How to Be More Interesting

Last Updated: February 25, 2023 References

No one is boring and no one needs to be perfect. But maybe you feel that you are boring and need to be more interesting. Being an interesting person is not hereditary but something that can be learned and practiced. It’s a characteristic that you have to regularly work on and develop through being who you are and getting in touch with something which is inside all of us. Being interesting also involves social interaction and the willingness to share our lives with others. If you're looking to be more interesting, then you've come to the right place.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Being More Interesting For Yourself

1
Loosen up and be natural. Relax. One reason why many people fail to become interesting and stimulating people is that they worry too much over the small things and don’t come across as natural. Their effort backfires on them, because they are just trying too hard. Try to stay relaxed and flexible. Take life one day at a time.
- Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't stress out if a class you wanted to take on the weekend is suddenly cancelled, for example. Instead, re-frame your thoughts to look ahead. Rather than get bummed out and dwell, find out when there's another class or plan something else to do.
2
Be positive and optimistic. Interesting people are happy people. This is one of the reasons why we find them so interesting; whether we admit it or not, we want to know how and why happy people are so happy. Moreover, no one really wants to be around a "Debbie Downer", a negative, unhappy person.
- Look for the positives in your life and become practiced in seeing the glass “half full." Feeling down because you never have plans on a Friday night? Instead of getting depressed, think of what you could do with that time: join a games night cafe, start a knitting club, etc. Sometimes disadvantages can turn into opportunities!
Advertisement
3
Build an open personality. Be available to the world and look for excitement instead of waiting for it to find you. Celebrate flexibility and a "just go with it" attitude.
- Oftentimes people aren’t interesting because they are reserved. Many people feel that they need to hold back in order to protect themselves. Of course, to some extent, this is true, but you can also take this too far. By holding back too much, you're limiting your potential and in the process becoming less interesting. The more reserved you get, the more static your life.
4
Expand your comfort zone. Being interesting means doing things you've never done before and being willing to share those experiences with other people. People who are boring and dull normally possess a very small comfort zone. So try to constantly expand your comfort zone and dare yourself to try new things; this is the quickest path to becoming more interesting.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- The more out of the ordinary experiences you have, the more of an interesting person you will become. People often "live through" the experiences of others. One person may not be ready to go skydiving but will feel in awe that you have and want to know all about it!
- Sign up for class about something you have never done before, like pottery or knitting, or participate in a sport you haven’t played before, like rugby.
- Try things you might not be great at, such as public speaking or improv. Learn to master these skills.
- Remember that the only way we can bring change and growth in our lives is by challenging the habits and behaviors we currently have. So push yourself to your limits and challenge yourself to improve and grow.
5
Fill up on knowledge. Being more interesting isn't about sitting around, but about living a varied life. You want to become the kind of person who has new things they can introduce to everyone.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Read widely. Read books on different topics by a range of different types of writers. Listen to podcasts. Keep up-to-date on what's going on in the world. Form your own opinions about the complicated world in which you live.
- Learn about your neighborhood. Seek out new places or revisit old haunts in your town. Make one weekend night a week a "going out" night where you explore the 'hood.
- Seek out interesting people. The people you spend time with affect your behavior. The Longevity Project, which studied over 1000 people from youth to death found that the groups you associate with often determine the type of person you become. So, if you want to be interesting, you need to surround yourself with dynamic people!^{[3]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  Go to source}
6
Hop off the bandwagon. If everyone else is doing it, you’re too late. Do your own thing, and others will follow. Plus, it's more fun to set the interesting trends than to simply follow them.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Be the leader of a crowd, not a follower. That shows you have confidence are someone worth knowing.
7
Embrace your innate uniqueness - and weirdness! This is quite possibly the most important point about becoming more interesting. No one is the exact same as anyone else. Every individual is precisely that - an individual. Everyone has quirks and insights unique to themselves. Don’t hide these things; these are what make you interesting.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- Don't underestimate how interesting certain quirky or intellectual aspects of you can be. You like reading history books? Embrace it, rather than see it as a nerdy pastime of interest to no one. You can impress people with your knowledge of some pretty esoteric topics.
- Wear something crazy and fun. People might laugh but it will make you interesting. Don't be afraid to stand out.
- Never feel as though you should have to change or hide who you are. Your quirks are what make you YOU. Becoming a more interesting person does not mean become someone else, but instead highlighting what it is about you specifically that is interesting. ^{[6]
  X
  Research source}

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Being More Interesting in Social Situations

1
Show up and talk. The author of the book on being interesting, literally titled How to Be Interesting, has said that the first step to being interesting is to actually show up. Go to things, socialize, meet people.^{[7]
X
Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- You can show up basically as an observer of other interesting people and let that be a learning experience for you, or you can show up and be a little bit more of the life of the party. But the main thing is to show up. Consider this part of the exploration process.^{[8]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  Go to source}
- If you're at a party, make a circuit of the room, or try something on the table you've never had before. Stepping out of your comfort zone like this instantly gives you something to talk about with another guest.
2
Be a good observer and a great listener. Remember, being interesting doesn't mean that you left the biggest impression, or that you're the one telling the story that grabs everyone's attention. Rather, it means that you left a positive impression on the people you interacted with or had a good conversation with them, and they want to get to know you.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Most captivating people are often good listeners. Impressing people can be great but it can also devolve into status jockeying, one-upmanship, and envy. People love to talk about themselves and all the while there is a dearth of good listeners. Let the other person talk. ^{[10]
  X
  Research source}
3
Talk about another person's interests. This is straight from Dale Carnegie's classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Ask people what they've been up to or what their hobbies are. Then talk about that. You've become interesting simply by showing an interest. If you know about the topic, the similarity will bond you. If you don't, ask them to explain and listen as they talk about something they love.^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
4
Have good stories ready to go. You should have at least three stories that reliably entertain, inform, and engage other people. Rehearse your "act" just like a comedian. Don't count on making up good "material" on the spot; comedians don't do this and neither should you.
- Keep in mind that people are generally more interested in stories about other people, rather than things. Human beings are fascinated by their own behavior. Capitalize on this. ^{[12]
  X
  Research source}
5
Learn to present what you have to say in an engaging manner. Being interesting is as much about how you say something as what you have to say. Two people can tell the same story, but one person can do it in a droning, boring way and the other in a punchy, engaging bit. You want to be the latter.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Everyone has certain things about them that people tend to ask about over and over. Common topics include work, school, family, recent trips, etc. It helps to have mini-speeches and stories prepared for these topics. That way, if someone asks, you'll have something ready to go.
- When you're speaking, words only account for 7 percent of what is conveyed. Voice tone and body language are far more important. Inject humor and personality into what you're saying. Laugh. Smile. Be passionate. Gesture.^{[14]
  X
  Research source}
- Think about the most interesting person you know; chances are that this person had a manner of being that drew you to them - were they relaxed or confident or outgoing or enigmatic? Try to replicate this.
6
Develop an instinct. Read other people. What you tell your parents about your recent trip to Europe will differ from what you tell new friends. If you notice people's attention wandering, try to switch it up, or ask a question.^{[15]
X
Research source}
7
Be brave. Bravery is needed to have contrary opinions and take unexpected paths. You don't have to be like everyone else and you shouldn't want to be. If you’re not courageous, you’re going to be hanging around the water cooler, talking about the guy who actually is.^{[16]
X
Research source}
8
Have fun! Play around. Don't be afraid to just be yourself.

Community Q&A

Question

What if I have nothing to talk about?

Community Answer

There's always something to talk about. Ask the person you're talking to about themselves - about their families, their interests, their hobbies, etc. Maybe you will find something you have in common, and you can talk about that.