Enjoy life fully. Many people experience a close-call with death themselves or experience a loss that spurs them to enjoy life and live it fully. Whether this is your experience or not, it's never too late to give life your all and live fully. Do the things you want to do, even if they're scary. Live life on your terms and take control.
- Think of something you've always wanted to do, but feels scary to you. Challenge yourself to do it! Maybe you'll love it and pick up a new hobby, like paragliding or dance classes.
- Take big steps like traveling or starting a new career. Or you can take little steps, like talking to a stranger or trying a new restaurant.
2
Explore your spirituality. Much of spirituality centers around what happens after you die and gaining a sense of comfort in what happens after this life. Most spiritual traditions talk about what happens after death and not to fear it. If you're interested in spirituality, explore what feels right to you.
- You may wish to join a religious organization, attend meditation classes, or explore your options until you find one that fulfills you.
3
Ask other people. Many people have a fear of death, so it can be interesting to hear how they cope with it. Talk to people around you about their beliefs about death and how they cope with any anxiety. Ask them about their beliefs and how they help or hinder their attitude toward death.
- You can say, “I wonder about death and what will happen. Do you think about that, too? How do you deal with it?”
4
Consider your beliefs about death and afterlife. You might fear death because you don't understand it or fear not knowing. Much like the future, what happens in and through death in unknown. If you believe in a higher power, notice how your beliefs affect your attitude toward death. Ask yourself if you're living in a way that's aligned with your beliefs.
- If you don't know your beliefs about death, spend some time reflecting. What do you believe? How does that make you feel?
5
Accept your mortality. Thinking about death often makes people feel uncomfortable and even depressed. Yet, the more you think about death (even just five minutes each day for one week), the more comfortable you become and the less fearful you feel.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Ken Breniman, LCSW, C-IAYT
Licensed Clinical Social Worker & Certified Yoga Therapist
Expert Interview. 24 April 2020.} Be willing to enter into a space that is unfamiliar and scary knowing that you'll be okay and perhaps even grow from these thoughts and feelings.^{[8]
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- While thinking about death can initially make you feel depressed, over time it can help you lift your depression.