This article was co-authored by Beverly Ulbrich and by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Beverly Ulbrich is a Dog Behaviorist and Trainer and the Founder of The Pooch Coach, a private dog training business based in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is a Certified CGC (Canine Good Citizen) Evaluator by the American Kennel Club and has served on the Board of Directors for the American Humane Association and Rocket Dog Rescue. She has been voted the best private dog trainer in the San Francisco Bay Area 4 times by SF Chronicle and by Bay Woof, and she has won 4 "Top Dog Blog" awards. She has also been featured on TV as a dog behavior expert. Beverly has over 18 years of dog behavior training experience and specializes in dog aggression and anxiety training. She has a Master of Business Administration from Santa Clara University and a BS from Rutgers University.
There are 15 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If you and your boyfriend are discussing the possibility of getting a dog but your man just isn’t totally on board yet, you have plenty of options at your disposal. You can go the super logical route and try to construct a sound argument for why getting a dog makes sense, or you can bring his soft side out by appealing to his emotions. In this article, we’ll give you a plethora of options so that you can get your boyfriend to buy into the idea of bringing a new furry into your life!
Steps
Figure out why he doesn’t want a dog.
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If he’s got a specific issue with dogs, there may be a way around it. Dogs are downright lovable, so people who don’t like dogs usually have a specific reason. If you’ve floated the idea of getting a dog and he wasn’t open to it, ask him why. This way, you can address his specific issue with a concrete solution. This alone might bring him over to your side.[1] X Research source
- If he’s worried about the costs, point out that you can offer to cut back on your spending habits to cover food and puppy supplies.
- If he’s concerned it’s too much work, you might emphasize that you’ll take the lead to train it.
Explain the health benefits.
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He may not realize the physical and emotional benefits of having a dog. Having a dog means you have to take them on walks and play with them, which gets you moving throughout the day. They can also help you maintain a regular schedule, since your morning and evening walks require a routine. There’s also a ton of evidence that animal companionship is good for your mental health. Spelling out the benefits may convince him to get a dog![2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- If you two ever spend long periods of time apart and your boyfriend gets bummed out, he may be happy to know that dogs can dramatically alleviate loneliness.[3] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
- If your boyfriend has any kind of issue with mood swings, anxiety, or depression, getting a dog can help alleviate those feels and bring him a sense of calm.[4] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Appeal to the fun factor.
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Nothing keeps the boredom at bay quite like playing with a pup. Unless you and your boyfriend are already as happy as you could possibly be, adding a dog to the equation is likely going to improve both of your moods. Puppy play time is also a great way to destress. Point out how fun it would be to have a puppy fall asleep on your chest, or wrestle with a big goofy dog.[5] X Research source
- Seeing and interacting with dogs actually causes (most) people to produce oxytocin, the hormone in your brain responsible for social bonding, relaxation, and calmness.[6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Tell him you’ll do all the work.
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He may be more open if he doesn’t need to get up for early walks. A lot of people get nervous about how much work a dog is. If your boyfriend is opposed to adding things to his “to do” list every day, simply promise to take care of the dog. You really want the pup, so it’s likely you’d be volunteering to walk it every day anyways, right?[7] X Trustworthy Source American Kennel Club The American Kennel Club (AKC) is a purebred dog pedigree registry in the United States. The AKC advocates for the responsible ownership of dogs and promotes purebred dog events, such as the Westminster Dog Show. Go to source
- You could explain that you’d do the research when it comes to finding a dog and picking a vet.
- You might promise to train the dog, or find a trainer for the dog without your boyfriend’s help.
Offer to cover the expenses.
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If you happen to share finances, tell him you’ll save up on your own. A lot of people worry about the costs associated with a dog. If your boyfriend doesn’t want to pay anything and you have separate bank accounts, tell him you’ll pay for it yourself. If you share finances, you could always save up over time to afford all of the upfront costs.[8] X Research source
- There are some upfront costs when you’re getting a dog. You’ll need a crate, treats, toys, leash, and initial checkups at the vet. You can save a ton by adopting a pet that’s already spayed/neutered, though!
- Food and treats will typically cost you around $250-700 a year.[9] X Research source
- Medical expenses can vary depending on the health of your dog, but you can plan on spending at least $700 a year for routine medical checkups.[10] X Trustworthy Source American Kennel Club The American Kennel Club (AKC) is a purebred dog pedigree registry in the United States. The AKC advocates for the responsible ownership of dogs and promotes purebred dog events, such as the Westminster Dog Show. Go to source
Send him plenty of cute dog photos.
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Use memes, videos, and gifs to help your boyfriend see the light. Your boyfriend may get on board if he looks at a bunch of cute dogs, the same way you might get a craving for pizza if you keep looking at photographs of delicious slices. When he’s out and about, text him cute gifs of cuddly dogs. Show him photos and videos you stumble on of dogs doing something funny or adorable. It might make a huge impact over time![11] X Trustworthy Source American Kennel Club The American Kennel Club (AKC) is a purebred dog pedigree registry in the United States. The AKC advocates for the responsible ownership of dogs and promotes purebred dog events, such as the Westminster Dog Show. Go to source
- You can even write it off like you’re just being playful. If he keeps asking why you’re sending him dog stuff, you might say, “Well, if I can’t get a dog I want to at least look at one 😊.”
Suggest a breed that placates his fears.
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Your boyfriend may be open if you look at breeds that meet his needs. If your boyfriend is hung up on some specific problem he imagines the dog will create, try to pick a specific dog breed that will help avoid this issue. If your heart is set on getting a husky but your boyfriend is worried about fur and barking, consider compromising with something shorthaired and a little quieter, like a French bulldog.[12] X Research source
- If allergies are an issue, look into terriers, schnauzers, and poodles. These breeds are typically easier on folks with a dog allergy.
- If you live in a smaller apartment or you’re a bit of a couch potato, look into getting an English bulldog, yorkie, bichon frise, or cavalier King Charles spaniel. They’ll still need regular exercise, but they won’t be pawing at the door all day trying to go play fetch in the park.
- If noise is a concern, Bernese mountain dogs, basenjis, and Shiba Inus are all known for not yapping or barking.
- If he’s worried about behavioral issues, boxers, English spaniels, poodles, and Shih Tzus are all known for being easy pups for first time owners.
Point towards the security benefits.
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If crime is a concern where you live, a dog will scare burglars away. You don’t even need a big dog—criminals will stay away from homes with small dogs in the window because they can make too much noise. This can be a great selling point if you and your boyfriend are especially nervous about crime, or you just want to make sure there are some watchful eyes around while you sleep.[13] X Research source
- If you and your boyfriend like to take walks but you’re worried about going out at night, muggers tend to avoid going after folks walking a dog.
Visit a shelter “just for fun.”
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Tell him, “We’re just going to look,” and see if he falls in love. You might ask your boyfriend to go with you to a shelter, just to look at the cute dogs, or to at least pet a pup if you can’t get one. When he’s there, he may just totally fall for one of the available dogs. It’s a lot harder to say no when the opportunity to adopt a furry friend is right there in front of you.[14] X Trustworthy Source American Kennel Club The American Kennel Club (AKC) is a purebred dog pedigree registry in the United States. The AKC advocates for the responsible ownership of dogs and promotes purebred dog events, such as the Westminster Dog Show. Go to source
- If you do this, don’t go to the shelter acting like you just want to look and then start pestering your boyfriend to adopt a dog. He won’t appreciate it, and he’ll push back reflexively. The goal here is to get him to realize he wants a dog on his own.
Try dog-sitting or fostering as a test run.
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If he’s on the fence, a practice run can show him it’ll be okay. Offer to dog-sit for a friend whenever they go out of town, or reach out to a local shelter and ask about fostering for them. This will give you and your boyfriend the opportunity to see what it’s like to have a dog in your home temporarily. If it doesn’t work out, no biggie. If it goes fine though, this may be all he needs to get a dog with you.[15] X Research source
- Keep in mind, dog-sitting may be a better place to start if you have zero experience with dogs. Fosters typically spend at least a few weeks with foster homes, and they may be with you for months at a time.[16] X Research source
Explain it as a stepping stone for the relationship.
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If he wants to have kids, a dog might be a way to test things out. People in relationships often get a dog before they take the next step towards a bigger responsibility. It’s a way of testing out whether you’re cut out for something as a couple (hint: you are). If he really wants kids or marriage but you aren’t quite so sure it’s time yet, tell him you want to get a dog first to see how things go![17] X Research source
- It’s totally okay to get a dog if you aren’t sure you’re ready for something more serious. This is an exceptionally common thing, and a dog can actually be really good practice if you want kids![18] X Research source
Tell him it will always be your dog.
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Some people worry about being stuck with a pup if things don’t work out. Even if there’s no sign at all that the two of you are going to break up, this is a pretty common anxiety among unmarried couples with dogs. He may be a little relieved if you just make it very clear that it’s your dog and that it will always be your responsibility. This way, he’ll know he won’t get stuck with a dog he never wanted if things get messy.[19] X Research source
- The reverse may be true as well (although it’s unlikely). If he doesn’t want it to be your dog, tell him it can be his if that’s what he wants!
- This may just be a boundary and responsibility thing for him. If he knows it’s always going to be your dog, he won’t freak out as much about being forced to take it on walks, or taking it to the vet.
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References
- ↑ https://www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/how-to-convince-someone-to-adopt-a-companion-animal/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4500685/
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31684914/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826684/
- ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/your-dog-can-make-you-feel-better-and-heres-why/2016/09/19/fde4aeec-6a2a-11e6-8225-fbb8a6fc65bc_story.html
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6826447/
- ↑ https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/advice/when-your-partner-doesnt-want-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.remixmagazine.com/lifestyle/heres-a-sure-fire-way-to-convince-your-partner-to-get-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.cnbc.com/2020/02/26/how-to-know-if-you-can-afford-to-own-a-dog.html
- ↑ https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/lifestyle/how-much-spend-on-dog-in-lifetime/
- ↑ https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/advice/when-your-partner-doesnt-want-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.avma.org/resources/pet-owners/petcare/selecting-pet-dog
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/aug/18/former-burglars-barking-dogs-cctv-best-deterrent
- ↑ https://www.akc.org/expert-advice/advice/when-your-partner-doesnt-want-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.onegreenplanet.org/animalsandnature/how-to-convince-someone-to-adopt-a-companion-animal/
- ↑ https://www.ccspca.com/dogs/foster-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.remixmagazine.com/lifestyle/heres-a-sure-fire-way-to-convince-your-partner-to-get-a-dog/
- ↑ https://www.fatherly.com/play/having-dog-prepares-you-for-having-kid/
- ↑ https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/nation/2019/05/14/woman-seeks-custody-dog-shared-ex-boyfriend/39480279/