How to Make Your Boyfriend's Parents Love You

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 17, 2022 References Approved

When you’ve been dating someone for a while, it’s only natural to want their parents to love you, too. Making a good first impression and fostering a relationship with them will help you get on their good side (and stay there). In this article, we’ll help you prepare for that first meeting and get to know his parents to build a strong, close bond over time.

1

Ask your boyfriend about his parents.

Get some background information on who they are. The best way to make a good impression on your boyfriend's parents is to know a little about them ahead of time, so talk to your boyfriend about what to expect. Ask him about basic information like his parents' personalities and what they do for a living, as well as any household or cultural rules you might be expected to follow.^{[1]
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- Even if you’ve met his parents before, you can always learn new things about them! For instance, maybe his mom mentioned that she’s in a book club. You might ask your boyfriend, “Your mom said she runs a book club! Do you know how often they meet up?”

2

Be sincere, courteous, and polite.

You can make a great impression on them by remembering your manners. While you're visiting with the family, stay engaged in the conversation. Speak up when someone asks you a question, and listen when someone else is talking. Remember your manners, like saying please and thank you, and if you're dining at their home, offer to help clear the table after the meal.^{[2]
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- To offer to help clean up, say something like, “That was a delicious meal! I can help clear the table if you point me toward the kitchen.”

3

Compliment his parents.

His parents aren’t immune to a little flattery. If you’re eating dinner at their home, compliment the cooking or how their house is decorated. If you’re out and about, tell them how well they raised their son or how exciting their jobs sound. They’re sure to think of you fondly if you say nice things about them!^{[3]
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- “That was such a delicious meal. Thank you both for cooking! I’ll definitely have to grab that recipe from you.”
- “Your home is so beautiful! Where did you get your design inspiration from?”

4

Ask them open-ended questions.

Try to get to know them as people, not just as parents. When you're making conversations, ask your boyfriend's parents about the things they enjoy, like their hobbies, careers, or places they like to visit. Try to avoid questions that can be simply answered with "yes" or "no," because these won't necessarily encourage the other person to open up.^{[4]
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- Try asking questions like, "What kind of music do you listen to?" or "I understand you're very active in the church. Are you involved in any outreach programs?"
- Most parents love asking about their children, so you might ask something like, "Mr. Taylor, what was Josh like when he was a little boy?"

5

Be yourself.

Show off your personality so his parents get to know the real you. If they ask you questions, answer them honestly to tell them about yourself. If you’re naturally funny, don’t be afraid to throw out a few jokes, as long as they’re appropriate. You don’t have to put on an act for his parents—the more real you are, the more they’ll like you!^{[5]
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6

Bond over your shared interests.

You’ll probably find that you and his parents have something in common.^{[6]
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Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.} Try bringing it up in conversation or suggesting an activity that you could all do together. It’s a great way to bond, and you’ll get to know his parents much better that way.
- If you follow the same sports team, you might say something like, "Hey Mr. Brown, how about the game last weekend? I can't believe we got a touchdown with 1 second on the clock!"
- If you all like fishing, you might try, “Any fish biting this weekend? I was thinking of heading out on the lake if either of you would like to join me.”

7

Treat your boyfriend well.

Show his parents how much you love their son. Above all, your boyfriend's parents just want to know that he's loved and happy.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.} Try not to bicker or argue around his parents, and save any criticisms for when you two are alone. Work to have open communication, trust, and respect for a healthy relationship overall.

8

Be respectful of his parents’ rules and traditions.

Let them know that you respect them and their home. When you're around your boyfriend's parents, go out of their way to follow their house rules, the rules they've set for your boyfriend, and any cultural or religious traditions they observe in their home.^{[8]
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Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.} This will show them that you respect them, which will go a long way toward getting them to love you.
- For instance, if his parents ask that you take your shoes off before coming inside, don’t make a fuss, and follow their house rules.
- If his parents are religious and ask that you join them for a church service, make time to tag along, even if you aren’t of the faith (but only if you’re comfortable going).

9

Accept invitations to family dinners and holidays.

When they invite you to things, it probably means they like you. Try to accept as many invitations as you can to hang out with his family more and get to know them better. It will show that you’re a reliable partner, and they’ll get to learn more about you, too.^{[9]
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- You can also invite his family to events that you think they might like.

10

Keep realistic expectations for the relationship.

His parents might need some time to warm up to you, and that’s okay. Although it's nice to have your boyfriend's parents on your side, it's not necessarily essential. If you've tried your hardest and they don't accept you, don't try to force a relationship. Instead, just focus on your relationship with your boyfriend, and give them space. If they never warm up to you, it will be up to your boyfriend to decide whether that's an important factor in his relationship with you.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Erika Kaplan
Relationship Advisor
Expert Interview. 1 October 2020.}
- If your boyfriend's parents seem standoffish at first, they might not want to get too emotionally attached until they see that the relationship is serious. Try not to take this personally, and allow them to get comfortable with you on their own terms, no matter how long that takes.

11

Save PDA for later.

Public displays of affection could make his parents feel uncomfortable. When you’re with your boyfriend and his family, save any kissing or heavy petting for when you two are alone. In general, holding hands or light kisses on the mouth are okay, as long as it isn’t constant!^{[11]
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- If you’re unsure about what his parents are okay with, follow your boyfriend’s lead. He probably knows just how much PDA is okay around his family.

Community Q&A

Question

My boyfriend and I got separated from each other because his parents dislike me. I don't know what to do about it. I miss him so much and I want to set things right. What do I do? March 3 is our 1 year

Amy Gremillion

Community Answer

First, find out if your boyfriend is still interested in rekindling the relationship. If so, ask if he can arrange another meeting between his parents and you. Apologize for anything that you might have done to cause friction, and tell them you'd really like another chance to prove yourself to them.
Question

What if his parents doesn't like who I am?

Amy Gremillion

Community Answer

Remember, you can't ever guarantee that someone else will like you. Try your best to make a good impression on them by being considerate and kind, but don't obsess over it. If you and your boyfriend are meant to be together, you will, regardless of anyone else's opinion.
Question

what if i am not allowed to date at all what should i do

Amy Gremillion

Community Answer

Sometimes, it's easier to follow your parents' rules until you're old enough to get out on your own. However, if you and your boyfriend really love each other, you might try sitting down and talking to your parents about how you feel. Try to stay calm, and remember to be a good listener, too, which may show them how mature you are.