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This article was co-authored by Kirsten Parker, MFA. Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management.
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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This article has been viewed 137,092 times.
To achieve something in life, you will need to identify important life goals, create a plan of action, and possibly even consider questions of personal identity. Goal achievement involves clarity of purpose, persistent determination, and a reward system that keeps you on your intended path. Most importantly, it requires a goal that keeps you inspired.[1]
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 3:
Setting Your Goals
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1Clarify your life goals. You may be passionate about obtaining an advanced degree, starting a family, creating a successful business or writing a book. Begin visualizing these goals and talk to competent people about how you might achieve your aspirations. Ask yourself what really makes you happy and try to follow your happiness.[2]
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2Recognize your strengths. It is a bad idea to follow a life trajectory just because someone tells you to. However, other people will be able to recognize your strengths in an unbiased way that you often cannot. Listen to what they say about your strengths and weaknesses. Try to tailor your goals to your strengths.
- For example, if you are good at drawing, consider careers in visual design. If you are good at writing, think about how you can leverage that in your own career. That doesn't necessarily mean that you should commit yourself to being a novelist or an artist, which can be difficult careers. But you should consider other careers that utilize these skills, like advertising, architecture, interior design, or law.
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3Identify obstacles that may interfere with your goal. For example, you might have an innovative business concept, but not enough capital to get it off the ground. It is impractical to get into sports or some professional careers past a certain age. Talk to people who have followed the route you are entertaining to determine if it is viable option for you.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:
Creating a Plan
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1Talk to someone who is successful. To get a sense for what you will need to do to accomplish your goal, you should talk to someone who has already accomplished it. Ask her what steps she had to take to reach her goals. Try to get a sense for the “price” she paid, in terms of how many hours she committed daily to work. Build a plan to follow in her footsteps.
- Part of this will consist of setting up a daily schedule. If she committed 3 hours a day to work, ask how can you do the same. Will you need to cut out Television from your schedule or severely limit it to a certain amount of time per day? You will only know if you do the math.[3]
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2Create a goal achievement action plan. Your goals will be more actionable if you create a plan to realize them. Create a timeline for each goal and identify the steps necessary to realizing each of them. Put it in writing and be as specific as possible about dates, small steps, and verifiable benchmarks for success.[4]
- Determine the steps necessary to achieve each life goal. For example, to get into a reputable law school, you must first complete an undergraduate degree with a high grade point average. Then, you'll need a high score on the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT). You'll then apply to a list of carefully selected reputable law schools.
- Break down each large goal into smaller steps. For example, applying to reputable law schools will require that you submit reference letters, write a personal statement, and detail any experience in a law office. Identifying these smaller steps early on helps you be proactive in establishing relationships with professors who can write you letters of recommendation before you graduate. Similarly, you can begin planning to find a part-time summer job in a law office during your undergraduate years.
- Create a plan for addressing obstacles and personal challenges. For example, if your goal is to marry and have a family, but you can't find a romantic partner because you struggle with shyness, you might ask friends to introduce you to people, push yourself to attend social activities, or consult with a relationship counselor.
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3Stay motivated. Once you have an action plan, you should reward yourself every time that you meet a goal. If it a small goal, go out for a dinner or a drink, perhaps take some extra time off. If it is a big goal, Take a long vacation. Rewarding yourself will keep you motivated, though you need to make sure that you have set clear benchmarks, like a specific percent increase in sales or a certain grade on the LSAT. Otherwise, you might not force yourself to a very high standard.[5]
- Reflect on your personal needs. In addition to the physical needs of staying fed, sheltered and healthy, consider your mental, emotional and spiritual needs as you work to achieve something in life. The need to feel respected, mentally stimulated, challenged and loved are vital factors for sustaining motivation.[6] Remain constantly aware of the outcomes of your work.
- Verify that your goals foster your motivation. For example, the chances of building a loving family are much greater if you choose a life partner who makes you feel loved and respected, and encourages you to pursue your life goals.
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4Assess your progress. Constantly assess whether you are meeting your goals. If not, determine whether or not you have committed yourself sufficiently, and, if not, make more time in your schedule to meet these goals. If you are working hard to no effect, consider whether a different strategy would work better, or if you need to think about a new goal.[7]
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:
Changing Your Perspective
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1Learn to delay gratification. One of the strongest predictors of how successful a person is whether one can delay gratification for bigger rewards in the future. Take a bad habit that consumes time or sacrifices your health—like eating junk food or watching TV—and practice putting it off for as long as you can stand.
- This was proven in the classic marshmallow experiment, where children were promised two marshmallows if they could hold themselves back from eating a single marshmallow for fifteen minutes. Those who delayed the gratification to receive two marshmallows went on to have higher SAT scores, better health, and a lower risk of substance abuse. Follow up studies demonstrated that if children reliably received rewards when they delayed gratification, they would be better able to do so.[8]
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2Cultivate grit. Along similar lines, it is important to practice perseverance. Stop thinking about life as a sprint, instead think of it as a marathon. Don't expect to reach your goal in a short period of intense effort. Stay active and working to your goals all the time as consistently as possible.[9]
- Seinfeld, for example, argues that the key to his success was to sit down and write some jokes every day. It wasn't about periods of intense, highly motivated activity, but rather a devoted, consistent habit.[10]
- Some people recommend finishing up your most important or difficult task at the very beginning of the day. If you do that, you will have momentum and your difficult tasks won't intimidate you into procrastination.[11]
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3Work on your social skills. Research shows that nowadays the most successful people are those who combine skill with social graces. Social skills have become increasingly important in the modern world.[12] They can best be cultivated through continuous practice.
- Practice socializing, even if it just saying “hello” or “thank you” to someone you meet in public. Watch how people who are popular act to determine what they do that attracts other people. Similarly, watch how people respond to you to see what does and does not work.[13]
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4Have confidence. Studies show that the confidence that you project about yourself is as important as your actual qualifications.[14] Think about your accomplishments. Practice body language that exudes confidence. Once you develop the confidence to act and be successful, your confidence will naturally snowball with your accomplishments.[15]
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5Embrace change. Many people feel that embracing change violates our authentic self. The most successful people, however, are those that do not perceive themselves as fixed, but rather as growing, changing to improve their skills, and adapt to the world around them.[18] Model yourself after successful people and follow their example.
- While authenticity can be a powerful asset, you shouldn't allow yourself to be held back by your inability to change. Instead embrace an evolving sense of authenticity: the idea that the authentic you is someone you are becoming, not someone you were.[19]
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QuestionHow can I persevere when I want to quit?
Kirsten Parker, MFAKirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management.
Mindset & Action CoachThink back to a time you overcame something difficult in your life. While it may not be the same challenge you're going through now, it will remind you that you do have the resilience you need to keep going.
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References
- ↑ Kirsten Parker, MFA. Mindset & Action Coach. Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.
- ↑ Kirsten Parker, MFA. Mindset & Action Coach. Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.
- ↑ http://oliveremberton.com/2013/3-steps-to-achieve-something-big/
- ↑ http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/201888
- ↑ http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/skillsactionplanning.htm
- ↑ Kirsten Parker, MFA. Mindset & Action Coach. Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.
- ↑ http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/skillsactionplanning.htm
- ↑ http://jamesclear.com/delayed-gratification
- ↑ http://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_the_key_to_success_grit/transcript?language=en
- ↑ http://jamesclear.com/stop-procrastinating-seinfeld-strategy
- ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-wake-up-and-instantly-achieve-something-everyday.html
- ↑ http://www.news.ucsb.edu/2014/014306/smart-and-socially-adept
- ↑ http://www.healthcentral.com/anxiety/search-social-anxiety-283153-5_2.html
- ↑ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-confidence-gap/359815/
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/7-scientifically-proven-ways-to-achieve-better-success-in-life.html
- ↑ http://www.chatelaine.com/living/budgeting/how-to-use-your-body-language-to-exude-confidence/
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/christineperkett/2014/05/20/5-ways-women-can-exude-confidence-at-work/
- ↑ https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/01/29/carol-dweck-mindset/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2015/01/the-authenticity-paradox?cm_sp=Magazine%20Archive-_-Links-_-Current%20Issue
About This Article
Kirsten Parker, MFA
Mindset & Action Coach
This article was co-authored by Kirsten Parker, MFA. Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management. This article has been viewed 137,092 times.
Co-authors: 16
Updated: September 4, 2022
Views: 137,092
Categories: Personal Goals
Article SummaryX
You can achieve something in life by recognizing your strengths, which will allow you to make achievable goals for yourself. For example, if you’re good at drawing, consider working toward a career in the arts, such as graphic design or architecture. However, if you have trouble visualizing your success, try talking to someone who is already successful, like a parent or teacher, to learn how they got to where they are now. Once you know what you want to achieve, set small goals for yourself, and reward yourself when you meet them to stay motivated! To learn how to change your perspective to achieve something in life, read on!
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