How to Announce Your Engagement to Family and Friends

Co-authored by Ivy Summer

Last Updated: September 16, 2022 References

For many couples, deciding to get married is one of the most exciting experiences of their lives. Once the initial excitement has passed, however, there will be a lot of planning and preparation to see to, including announcing your engagement to your loved ones. There are many ways this can be done, from surprise parties to long-distance video chats, but the most important thing to remember is to deliver the news to those closest to you in person. You can then contact your other family and friends using a method that's convenient and suitable for your relationship.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Your Announcement Personal

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Inform the parents in person. Pay a visit to both sets of parents separately to declare your intentions to marry. It's customary for the bride's side of the family to be the first to hear about their daughter's engagement. In fact, tradition dictates that the groom should ask the bride's father for her hand in marriage before he ever pops the question.
- Generally, the parents should be the first people to find out. If you have children from a previous marriage, though, they should be consulted before anyone else.^{[1]
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- Your parents should be the first people to officially find out about your engagement, even if you've already gotten their approval.
- If you're unable to visit your parents in the flesh, a phone call (or better yet, a video chat) will make it possible to talk to them one-on-one.^{[2]
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2
Plan an intimate get-together for the rest of the family. Get in touch with as many members of both families as you can and invite them over for a light luncheon, or offer to take them out to dinner. There, you can reveal your surprise to everyone at once. This makes for a more reverent gesture and also saves you the trouble of having to contact everyone individually.^{[3]
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- Feel free to extend your invitation to siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and anyone else who you're close to.
- A holiday visit or family reunion can be a convenient time to make your announcement, if it happens to fall around the same time. Just make sure the news doesn't conflict with someone else's big day, like a graduation, baby shower or another wedding.
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3
Pick up the phone. Dial up anyone you're unable to meet with yourself and speak to them one-on-one. Be sure to mention that you wish you could have let them know in person. A phone call may feel somewhat impersonal, but it's your best bet when paying a visit isn't an option.^{[4]
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- Briefly recap the recent history of your relationship for those you haven't spoken to in a while to catch them up.
- A phone call is also the best way to alert your close friends if you're not going to see them right away.
- If you're not sure how best to reach someone, consider whether they would be offended by receiving a phone call as opposed to a personal letter.^{[5]
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4
Mail a letter to distant relatives. If you have family members living out of visiting range, you can reach them by mail. Taking the time write out a formal announcement is more considerate than simply typing up an email. It shows that you're thinking about the person, even if you can't be there to deliver the news in person.^{[6]
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- If you've already chosen a date for the wedding, send out a “Save-the-Date” card that contains details like the date, time, location and any special instructions for the attendees.
- Start mailing your announcements soon after making your engagement official so your recipients will have plenty of time to make arrangements.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Using Technology to Get in Touch

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Post about it on social media. Type up a quick post for the benefit of your more casual acquaintances. Show off a few choice photos of the two of you, along with any relevant details you want your followers to have about the wedding, bridal shower or other upcoming events. At this point, your engagement will have become common knowledge.^{[7]
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- Only share as much information as you're comfortable with on forums like Facebook. You have a right to your privacy, even on the internet.
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Organize your wedding-related posts. Share your announcement on multiple platforms (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.). That way, you can make sure it's seen by the greatest number of eyes. Many couples have even begun using hashtags to keep their posts cataloged across different apps and sites.^{[8]
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- Try coming up with your own unique hashtag by making a play on the groom's name, such as “#TilHeathDoUsPart” or “#StarCrossedGlovers.”
- When your followers click on your hashtag, they'll be able to see all of your various posts in one place.
3
Send an email. Though it shouldn't be your go-to choice, email can be very useful for targeting many different people with the same message. It may be just the format you need to drop a line to an old coworker or beloved college professor. Be sure to blind copy your recipients so it won't appear like they're just another name on the list.^{[9]
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- Just because email is quick doesn't mean you should rush it. Take the time to author a thorough, well-written message, and go over it to check for spelling and grammatical errors.
- You could even go the extra mile and personalize part of each message by bring up an old memory or asking questions specific to the person.
4
Set up a video chat. When it comes to communicating with loved ones who are many miles away, programs like Skype and FaceTime can often be the next best thing to being in the same room. Since you and the other person are on camera, you'll be able to show off your ring and witness the delighted look on their face when you tell them you've found someone to spend your life with.^{[10]
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- A live video chat can make it possible for you to address a whole crowd at once.
- Consider requesting a video chat if you live abroad, tend to travel a lot for work or find phone conversations to be too detached.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Finding Other Fun Ways to Announce Your Engagement

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Throw an engagement party. Invite your closest friends and family to join you in celebrating your betrothal. Restrict the guest list to your inner circle to keep things more intimate, or turn it into one big bash and get everyone you know involved. Alternatively, you might make it a surprise engagement party by waiting until you've got everyone in one place to share the good news.^{[11]
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- An engagement party may provide the first opportunity for the families to get acquainted with the bridal party.
- Get as creative as you like—hand out “His” and “Hers” party favors and serve wedding-themed foods like cupcakes topped with toy rings miniature bride and groom figures.^{[12]
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2
Publish an announcement in the newspaper. Call or write the head office of your city's newspaper and ask them to report your union. This is a somewhat dated custom, but it's a good way to get the word out to people who still read the society column of the local paper. It can also be pretty exciting to see your name in print.^{[13]
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- The parents of either the bride or groom (or sometimes both parties) will typically be the ones credited with the announcement. This might be something you discuss when you sit down with them.^{[14]
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- Snip out your newspaper announcement and add it to your wedding scrapbook to make it part of your personal history.
3
Schedule a photo shoot. Hire a photographer to take a few snaps of you and your fiancé. Professional photographs are a wonderful way to commemorate the occasion—they'll give you something to look back on fondly years later. They're also good practice for being in front of the camera together before you actually take your vows.^{[15]
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- Coordinate a series of photos to tell a story or drop hints about your engagement to the folks who are still none the wiser. For instance, you could work your way from a sunlit stroll in the park to a close up of the ring or a shot of the groom-to-be down on one knee.^{[16]
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- Use your favorite picture as the central image on your Save-the-Date announcements.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I announce my engagement to everyone at once?

Ivy Summer
Certified Wedding & Event Planner
Ivy Summer is a Certified Wedding Planner and the Owner of Voulez Events. Ivy has over 10 years of experience consulting, planning and coordinating weddings around the globe. She has also created a DIY online wedding planning workshop for couples, called "Plan Your Wedding Like A Pro." She currently resides in Greece where she continues to work with a worldwide network of planners and wedding professionals.

Ivy Summer

Certified Wedding & Event Planner

Expert Answer

Do it over dinner! Plan a meal and include the entire family. Set up the meal without telling anyone what you're announcing. Make it a family-inclusive lunch or dinner that has something for everyone. When the time is right, you can make your engagement announcement and celebrate together.
Question

My dad hates him, but he proposed. What should I do?

Community Answer

Only you can answer that. It is your life and your choice. If you love him, talk with your dad about how you feel and try to better understand what he has against your significant other. If you care more about what your dad thinks, and your dad won't be moved, you're going to have to make a tough decision between the two of them.
Question

Can we have two formal announcements since we are from different towns?

Community Answer

Absolutely! Your friends and family from both places will be overjoyed to hear the news about your upcoming marriage. Be sure to mail out letters or announcement cards to the relatives you have scattered about. A tasteful social media post will help you get word to everyone else who might not be close enough to write to directly.

Warnings

To avoid potentially embarrassing situations, don't keep the news to yourself for too long once you've said yes. Close family and friends might interpret a long delay as disrespectful.

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