How to Tell a Girl You Like Her

Co-authored by JT Tran and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: December 21, 2022 References Approved

You know that girl who makes you mumble or drop a stack of papers while talking to her? That girl you can’t stop thinking about, even when she’s not around? You might have feelings for her! Telling a girl you like her sounds simple, but actually doing it can be nerve-wracking. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of a few ways you can express your emotions to see if she likes you back.

1

Drop some hints.

Give her a few compliments about her outfit or her nice laugh. Tell her about a pretty flower you saw that made you think of her at the park today. If you give enough hints as to how you’re feeling, she’ll be better prepared for when you tell her you like her.^{[1]
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- Try saying some things like, “I saw a gorgeous rose bush on my walk earlier today. It made me think of you!” Or, “You have the best smile I’ve ever seen.”
- Try to pay attention to how she reacts to these compliments. If she smiles and laughs, it’s a good sign!

2

Set a deadline for yourself.

It will give you the motivation you need. If you’ve been thinking about this girl for a while, try setting a deadline for when you’re going to tell her that you like her. It doesn’t have to be immediately, but it should be within the next few weeks at least.^{[2]
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- To really hold yourself accountable, try writing it down in your planner or setting a reminder on your phone.

3

Pump yourself up first.

Remind yourself of how awesome you are for a confidence boost.^{[3]
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Expert Source

JT Tran
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.} You could write a list or just say things out loud to yourself. You don’t have to get cocky, but try saying things like:^{[4]
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- “This is gonna go well.”
- “We’ll be friends no matter what.”
- “Even if she doesn’t like me back, I’ll feel better after I’ve said it.”

4

Tell her in person, if possible.

Try to approach her when she’s alone and not busy. If you two are friends, you can suggest hanging out one on one. If you don’t know her that well, try to catch her when she’s by herself at school or work. You don’t have to be completely isolated (that’s a little scary!), but try not to confess your feelings around a group of friends.^{[5]
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- Try going for a walk in the park or meeting up in the food court at a mall. You could say something like, “Hey, do you wanna hang out after school today?”
- When you’re making plans to meet up, don’t say, “I need to talk to you.” She might think you have something bad to say.

5

Text her if you can’t meet up in person.

This can help if you live far away or you’re feeling shy. It’s a little less scary since you won’t be talking to her in person. Try having a light, casual conversation over text before you dive into your feelings for her.^{[6]
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- Phone calls and video chats are good options, too!
- If you’re texting her, send something like, “I know it’s weird to say this over text but I really like you.”

6

Write her a note to be romantic.

Then, drop it in her locker or on her desk. Throw in a few compliments, explain how much you like her, and sign it with your name. If she likes you back, it’s a sweet note to read that will probably make her blush (in a good way).^{[7]
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- Try writing something like, “Dear Anna, I really like hanging out with you, and I feel like we get along well. I think I like you—do you like me too? Dylan.” But be cautious and try not to sound eager cause they might think it's a bet.

7

Simply say, “I like you.”

It’s clear and direct, so she’ll definitely get the message. If you’ve been chatting for a little bit, pause the conversation and look into her eyes. Say, “Hey, I really like you,” then wait for her reaction.^{[8]
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- You could also say something like, “So, I’ve been meaning to tell you: I think I have feelings for you.”
- Or, “Y’know, I’ve been thinking, and I’m pretty sure I like you a lot.”

8

Ask her if she likes you.

This is a nice way to test the waters if you’re nervous. If she’s been giving you hints but you aren’t exactly sure, ask her if she has feelings for you. She might be a little nervous to answer this question, so you can reassure her with your feelings right afterward.^{[9]
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- For example, you could say, “So, we’ve been hanging out a lot lately. Do you like me?” Or, “Hypothetically, if I asked you if you liked me, what would you say?”

9

Ask to be more than friends.

Make your intentions clear as you confess your feelings. Instead of just saying you like her, you can ask her if she’d be open to dating you (or even becoming your girlfriend). Try asking something like:^{[10]
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- “Have you ever thought about being more than friends?”
- “I think I’d like to take our relationship to the next level. Could we be more than friends?”

10

Tell her you can’t stop thinking about her.

Let her know how much she really means to you. If the chemistry between you two is really strong, this is a good option to choose. You can even throw a few other compliments in there, like:^{[11]
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- “Whenever I think about you, I catch myself smiling. I really like you.”
- “I just can’t get you off my mind. I think I have feelings for you.”

11

Tell her how awesome she is.

Explain why you like her as you tell her about your feelings. This might make her blush, which is a great sign! Don’t go overboard—one or two compliments is probably enough. Say something like:^{[12]
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- “You’re just so fun to hang out with, and I love your sense of style. I really like you a lot.”
- “You’re so easy to talk to, and I feel like I’ve known you for years. I think I like you.”

12

Ask her out on a date.

Go bold by planning a fun activity for the two of you. Instead of dropping your feelings and running, you can take the next step by inviting her out. This is a great one to choose if you’re texting or you can’t hang out for long.^{[13]
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- Say something like, “So, I really like you. I was wondering if you’d want to catch a movie with me on Saturday.”
- Or, “I think I like you. I’d love to take you out for dinner tomorrow night.”

13

Try to maintain your friendship no matter what.

She might not like you back, and that’s okay. You can confess your feelings without ruining your friendship. If you feel up to it, try to continue your friendship the same way it was before. That way, you won’t lose her completely.^{[14]
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- Just because you told her you like her doesn’t necessarily mean anything needs to change. You can still do the same stuff you used to, like hanging out, texting, or spending time together in school.
- If the girl doesn’t like you back, she might also want a little space afterwards. Try not to take it personally, and let her know that you’re around to be her friend whenever she’s ready.

14

Be respectful of her decision.

She might like you back, or she might not. Rejection is never fun to deal with, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t a likeable person—you two just weren’t meant to be.^{[15]
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Expert Source

JT Tran
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 5 May 2020.} You can continue being friends, or you can take some time for yourself to get over your feelings if you need to.^{[16]
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- Try focusing on other things you enjoy, like your hobbies or playing sports. They can help you work through your feelings in a healthy way.

Expert Q&A
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Question

How can I be more confident when dating?

JT Tran
Dating Coach
JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.

JT Tran

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

To build confidence, especially when going on first dates, make yourself feel good mentally as well as physically. Physically, the act of putting on a really nice suit, practicing good personal hygiene, and getting some exercise can make you feel excited and pumped for your date. If you're still nervous, try to reframe how you see the date. Associate your date with a positive experience and try to be grateful for the opportunity.
Question

What do I do if I have just recently met her? I like her, and it feels like we have known each other for a while.

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That's a good sign! If you two don't know each other very well, you might want to wait a little longer before telling her you like her. Focus on building a friendship with a strong connection before you confess your feelings.
Question

The girl I like recently got out of a toxic relationship and we have gotten really close because I've been there for her. Should I ask her out now or just wait?

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It depends on how she's feeling. If her relationship was super toxic, she might not want to get involved with anyone else for a while. If it's only been a few weeks (or even a few months) since she got out of her relationship, she might need you to just be a supportive friend.