How to Be a Better Person at School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: January 4, 2023 References

Becoming a better person at school involves working on being yourself, liking who you are, building relationships with others, and learning how to handle problems. Getting to know your likes and dislikes, and being proud of the person you are is key: it starts with thinking positively about you. Surrounding yourself with a great support system of friends, family, and positive role models is also important. Finally, working on exhibiting self-control and learning from the difficulties life hands you will keep you on the right track in school and beyond.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Yourself

1
Develop your sense of right and wrong. The world today is fast and impatient, but being a better person involves taking the time to work on your values. Decide what values and virtues are most important to you. Create a personal system of morals by joining clubs and organizations that will help you build your virtues, like a sports team, community service clubs, choir, or student government.^{[1]
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- Empathy, honesty, patience, humor, and perseverance are just a few examples of good values.
- Consider some clubs and activities that might help you develop values. For instance, joining a sports team can help you practice perseverance. Joining student government can help you develop dependability, and doing community service can help you cultivate empathy and generosity.
- Think about how you can put those qualities into practice throughout the school day. For example, if you think generosity is a good value, then find a way to really brighten someone’s day by sharing something that belongs to you.
2
Apply yourself at whatever you do. Making a genuine effort to do something is an important part of self-esteem and positive thinking. Put your best foot forward at school, in an extracurricular activity, or at work if you have a part-time job. Be able to say, “I studied my hardest and put all my effort into this,” even if your test score is a little less than you were hoping for.

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3
Work on time management. Work on your school work over time. Do your homework and study a little every day, rather than cram the night before the big test. Don't procrastinate on a big project, especially if it's a big portion of your final grade.
- You'll be less overwhelmed with your schoolwork in the long run, and will have time to deal with unexpected problems with the material you might face.
- If you have any trouble understanding something, never hesitate to get extra help. Ask your teacher to spend a little more time covering the material with you. See if your school offers peer tutoring services.
- Make a calendar so you can keep track of your homework, activities, and social engagements.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
- Try to schedule your hangouts on the weekends or weeknights where you don't have a test or project due on the next day.^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
4
Work on quiet confidence. Being confident in an understated way is a great way to approach your classes, after-school activities, and friendships. No one likes being around a show-off or someone who’s overconfident in a fake way, so don’t put others off by being too cocky. Just work on developing your self-esteem and an easygoing sense of pride: you are a unique person who has great qualities, interests, and talents and no one on Earth is exactly on you.
- Make decisions about your diet, how you schedule time for studying and activities, and exhibit self-control in your behavior in and out of school in order to gain a sense of independence. Independence can really help your self-esteem.
- Don’t be afraid to try new things or make mistakes: if you mess up, have the confidence to treat it as a learning opportunity!
- Be confident about your emotions: everyone has them, and everyone has to manage their emotional lives. Work on building your self-esteem so you can better manage positive and negative emotions.
5
Create your own style. Wear clothes and accessories that represent you and make you feel good. Know your own likes and dislikes, and express who you are. Dress for success: wear what not only makes you comfortable, but what makes you feel happy and ready to put your best foot forward.
- It doesn't need to be expensive, trendy, or flashy: your style should just make you feel confident and happy.
- Don't pretend to like something to get someone's attention. People being around will appreciate your different interests and want to get to know you better.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Creating Great Relationships

1
Create a diverse circle of friends. You can be friends with anyone you like, and having a diverse group of friends helps you learn a lot about other people. Do your best to not only be nice and friendly to everyone, but to build relationships with people outside of your comfort zone.^{[4]
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- Create a diverse circle of friends by reaching out to people regardless of their race, gender, what “clique” they fit into, or any other way that they might be different from you.
2
Be nice to everyone. Show kindness to everyone, whether or not you're friends with them. Even if you don't get along with someone or don't feel comfortable hanging out with them, show them respect and politeness. Don't be a bully or make fun of anyone.
3
Don’t talk badly about people behind their backs. It can be tempting to gossip, especially with close friends or people you trust.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.} It's best to avoid bad-mouthing though. Always assume that if you tell one person something, they’ll tell at least one other person. Before long, everyone will know what you said about so-and-so.
- It's always best to be authentic, genuine, and sincere: in other words, don't be two-faced.^{[6]
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4
Build a strong relationship with your parent or parents. Becoming a better person at school also involves your relationships with your family. Work on ways to build or improve your relationship with whoever is raising you. Talk to them about issues you face at school or with friends, and ask them for advice.
- Have clear and open conversations with them about how to be a better person.
- Try asking, “What do you think makes a great person?” or “How do you think I can work on being less angry, or stay calmer when something dramatic happens?”
5
Find a mentor. In addition to your parents, teachers, coaches, and other trusted adults can be positive role models. You can look to them for a good example, and they can offer you advice about how to deal with specific situations. Consider favorite teachers, coaches, or club moderators.^{[7]
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- Ask them questions about decisions they made when they were your age, and ask them to help you respond to problems with schoolwork or friendships. Ask for advice about particular things and let a mentor relationship develop naturally.
- Think about some really good people in your life who you look to as role models. What do you respect about them? What are their best qualities and values?
- Don't take on a stranger as a role model or mentor. It should be someone both you and your parents trust.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Dealing with Problems

1
Learn from mistakes. Don’t complain if something bad happens: lots of negative stuff will happen to you in life that’s beyond your control. In ten or twenty years you’ll be wishing your biggest problem was a fight with your best friend, or a bad decision you made at school! Take the time to learn from everything you face: whether something bad just came out of nowhere or you made a decision that had bad consequences.^{[8]
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- It can help to talk to a friend, parent, or mentor to get an outside opinion. Ask, “How did this decision bring about these consequences? What would have been a better course of action?”
- Don’t dwell if you messed up a friendship, failed a test, yelled at or said really hurtful things to someone, or anything else you might regret. There’s a difference between learning from a bad situation and obsessing over it. Learn from it, resolve the situation, then get over it and move on.
2
Accept rejection and celebrate success. Success and failure is part of being human. Whether you were accepted or rejected from a college or you asked someone to prom and they said no, you will face rejection in life. Handle both successes and failures with grace.^{[9]
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- Remember, whatever happens doesn’t control how you react. Only YOU control your reaction, so make the choice: do you want to let rejection or success control your behavior? Or do you want to be the one who decides how you feel?
3
Brush off bullies (and don’t be a bully). It’s a bit of a cliché, but people really do bully because they’re jealous or afraid. Bullies just want to pick on someone they think is vulnerable in order to look cool or cover up their own insecurities. Don’t retaliate or respond to bullies, and don’t be a bully yourself.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
- If you're being bullied, try saying something small and light-hearted first. If they make rude remarks again, tell them that they're not being nice before changing the subject.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Katie Styzek
  Professional School Counselor
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
- If you really feel like you’re getting picked on to the point that you feel endangered, it’s okay to ask for help. Talk to a parent, teacher, or mentor: ask them for advice about how to handle it yourself, or to help mediate the situation.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you fix low self-esteem?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Make a list of all the positive and helpful qualities that you bring to your school and to your classmates. You can even strike up a conversation with someone new to help build your confidence!
Question

How do you beat peer pressure?

Katie Styzek
Professional School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

Professional School Counselor

Expert Answer

Keep it brief. Say something like "no, thank you" and then walk away. You don't need to provide excuses or an explanation.
Question

What should you do if you get angry and can't help but cry?

Community Answer

Sometimes we can't help but cry when we're overwhelmed by our emotions! That's okay - you're human and you feel emotions and it's okay to cry, so don't bottle anything up. If you're at school or another situation where you don't want to cry in front of other people, just try to get outside of your own thoughts. You'll be tempted to focus on the thing that's making you angry or upset, but just concentrate on your breathing, thinking about an image that brings you comfort, and slow down and relax for a moment. Don't get caught up in your own emotions, even though they might be very powerful. Later on, take the time to talk to someone you can trust or get your emotions out in another healthy way - talking, exercise, listening to music, and so on.