How to Be Extraordinary

Last Updated: August 9, 2021 References

Think about the extraordinary people that you've known or admired from afar. What qualities do they have that you wish you had? Most of them live a very full life, full of interesting experiences. They also try to connect with other people with their authentic self. In addition, many extraordinary people learn to take risks to find the next big adventure.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Taking Risks

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Follow what you love. Often, we don't move forward with something because it's not what's normally done. However, taking risks is figuring out what you really want to do and taking steps to move forward with that.^{[1]
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- For instance, maybe you've always dreamed of going back to school to study nursing. You love taking care of people, but you think you're too old to go back to school now.
- Many people in your life may be saying the same thing, especially if you already have an established career. But going back to school can help you on your journey to do something you truly love. It's a risk, but it's one that pushes you forward.
2
Face your fears. Everyone's afraid of something. However, sometimes your fears can hold you back. It's not necessarily the fear of spiders or snakes that is so detrimental, but rather the fears the keep you from doing something you might really love or be exceptional at.^{[2]
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- For instance, maybe you love to write, but you're afraid to show you're writing to anyone because you're afraid they'll reject it. That's a valid fear, but it shouldn't keep you from sharing the thing you love. It can earn you respect and help you grow, and as you meet people through your creative writing, it could help you land a job you really love.^{[3]
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  Kirsten Parker, MFA
  Mindset & Action Coach
  Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.}
- Come up with ways you can get started. You don't have to dive in--just take baby steps. For instance, you could start by showing your writing to a trusted friend or family member. You could also find an online forum for writers, where you're relatively anonymous. That way, if you start to feel uncomfortable, you can always back out.
- You could also take bigger steps. Find a literary magazine to submit your writing to. Many communities have local literary journals open to submissions, and with the internet, you can find journals all across the world seeking submissions. You could also find a local open mic night where you could read what you've written to other writers. You're likely find a lot of support in your community for a growing writer.
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3
Learn to show your flaws. Extraordinary people make mistakes like everyone else. However, they don't hide them away like nothing ever happened. Instead, they put them out their for everyone to see so they can learn to be better next time.^{[4]
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- This kind of vulnerability is important for you as a person because it can help you grow. However, it also helps others around you, too, as it shows them they can make a mistake and still go on to do amazing things, just like you.
- It's also important to not just show your flaws but to apologize when you've made a mistake. Doing so helps you repair any damage you've done, and shows that you're humble enough to admit when you're wrong, a quality not everyone possesses.^{[5]
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4
Work hard. To be the best at something, or even very good, you must put in the hours to learn the skill. By some estimates, you must put in as many as 10,000 hours to really become an expert at something.^{[6]
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- To put that in perspective, you'd need to work 5 hours a day (every day) for 5 years to put in 10,000 hours.
- Make sure to get help learning your skill. You can take classes, hire a tutor, check out library books, or even use online tutorials.
5
Be patient. Most goals take time to achieve, and to be extraordinary, you must be in it for the long haul. That means not giving up when things get rough, but instead, sticking it out to reap your rewards.^{[7]
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- One way to make sure you move forward is to set measurable, achievable goals. Measurable goals are ones that are specific. For instance, saying you want to learn to play the violin isn't very specific. However, breaking that down into smaller, measurable goals can help you move forward. For instance, you could make your first set of goals to find a violin to rent or buy, find a class or tutor, and learn how to hold the instrument properly. Those are goals with measurable ends.
- Be sure to set time limits for your goals, too, within reason. For instance, maybe you could say you have one week to find a violin to rent or buy and another week to find a tutor. That will help you to actually follow through.
- In addition, making any progress towards your goals helps get you motivated to do more.
6
Build up a team. Extraordinary people rarely work alone. Instead, they have a team of extraordinary people behind them or connected to them. When trying to become extraordinary, work to find other people who support you (and who you can support in return).^{[8]
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- One way to help build up a network of support is to join organizations focused on what you're interested in. That way, you'll meet people who have similar interests, and you can support one another.
- When you've hired exceptionally good people, do all you can to keep them around. For instance, make sure you notice and praise the good work they're doing. Another way to show you value them is to listen to their ideas as well as their concerns, and actually work to change things in response.
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Don't be afraid to quit. Sometimes, one of the bravest decisions you can make is to quit something that's not working, whether it's a career, a job, or a relationship. When you've worked and worked and you still haven't seen results, it may be time to try something new.^{[9]
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- No matter what, you should be enjoying what you're doing. That doesn't mean every moment will be pure joy. Every goal or job takes some hard work that isn't fun. However, if what you're doing day after day feels more like torture than fun, you might consider trying something else. When you find something you truly love, you won't have a hard time throwing yourself into it.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Living a Full Life

1
Pay attention to what matters most. Like most people, you probably feel the drive to make more money, get more things, and look better. However, extraordinary people realize that these things don't matter as much as learning to focus on the things that make you truly happy.^{[10]
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- For instance, being in a relationship with people you love and trust is important, and that doesn't have to be sexual. Friendships can be just as important as having a lifetime partner. You just need to be with people that you trust enough to be emotionally vulnerable with.
- This step also means valuing experiences over things. Things just fill up your house, while experiences make you feel alive and invigorated.
2
Experience things rather than make excuses. Part of what makes life enjoyable is the experiences you have, from eating a fabulous dinner to watching a sunrise to taking a painting class. When life gets busy, you're likely to find excuses not to have new experiences, as everyone does. But making sure you take the time to get out and try new things is integral to making you an extraordinary person.^{[11]
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- Think of it this way. When you think of extraordinary people, do you think of someone who sits at home every night? No, extraordinary people have extraordinary and interesting experiences.
- Start making plans. Decide you're going to try at least one new thing a week, and stick to it. Making plans with other people can help you stick to it.
- Also, don't be afraid to be spontaneous. Feel like going to the beach? Take a mental health day from work and take that three hour drive down to the beach. Sure, you'll be tired at the end of the day, but you'll also feel exhilarated and more alive.
3
Find time for your passions. Just like the experiences you have, your passions help make your life fuller and you a more interesting person.^{[12]
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Expert Source

Kirsten Parker, MFA
Mindset & Action Coach
Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.} Following your passions helps engage your curiosity and keep your spark of life alive.^{[13]
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- Maybe you've lost touch with your love of painting, but it used to make you happy. Try picking it up again. Join a club in your area, or find a class at your local community college.
- If you're not sure what you're really passionate about, start exploring interests. Check out books from the library on hobbies and ideas that catch your attention, or start taking community college classes that catch your interest. If you hear about an event that piques your interest, go to it to see what it's about.
4
Revel in joyfulness. Sometimes, when that moment of pure joy comes around, you may find yourself not giving into it. You're holding back a bit because you're afraid of when the next bad thing is going to hit. However, learning to really dig down into joyfulness can make you a more joyful person overall, and in turn, a more extraordinary person, as few people are able to live joyfully.^{[14]
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Kirsten Parker, MFA
Mindset & Action Coach
Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.} ^{[15]
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- The next time you find yourself in a happy situation, take some time to be in the moment. Let yourself fill up with the emotion. Take in the joy on the faces of people around you. Savor the sensations of the food you're eating or the feeling of sand and water between your toes.
5
Learn to be grateful. Gratitude is sometimes hard when life throws curve balls at you left and right. Nonetheless, being grateful is another way to learn how to live an extraordinary life because it helps you appreciate what you have and what's most important to you, a rare quality.^{[16]
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- One way you can learn gratitude is to take time each day to think or write about things you are grateful for. You could write down 3 things each day in a journal that you are thankful for or even post 3 things you are grateful for on social media every day for your friends to see. You could also just take time each night to think about the things you are grateful for in your life.
- Express your gratitude. When you're thankful for a person or what they've done, tell that person. Writing a note is even better, because it makes you take time to really feel that gratitude. Plus, it lets the other person know they are appreciated.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Connecting With Other People

1
Learn to be kind. "Be kind to other people" sounds great until you have to go out into the world and do it. Being kind is sometimes the hardest road to take, when you are faced with angry people, stress, or difficult situations. However, if you want to be an extraordinary person who responds to difficult or even just every day situations in a positive way, being kind is a good step.^{[17]
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- Do small things for other people to make them feel special. Remember people's birthdays. Send small cards in the mail. Bring someone a flower just to make them feel special.
- When someone gets angry, pay them back in kindness. For instance, if someone says something mean to you at the coffee shop, pay for their coffee without asking. These little asks of kindness can surprise people, and turn a nasty moment into an opportunity for growth and gratitude.
- Give unsolicited compliments. Take time to do small things, like opening doors or stopping to help someone pick up something they drop. Smile at strangers. All these little things add up.
2
Make relationships a priority. When you're an extraordinary person, you find ways to lift other people up. That means engaging with the people in your life and finding ways to show that you care.^{[18]
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- For instance, one simple way you can show you care is by truly listening when others tell you about their lives. That means making eye contact, asking follow up questions, and finding ways to follow up later on what you learned. As an example, maybe a friend has told you they are going through a rough time. You can follow up later by sending an email to ask how they are doing or even by sending a note through the mail.
- It also means valuing people and the things they have to offer the world. For instance, look for the good in your spouse and tell them you're grateful for who they are and what they bring to your relationship and your life.
3
Understand your own needs and boundaries. A part of connecting to others is understanding where your limitations are. It's also figuring out what your own emotional needs and boundaries are. The most extraordinary people are also usually the ones who are most self-aware. ^{[19]
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- This step is important because owning your emotional needs helps you to be mentally healthier. In turn, that helps you be more present to others.
- To understand your emotional needs and boundaries, note the times when you get angry or irritable. Take a moment to think about what you got you to that place. Maybe you just need more alone time, or maybe you're feeling underappreciated.
- Express those needs to the people who care about you. If you're feeling underappreciated, you could say, "Sometimes I feel like I do work and nobody notices. One of the things I need in my life is people who can show me appreciation. I try to show you appreciation when you do good work, and sometimes, I need that, too."
4
Volunteer your time. Giving back to your community connects you to others who have a need or want. It puts you in touch with people you might not otherwise meet in your day-to-day life, and helps you have a richer, fuller life.^{[20]
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- Consider the things you love, then put those passions to good use in your community. Love books? Volunteer to read with kids at a local elementary school. Got a passion for cooking? Give your time at a local soup kitchen. Have a passion for organizing? Try volunteering at a food bank.
- In addition, volunteering can help you cultivate gratitude.
5
Surround yourself with good people. You've probably heard the phrase "You are what you eat." Whether or not that's true, it is true that your friends influence who you are. Therefore, surrounding yourself with extraordinary, good people can help you build an extraordinary life.^{[21]
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- Think about the qualities you think an extraordinary person would have, such as being a kind person who is authentic and able to take risks.
- Next, think about the people in your social circles. Who most exhibits those qualities? When you figure that out, try spending more time with those people.
- If you don't feel like you have people in your life who are extraordinary, start trying to make new friends. Strike up conversations with people at clubs you join or even people you meet in coffee shops. Most extraordinary people enjoy putting themselves out there and making connections with new people.
6
Be open and respectful at the office. Of course, you don't want to spill your whole life story your first day on the job. However, the office can be a very cold environment, especially if interaction and respect are stifled. However, you can help to create a better environment just by offering respect to your co-workers and being open to relationships with them.^{[22]
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- For instance, talk to other people in your office to see how their lives are going. Don't just wait for a perfunctory "fine." Give them space to really talk about their lives. Start by building up a relationship by asking about their family and what they like to do outside of work.
- Support other people in the office by praising people when they do a good job. It's easy to tear people down. It's much harder to notice and respect the work that's being done. A simple, "You know you did a really great job on that report. You have a great eye for detail." can go a long way.
- Don't put up a wall. This step is particularly important for bosses. That is, it's important to be open about what you're thinking and feeling about the company. Invite other people to offer opinions. When things go wrong, let them know that you're just as sad as they are, and work together with them to see what you can change, instead of instantly coming down hard on your workers.^{[23]
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