How to Be Fired Gracefully

Last Updated: May 6, 2021 References

Your boss calls you into his/her office, closes the door, and says, "...we're not happy with your performance on this job, so we're terminating your employment. Go clean out your desk and report to HR for your exit interview and final paycheck." What is the best way to deal with this situation while maintaining your dignity?

Steps

1
Take a minute (or five) to get over the shock and get your brain working again. Breathe. If you feel like crying, go ahead - it won't change the situation but it will help you cope better if you can unload the emotion.^{[1]
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2
Think about this in the right way. Your first impulse might be to assume you're a bad employee, a bad person or a complete failure, but this is just the panic talking. Instead say to yourself, "I've been in a job that wasn't a good match for me." This is important -- it's not the job that's at fault, and it's not you who's at fault -- it's the combination of you and the job that didn't work out. So don't feel ashamed. There are a million reasons for jobs don't work out, and none of them is 100% your fault.^{[2]
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3
Avoid trying to reverse the decision. You may be tempted to ask for one more chance, but you should resist that urge. The decision has been made and is almost always irreversible. Pleading only weakens your negotiating power.^{[3]
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4
Negotiate the terms of your separation.^{[4]
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Research source} Your employer wants it to go smoothly so as not to acquire a reputation for cruelty. So here are some of the things you should ask for:^{[5]
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- Agree with the employer how they will respond when someone calls them for a reference. The safest option is for them just to say, "Yes, he was employed here during these dates and our policy is not to discuss performance."
- Ask for a generous separation package. Ask for all your remaining vacation and sick time in cash, and ask for as much separation pay as you think you can get - between one and three months worth. You probably won't get as much as you ask for, but it's a good starting point for negotiation.
- Ask for the employer to continue insurance policies for some period. You're entitled to COBRA, but it's expensive, and it's much better if you can continue for a while with your employer's contribution.
- Ask for help in finding a new job. Some employers will hook you up with an "outplacement" firm who will help you look for a new job. If they don't, ask "Can you suggest any companies that are hiring people for this kind of position?" They may be well connected.
5
Leave with dignity. Don't wait until the end of the day -- go clean out your desk and leave immediately. If people stop by to say goodbye, thank them kindly, but don't roam the halls telling people what happened to you. Never ever badmouth your boss or the company -- burning bridges will come back to haunt you.^{[6]
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6
Tell your family immediately. Even if you're feeling shocked and ashamed, tell your family what happened and discuss how you should handle it as a family. Though they'll be shocked and dismayed, in the long run this will reduce the amount of anxiety as you start to react together.
7
Give yourself healing time. You're going to be tempted to get out and start looking for new work on the next day, but you need to give yourself time to process what just happened, to wash the shame and panic out of your system, and to start thinking clearly. So set a definite period of a week or two and concentrate on taking care of yourself and your family.^{[7]
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8
Realize that it's not the end of the road. While difficult to do, you have to stop thinking of the termination as the end of something, and start thinking of it as a change of course that might lead you to a better situation. It's definitely not fun, but it might turn into an opportunity.^{[8]
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Community Q&A

Question

My boss is very jealous of me because I'm a very capable and smart person. He wants to fire me because he thinks I'm a threat, but I love my job. What should I do?

Community Answer

There is no easy way to explain being fired to a new prospective employer, no matter how graceful your exit is. If there is someone above your boss, you could talk to, like a district manager or human resources department, consider filing a complaint. (If you have any evidence of harassment, present it to them.) If you can't do this, or it doesn't help, your only options are to try to avoid getting fired or resign.
Question

What should I do if I was fired for no reason without warning, and wasn't given a reason for my dismissal?

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Community Answer

Unfortunately, employers have the right to terminate anyone for no reason at all. If you were fired because of discrimination of your race, gender, disability, etc. consider hiring a lawyer.
Question

My boss lets people throw food at him but when I did it, I got fired is that legal?

Spaceship

Community Answer

That sounds like a very unprofessional boss. No boss should allow their employees to throw food at them. If your boss allows employees to throw food at them file a complaint to the Human Resources department.

Warnings

Resist the urge to call your former co-workers and complain about the company or management.

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Don't go home, pack a bag and get out of town. Running away from your problems only makes things worse, not only that but a newcomer to a different city's job without a good reason (e.g. job transfer, family members job transferred, natural disaster, layoff, etc.) is a red flag to all employers. Instead get into action by updating your resume and posting it to places like CareerBuilder.com and work any contacts you have about possible jobs.

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