How to Make Him Miss You

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References Approved

Sometimes in relationships, you can become so close that the spark starts to fade. The best way to rekindle the spark is to make him miss you and remember what it was that made him fall for you. Relationships also mutually end before they need to sometimes. You can make your ex-boyfriend miss you and remember what it was like when the relationship was great. To make him miss you regardless of the specifics, create some space, control the communication, and use subtle hints like scents, spontaneity, and intentionally "forgotten" possessions to make him think of you when you're not around. Soon enough, your guy should be longing for you and craving that passion again.

Things You Should Know

Cut off or limit communication so he thinks about and misses you.
Make him think about you in a subtle way by leaving something at his house.
Demonstrate your independence to remind him of what he's missing.
Use these strategies to show a guy what you're worth—not to manipulate him.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Stopping the Communication

1
Stop calling or texting him. If you are constantly calling and texting him, he won’t have any time to think about missing you. Take a break from the daily phone time, and wait for him to call or text. When you stop calling or texting, he’ll wonder why, and this will cause him to start thinking about you and missing you.^{[1]
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- When you're not talking to him, carry on with your day. Go to class or work, spend some time doing hobbies, or watch TV. Do something to keep you from checking your phone, which will make you less likely to respond if he has texted or called you.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.}
2
Wait some time before returning his calls or text messages. When we like someone, we typically jump at the chance to return their phone calls and text messages because we’re so excited. If you want a guy to miss you, you need to create that moment of longing for your response.
- When he calls you, don’t answer, and let it go to voicemail. Wait a few minutes, and then call him back, telling him you couldn’t answer because you were really busy.
- After receiving a text message, wait about 5 to 10 minutes before responding. This will give him time to start longing for your response, and make him start thinking about what you might be doing without him.
- You don't always have to, but every once in a while make the texts and phone calls you do have with him brief and to the point.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.}
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3
Limit social media posts. If you're someone who is constantly updating social media with your activities, try limiting how much you post. Social media posts are an easy way for people to stay connected and never feel like they’re missing you. When you post less, your guy will start to miss learning about what’s going on in your life.^{[4]
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- Limit communication with your guy on social media as well. If you use social media to talk to him when you aren’t together, stop this form of communication for a while. He’ll be wanting to hear from you and will hopefully reach out when he starts missing you.
4
End the conversation first. Start hanging up the phone or ending the text conversation before he does, especially if you’re usually the last to say goodbye. Being the first to end the conversation will leave him wanting more, and keep you on his mind until he talks to you again. This longing for more communication will start to drive him wild with his desire to talk to you.^{[5]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Using Subtleties

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Find a signature scent. Find a subtle scent to wear every time you are around your guy. He will begin to associate this smell with you, and it gives him another sense to miss you with. When you aren’t with your guy, he'll begin to miss the smell of you and crave smelling your signature scent.^{[6]
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- Make sure you don’t wear too much or he might be turned off by the strong scent. Wear just enough for it to be smelled when someone is very close to your body.
- To create this effect with smell, you have to wear the same scent every time you are around him.
- This also works when you want to make your ex-boyfriend miss you. If you show up to a place he’s at wearing the scent you used to wear, he’ll instantly associate it with the time he was with you.
2
Be mysterious and surprising. If you are a complete open book when you first meet a guy, it won’t leave him with anything to be surprised by. Instead, you should tell an interesting fact about yourself each time you get together. This will leave your guy wanting to hear more about you, and waiting to find out what new thing he'll learn next. Be spontaneous with him. If you usually go to dinner for dates, invite him on an adventure like rock climbing one day. This spontaneity will excite him and keep him guessing at what you’ll want to do next.
- Don’t always be telling him how you feel and what you are thinking, let him wonder about you. You want to keep him guessing!^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Laura Bilotta
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 4 March 2020.}
3
Leave things in his car or at his house. If you casually leave one of your belongings at your guy’s house or in his car, it will constantly remind him of you. When he’s reminded of you, he will start to think about you and miss being with you. Small personal items that you don’t need daily work best for creating this subtle reminder of you.^{[8]
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- A hairbrush
- Jewelry
- Makeup
- A pen or notebook
- A small picture
4
Leave him wanting more. Whenever you go out with your guy, you should always leave him wanting more. More kisses, more laughter, more fun, more conversations, you just want to leave him wanting more of you. You can do this by taking your time and having clear time limits with your time spent together.^{[9]
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- Cut conversations short because you have to get home at a certain time.
- Only give him one sweet kiss at the end of the night to make him dream of wanting more kisses.
- Have self control when it comes to your personal curfew times. You’ll probably want to spend more time with him, but if you leave when you planned, you’ll get him to want more time with you.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Being Independent

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Create space between you and him. A guy can’t miss you if you’re always right there for him. A great way to get him to miss you is to create space between the two of you. If you spend every minute of the weekend with him, start carving out time to spend away from him. Spend a Friday night at home alone or with friends instead of hanging out with your man. At first he will probably like the time alone, but if you begin to do this regularly, he’ll start missing you in his arms.
2
Go out with friends and tell him about it. Start having nights out with your friends instead of date nights, and then tell your guy all about how much fun you had. He will probably be happy for you, but he’ll also be a bit jealous of how much fun you can have without him. If you spend a couple weekends having fun with friends, you’re guy will soon start to miss being the person that's having fun with you.
- This works well with an ex-boyfriend as well. When an ex sees that you’re having fun and enjoying life without him, he will begin to miss being in your life.
3
Use social media to highlight the fun you’re having independently. Start to post pictures and status updates about how much fun you’re having doing things on your own. This works very well when trying to get an ex to miss you. Show how much you’re enjoying life on your own, and your guy will be begging to hang out with you because he misses you so much.
- Don’t be fake on social media, just highlight the fun you’re having going out with friends and participating in activities on your own.
4
Give yourself a makeover, and then go see him. Treat yourself to a new hairstyle and new clothes so that you look and feel awesome. Dress yourself up, and then go meet your guy somewhere. He’ll be surprised at your new look, and want to see you more.^{[10]
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- If you want your ex-boyfriend to miss you, show up with your new look to somewhere you know he’ll be. Walk by him looking awesome and as confident as ever. This will make him wish he was still with you and miss the time he used to be in your life.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

When Should You Try This?

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Try making him miss you to help him see how special you are. Flirting with a guy you like by dressing up, using a sweet-smelling perfume, showing him that you've got a big social life, and so on can help him see that you're interested - and interesting. There's no harm in playing a little hard to get, as long as you don't get too consumed by trying to attract his attention.
2
Switch to straightforward communication when you're ready for more. Making him miss you might turn his head initially, but eventually he'll get bored if you wait forever to answer his texts or avoid him for too long between dates. He might also catch on to your plot to make him miss you if you spend too much time bragging about the fun you have without him. Instead of figuring out new ways to make him miss you, try telling him how you really feel.
3
Avoid making him miss you as a way to manipulate him. It's normal to want your ex to miss you when you're gone, especially if you were the one who got dumped. However, focusing too much on making him miss you will probably end up backfiring. You'll get too obsessed by what he thinks, when instead you should be moving on. Give yourself, and him, a break and don't try to manipulate him after you've already broken up.

Warnings

Every relationship is different, and every guy is different. Some methods might really upset a guy, so be sensitive to how he is feeling. The goal is to create a little spice in the relationship by making him miss you, not to play with a person’s emotions.

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If you’re trying to make an ex-boyfriend miss you, you need to be sure he still wants to be around you. This tactic works best when the breakup was mutual. If it was a messy break-up, it might be best to take some time to yourself first.

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If you create space in your relationship, and he doesn’t start to miss you, you might need to talk to him to evaluate the relationship. Start communicating with him again, and find out how he felt when you tried to create some space.

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