How to Text a Girl That You Like

Co-authored by Julia McCurley

Last Updated: March 31, 2023 References Approved

Start Strong

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Keep Her Attention

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Finish Strong

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Example Messages to Text Someone You Like

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Expert Q&A

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Tips

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Warnings

You were lucky enough to get the number of a girl you like, but what do you do next? If you're too nervous to call, texting is the best way to grab her attention. If you're feeling nervous about saying the wrong thing or coming on too strong, don't worry—we can help. This wikiHow article will teach you how to start a casual but flirty text conversation with a girl, keep her interested, and make her want more!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Start Strong

1
Be original. Try to send your girl a text that not just any guy could send. Don't just say hi or send her a weird emoticon; find a way to make her smile or to pique her interest. Do whatever you have to do to make her think, "Hey, there's something special about this guy. I want to keep talking to him." Here are some ways to be original:^{[1]
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- Charm her with your wit. Make a witty observation that shows the girl your unique way of looking at the world.
- Make her laugh. Show her that you can be clever--even over-texting.
- Tell her something she hasn't heard before. If you just heard an amazing piece of news that you know will make her jaw drop, share your knowledge.
2
Ask a good question. A question is a great place to start because then your girl will know that you're waiting for an answer. You don't want to leave her with that, "What am I supposed to say to that?" feeling, so the more direct and specific you are, the better. Here are some great ways to ask a question:^{[2]
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- Ask about her day or her week. If you knew she had an important event on the horizon, ask how it went.
- Make sure the question is something she can easily answer. Don't ask about the meaning of life; ask the girl what she's doing for the 4th of July.
- Keep it simple. Just one short sentence can communicate a large message.
- Keep it open-ended. Instead of asking, "What time did you get home from the concert last night?" say, "How was the concert last night?" This will give your girl more to work with. If you ask a question that can be answered in just one or two words, then you may be cutting off the conversation before it had a chance to start.
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3
Watch your grammar. This may seem silly, but you should make sure to watch your spelling and punctuation before you text the girl. Though you don't have to sound like the F. Scott Fitzgerald of texting, you should show the girl that you care enough about her to construct grammatically correct sentences.^{[3]
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- Take the time to actually use capitalization and apostrophes when you need to. Don't go overboard and start using semi-colons and dashes all over your texts, but just give your texts the same quick scans you would give to an email before you send it.
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Don't try too hard. If you're trying too hard when you're first texting a girl, she'll be able to tell right away. Remember to be yourself and don't go out of your way to say something that doesn't even sound like you just because you think it will impress her. The worst part about trying too hard is that the girl will be able to tell that you're doing it right away.
- Remember to relax. Don't send her a long or feverish-sounding text message. Just one sentence at a time is just fine.
- Don't try too hard to be funny. If being funny comes natural to you, great, but if you find yourself writing "hahaha" after your own sentences to show her that you're making a joke, then you should take a step back.
- Remember that your girl is probably a little nervous too. This should make you feel better about conversing. Just be yourself, and don't sweat over trying to say the perfect thing.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Keep Her Attention

1
Be engaging. Show your girl that you're capable of keeping up a fun conversation over the phone. In turn, she'll think that you can hold up your end of a conversation in person. Your goal in texting the girl you like is giving her just a sliver of your personality and making her want more. If you fascinate the girl, she'll keep wanting to talk to you. Here's how to do it:
- Find a common interest. Though you don't have to talk about your political or religious beliefs while texting, you should find a common interest. Even if it's just a TV show or a band, this will allow you to continue.
- Mention something you're passionate about, such as soccer or even cooking pasta. This will catch her eye.
- Communicate that you're willing to spend time on things that interest you. If you're hanging out with friends or practicing with your band, tell her. She'll be more interested in you if she knows you have a life.
- Show off your wit. If she says something funny, don't just say "Ha ha" and end the conversation. Instead, say something funny back and show her that you can keep up.
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Flirt. Flirting with your girl will not only make her want to keep talking to you, but will give her the hint that you're actually into her. You should flirt just enough to show her you're interested, but don't go overboard or she'll want you to back off. Here's how you can keep up the conversation by flirting:
- Be playful. At the right time, show her your silly side by making a goofy comment. No woman likes a guy who takes himself too seriously.
- Tease her. If you know her well enough, tease her gently and wait for her to tease you back. Just make sure that she can pick up on your tone from the text and knows that you're joking.
- Don't be afraid to send the occasional ";-)" emoticon. Though you shouldn't overuse these, a well-timed emoticon is a great way to flirt.
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Show that you care about her. There are a few easy ways to show the girl that you care about her without being obvious about it. Sending a text at the right time can let her know that you're thinking about her and that she's important to you.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} Here's how to show your girl that you care through your texts:
- Show that you value her opinion. Ask her what she thinks about a certain subject, like a new movie that's playing or a new restaurant that just opened-up.
- Ask her open-ended questions about herself. You shouldn't get too personal, but if it comes up, ask what she's up to or what she likes to do on the weekends.
- Show that you remember your conversations. If she told you that she had a big test coming up, impress her by sending her a "good luck" text the evening before.
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Don't overdo it. You need to make sure that your feelings are reciprocated and that you're not bombarding her with texts that aren't welcome. You can show you're interested, but should avoid coming off as needy, annoying, or just plain embarrassing. Here are some ways to avoid coming on too strong:
- Make sure there's an equal flow of conversation. If you text her ten times for every one or two responses you get, it's time to back off.
- Don't text her the second you hear from her. If it takes her a day to get back to you, just chill. If you fire back a text five minutes after she finally responds you'll seem overeager -- and even desperate. Keep it cool, confident ,and comfortable.
- Avoid excessive emoticons. Though the occasional well-placed emoticon is a great way to flirt, don't overdo it.
- Avoid crazy punctuation or capitalization.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Finish Strong

1
Know when it's time to end the conversation. If you want to keep your girl interested, then you should stop your texting sessions at the right time, or she'll get bored with your lengthy exchanges. Whether the girl seems busy or if you simply have nothing left to say: it's important to know when to stop texting her and try again later. Here are some signs that you should end the conversation:^{[5]
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- If the girl is always the one to end the conversation, then maybe you should avoid texting her for a while until she initiates something herself.
- If the girl is only giving you one-word responses, she may be too busy or not just interested enough to chat with you.
- If the girl takes hours or even days to text you back, then maybe it's time to take it easy. Respect the fact that she has her own life to deal with, and move on with your own. But don't be upset, leave it in peace and remain positive. The opportunity to connect with her could be around the corner.
2
Leave on a good note. You should always leave the conversation open so it will be easy for you to chat again. This is as easy as telling the girl that you're looking forward to seeing her later, or tell her what you'll be up to that evening so you can talk about it later. Here's what you should do at the end of the conversation:
- Tell her you hope she has fun with whatever she's doing or wherever she's going.
- Find a subtle way to let her know you'll be thinking of her.
- Tell her "good morning" and "good night" at the appropriate times in the day (Of course avoid doing this too much at first, make sure the feelings are mutual. Otherwise you may come off as needy and/or annoying).
- Let her know where you're going. Maybe she'll take it as a hint that you would like to meet up with her.
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If you've established a connection and feel like you and her are having a great time talking, then go ahead, ask her out. Let it come naturally.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 30 September 2021.} The worst thing that can happen is that she says no, and that won't be the end of the world. If it's going well, then go for it. Here's how to do it:
- You don't have to be formal about it. You can just tell her that you're going to a bar, restaurant, or concert with a few friends and ask if she and any of her friends want to come.
- If you're having a long and detailed conversation, you can also just say, "I'd love to pick up this conversation in person. How about we keep talking over dinner or a drink?". Boom, it's a date.

Example Messages to Text Someone You Like

Sample Example Messages to Text Someone You Like

Expert Q&A

Question

What does it mean if she always texts me first?

Julia McCurley
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Julia McCurley is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Relationship Coach, and the CEO of Something More, Austin's premier matchmaking service. She has been creating happy couples in Austin for over 12 years and has helped hundreds of singles on their journey to finding love. Her blogs have been published on the Huffington Post, Good Men Project, SheKnows, Emlovz, and The Dating Truth. She also just published her first book, Game Set Match: A Professional Matchmaker's Advice on How to Win At the Game Of Love. Julia holds a BA in Business and Communications from The University of Puget Sound and received her Master Executive Matchmaker Certification from The Matchmaking Institute.

Julia McCurley

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Well, if you like her I've got good news for you. Finding excuses or reasons to reach out to you out of nowhere is a big sign that they've got a crush on you.
Question

What can I talk to a girl about everyday?

Community Answer

Sometimes its hard to create conversation. You could just joke around and see how the response is. You can ask how her day was and something about her upcoming events to show you are interested in what she is doing.
Question

How do I not seem not clingy?

Community Answer

Don't answer immediately back to texts, use about the same delay as she does. If she's replying back to yours in 5 minutes, take roughly the same amount of time to respond.

Warnings

Don't text obscene or sex-insinuation phrases to her. With that, the only thing you'll achieve is being blocked and even reported for sexual harassment.

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If in any case, you could find out that she has a boyfriend already, then write less often to her and only with the idea of being just friends.

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Stop texting her and delete her from your contacts if possible if your boyfriend is jealous and possessive.

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