How to Know if a Girl You Have Never Talked to Before Likes You

Co-authored by John Keegan

Sometimes it’s hard to know if a girl you’ve never talked to before likes you. You might have an idea that she’s interested, but if you want to be certain, watch for some tell-tale signs. Then, when the moment is right, strike a conversation to get to know her better!

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Watching Her Body Language

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Pay attention when she's around. If you two haven't met yet, and this girl likes you, then she may stare at you and smile to get your attention. Make sure you smile back, and watch her reaction. Shy girls may blush and outgoing girls may smile back. You're basically engaging in a little flirting.^{[1]
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Note if she likes to giggle with her friends. If she notices you're around and she likes you, she may want to appear more interested in her friends, so she'll start laughing. She may also feel nervous when you're around, and many people giggle or laugh when they're nervous.^{[2]
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3
Watch her body language. Does her face turn red when around you? She might stare at you for a long time, and smile when you look. Maybe when you look at her, she looks quickly away. These signs may mean she likes you. She may also look nervous because she has butterflies, meaning she likes you.^{[3]
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See if she gets clumsy near you. If you notice she seems to drop things when she's near you, that could be a sign she likes you. It could indicate she gets nervous when she's near you, causing her to drop things or be a bit clumsier.^{[4]
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Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Looking for Other Clues that She Likes You

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Ask your friends what they think. Your friends may have heard whether the person likes you or not. Even if they haven't, they'll probably be better at guessing than you are. That's only because when it's you in the situation, you have a harder time stepping back and analyzing it, and you may feel a little self-conscious thinking about a girl liking you. Therefore, asking a good friend can help you analyze the situation better.^{[5]
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Watch for signs on social media. One way to see if a girl likes you is to watch how she treats you on social media. Of course, you first need to friend her. Once you do, watch how she interacts with you. If she seems to pay extra attention to you, she may like you. For instance, maybe she "likes" everything you post or tags you in a number of her posts.^{[6]
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- For instance, if she writes "Cute!" on a selfie you posted, it may be she's flirting with you.
3
Notice how often she's around. If a girl likes you, she's going to find reasons to be near you. Even if you've never talked to her, you'll look up, and she'll be at the next table in the library or a few benches down at the basketball game. It's not that she's stalking you. Rather, she's probably hoping you'll notice her.^{[7]
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- This approach may include things like walking through your line of sight or talking to people near you.
4
Pay attention to what your instinct is telling you. If you're trying to figure out if someone likes you by analyzing everything she does, she may not be that into you. If someone likes you, you'll generally know it in your gut, with the exception of very shy people.^{[8]
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- However, if you're not sure, it's always best to give it a shot by talking to her. The worst she can say is "No!"
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Pay attention to when her shyness hits. If you notice that she seems to go up and talk to everyone, but avoids talking to you, she may just be nervous about talking to you. In other words, she doesn't talk to you because she likes you, and that makes her scared.^{[9]
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Use her friends to your advantage. Another step you could take is to talk to one of her friends, particularly if you have a class with one of them. A simple, "Hey, you're Jess's friend, right? Can I ask you something? Do you think Jess likes me?" is really all you need.
- You can also watch how her friends react when you're around the whole group of them, including the girl you like. For instance, they may start whispering to each other, teasing the girl, or even pushing her in your direction.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Her Attention and Talking to Her

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Make eye contact. See if she wants to keep your attention or if her eyes move away from yours. If she is consistently making eye contact and sometimes blushing while doing it, chances are she’s interested in you.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.} She may also try stealing quick glances at you when she thinks you're not looking.
- Of course, you don't want to just stare at her because that will come off as creepy. Just glance in her direction, or try to hold her eyes for a couple of seconds.
- However, some girls are just shy, and they may not want to make eye contact with you. Try encouraging her with other steps.
2
Smile at her. Smiling shows your interest, and makes it easy for her to smile back at you.^{[11]
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John Keegan
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.} Sometimes, it might take a while for both of you to just make eye contact and smile before you’re ready to actually talk to each other. Even if you’re nervous, smiling is a good way to make contact because a smile actually acts as a reward to other people. In other words, when you smile at her, her brain perceives it as a reward, making her happier to be around you.^{[12]
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- Try waving at her and saying hi. This might encourage her to come over and be relaxed in front of you.^{[13]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.}
3
Make opportunities for her to talk to you. Don’t just hang around with the same group of friends. It’s much easier to approach someone who is alone rather than someone who's with a large group, so if you make sure you're alone sometime when she's around, she might come over and talk to you. You could also try and go alone to a place you know she will be to make yourself a little more available. You never know what might happen.^{[14]
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- For instance, maybe you notice she spends time at the library after school. Make it a point to show up there, too. Try sitting at a table near her, where she can see you.
4
Say “hi.” It’s an easy first step and a way to acknowledge that you’re noticing each other. You don’t have to do much more at first if you’re shy. If she’s unwilling to say “hi” back, she might not be interested. Try it a few more times, but if she never responds, let it go.^{[15]
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- You might be nervous about approaching her, but the only way you can really test your theory of whether she likes you or not is to actually talk to her.
5
Think about how to start a conversation. If she’s responded to your greeting, you can move ahead to actually talking to each other. Consider what you know about her, as that can lead to a conversation. Is she part of the drama club, or does she play sports? Engaging with her about school activities is a great first way to make conversation. You could even try to be funny, but that can be hard.^{[16]
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- You could ask, "Is your training on the track team really hard?" or "What did you think of the pep rally?"
- You could also say something like, "Wasn't the food gross in the cafeteria today? Isn't it awful what they call food?" or "Don’t you think Mr. Harrison looks and sounds a lot like Yoda?"
6
Engage her in conversation. Now that you have some possible questions, find a good time to talk to her. It should be a time when neither of you is hurrying off to class or activities, and hopefully when you’re both alone. It can feel really awkward the first time, but it does get easier. If she really responds and starts asking you questions too, chances are that she is interested in you. If she doesn’t really respond, it’s likely she’s not that into you.^{[17]
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- For example, if you asked whether her track training was hard, she might say, "Yes, but I love it!" In that case, you could say, "Cool! What do you love about it? I've always thought about getting into running, but it seems really hard."

Expert Q&A

Question

Why do guys not make the first move?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

A lot of times guys are really afraid of rejection and/or people thinking that they're weird.
Question

What are the physical signs that a girl likes you?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

She'll make a lot of eye contact, smile in your direction, and possibly wave at you. In general, she'll be giving off a lot of warm energy.
Question

Is it okay to get rejected?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a dating coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Absolutely! Ultimately, rejection isn't this awful thing. It just means that you didn't have a connection with that person, and that's okay!

Warnings

Always be respectful. If she acts like she's not interested or she says she's not interested, leave her alone. You'll find someone else!

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