How to Ask About Getting Your Period

Co-authored by Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO

Last Updated: October 6, 2021 References

Getting your period can be a scary and uncertain time in your life. Some girls get ridiculed for starting their periods, but it is a natural process that happens to millions of girls and women all around the world. It is perfectly acceptable to have questions about it, and it is important to be informed.^{[1]
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Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Preparing Your Questions

1
Decide who you would like to ask about getting your period. There are a variety of people that you could ask, and some may feel more comfortable than others, in terms of having the conversation.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO
Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist
Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.} Choose the person with whom you would like to have this conversation, and have a back-up person, just in case.
- Mother
- Older sister
- Older female cousin
- Grandmother
- Aunt
- Female teacher
- Female guidance counselor
- Doctor or medical professional
- A female school nurse
2
Be prepared to ask a male figure in your life if you do not have access to a trusted female figure. If your mother is not present in your life, and you have no other women with whom you feel comfortable talking to, be prepared to try to have the discussion with a male figure.
- You could ask your father, uncle, grandfather, male teacher, or a male guidance counselor.
- Instead of having the conversation with a male figure, you could ask him to connect you with a female he knows who would be willing to talk with you about this, like a female coworker or neighbor.
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3
Create a list of questions you have about getting your period. You likely have many questions, and you want to be sure to get all of them answered. Compile them into a list to ask during the conversation.
- “How old were you when you got your first period?”
- “What happens during a period?”
- “What is a menstrual cycle?”
- “Does having your period hurt?”
- “How long does a period last?”
- “What do I need to do to get ready for my period?”
- “How will I know if I might be having my first period?”
- “Why do girls and women get periods?”
- “Do you know of any books or websites that I can read to get even more information?”
- “What does it mean when you haven't gotten your period by the 'normal age?'”
- “What are the differences between different feminine hygiene products?”
4
Choose when and where to have the conversation. This is a sensitive topic for many girls and women, and it can be embarrassing and awkward to talk about getting your period. Plan out when and where you will have this discussion with your chosen trusted person.
- It might be best to do it at a time when no one else is around or will be interrupting. Perhaps you could arrange it for an evening when you know other family members will be busy out of the house.
- Have the conversation in a place where you feel comfortable, like at home, in your guidance counselor's office, or in a doctor's office.
5
Pre-arrange when you will have the conversation. It is perfectly acceptable to bring up the conversation on-the-spot, but it could be helpful to pre-arrange when it will take place.
- Ask your trusted chosen person if they have some time to chat with you after dinner, after school, or at whatever time you had in mind.
- In the event that you plan to have the conversation with a teacher, guidance counselor, or doctor, you will likely need to schedule an appointment.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Talking about Your Period and Getting Answers

1
Ask your chosen trusted person if he/she feels comfortable having this conversation with you. Especially if you are trying to have this conversation with someone other than a close female family member, this person may not feel comfortable or feel that it is his/her place to talk about this with you.
- “I'm hoping to talk with you about getting my period. Do you feel comfortable having that conversation with me?”
- “I think I might be getting close to having my first period. I feel comfortable talking to you about this, but if you don't feel comfortable, I can talk to someone else about it.”
2
Go through your list of questions. Once you have confirmed that your chosen trusted person is agreeable to having the conversation with you, start working your way through your list of questions.
- Give him/her time to answer each question.
- If other questions pop into your mind as he/she is talking, do not be afraid to ask them.
- Be confident in asking your questions. It is completely normal and natural to have a period, and your chosen trusted adult almost certainly expects you to get yours soon, if you are within the average normal age range (10-15 years old).^{[3]
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3
Take notes during the conversation, if you want to have information to which you can refer back. Some people learn best by hearing, but other people learn by copying information onto paper. If you think you will want to be able to come back to this information someday, have a notepad with you during the talk to take notes on what you learn.
4
Thank your chosen trusted person for talking about this with you. Although the conversation might feel a little awkward, it is important to show your appreciation that he/she took the time to talk with you.
- “Thank you for talking about this with me. I feel a lot more comfortable and ready for it to happen.”
- “Having this talk with you really helped me. I know so much more now. Thank you!”
- “You really helped me learn a lot about getting my period. Thanks for being willing to talk with me.”

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Recognizing Signs and Symptoms

1
Consider what types of supplies you want to use when you get your period. There are several options for feminine hygiene products, which are the items girls and women use during their periods. Decide which type(s) will be best for you with the help of your chosen trusted person.
- Disposable pads
- Cloth pads
- Tampons
- Menstrual cups
- Pantyliners
2
Make an emergency period kit. You never know when you might get your first period. Prepare yourself for it by creating an emergency period kit to carry in your backpack or in a small purse.
- Keep at least a couple of the feminine hygiene products listed above inside the kit.
- Use a small opaque makeup bag or a small plastic container to hold your supplies.
3
Know the common signs that indicate your period will start soon. There are certain hormonal and physical signs and symptoms of oncoming puberty. Be on the lookout for these signs so that you have a “heads up” that your period may start soon (most likely sometime within the upcoming months).^{[4]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO
Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist
Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.}
- Breast development
- Growth of pubic and underarm hair
- White-colored vaginal discharge
4
Familiarize yourself with the symptoms of Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, or PMS. In addition to the hormonal changes that indicate you will soon enter puberty, most girls and women experience other symptoms that are directly related to their periods starting. PMS can happen before every period.^{[5]
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- Cramps in your abdominal/pelvic region
- Headaches
- Mood swings
- Tender breasts
- Breakouts on your skin, particularly your face
5
Talk to your chosen trusted person about scheduling a doctor's appointment if you are at least 15-16 years old and still have not gotten your first period. There are medical conditions that can prevent a girl from getting her period. If you are 15-16 years old and have never had a period, you need to see a medical professional to determine what is going on with your body.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Levy-Gantt, MPT, DO
Board Certified Obstetrician & Gynecologist
Expert Interview. 3 April 2020.}
- Your doctor will run certain tests to determine what your body's hormones are doing. He/She will also likely ask you questions about your diet and lifestyle and will consider factors such as your height, weight, and family health history.^{[7]
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