How to Know if Your Boyfriend's Parents Like You

Co-authored by Shana Tibi and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: October 28, 2021 References

If you’re getting serious with your boyfriend, you’ve probably already met his parents and hung out with them a few times. Impressing the parents is kind of a big deal, but it can be hard to tell whether they actually like you or not. Thankfully, there are some surefire ways you can tell if your boyfriend’s parents like you or just simply tolerate you. Keep reading to pick up on the signs the next time you’re around his family.

1

His parents invite you to family events.

Family reunions, beach trips, and vacations are all fair game. If his parents invite you along, it means they see you as one of them! It’s an awesome sign, and it means that they’re including you in their family. Getting invited along on trips usually happens when you and your boyfriend get serious, so don’t be worried if they don’t take you along right away.^{[1]
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- If you often get left out of family events, ask your boyfriend to start inviting you along. The more you can be around his parents, the more they’ll get to know you (and hopefully start to like you).

2

His parents don’t compare you to past partners.

If you ever hear about your boyfriend’s exes, it could be a bad sign. Sometimes, parents hang onto the memory of the person they wish their son was with. They might try subtly comparing your education, your job, or your hobbies to the ex’s to remind your boyfriend of what he’s missing. However, if you never hear about an old partner of his, it’s a sign that they like you and they’re excited to start fresh.^{[2]
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- If your boyfriend’s parents continually bring up a past partner, ask your boyfriend to tell them not to do that anymore. It’s pretty disrespectful to both of you, and it’s just plain unkind.

3

His parents take your side.

They might tell their son to listen to your point of view. If you and your boyfriend ever get into a small argument, his parents might shut him down and make sure your voice is heard. While it can be slightly awkward to have a full-blown fight in front of his parents, little disagreements where they take your side can show you that they like you.^{[3]
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- You might also notice this during silly arguments, too. For instance, if you’re “fighting” with your boyfriend about which flavor of cake to get, his parents might agree with you and insist that you’re right.

4

Your boyfriend says his parents like you.

Believe it or not, he’s not lying! If you ask your boyfriend about what his parents think of you, he’s most likely going to tell the truth. Since he knows his parents best, if he says that they like you, you can believe him.^{[4]
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- If he avoids answering or he dodges the question, he might be hiding the truth to save your feelings.
- If his parents don’t like you right away, don’t worry—sometimes it takes a while for people to warm up to each other. Just keep spending time with them, and try to get to know both of them on a deeper level.

5

His parents give you compliments.

They might make it a point to tell you things they like about you. They might point out your values, your education, or your personality. They could tell you directly, or they might tell your boyfriend how much they like you.^{[5]
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- Some people don’t give out compliments very easily, and that’s okay, too. If your boyfriend says his parents rarely compliment anyone, try not to take it personally.
- You can return the favor by giving them compliments, too! It’s always nice to hear good things about yourself, even from your son’s partner.

6

His parents ask you questions.

They’ll be curious about your life and what you do for fun. When people really like you, they usually make it a point to get to know more about you—your friends, your hobbies, your job, and so on. If his parents ask you questions about yourself and seem genuinely interested in your answers, that’s a good sign.^{[6]
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- They might ask questions like, “So, are you still in school? How long until you graduate?”
- Or, “Have you lived in the city long? How do you like it?”
- You can respond by asking them about their lives, too. It shows that you’re interested in getting to know them and that you can hold a conversation with them.

7

His parents get excited when you come over.

They might smile or tell your boyfriend to invite you over earlier. If they're excited, it's safe to assume they genuinely enjoy your company. They never ask when you’re going home or urge your boyfriend to come over alone, because they actually like spending time with you.^{[7]
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- If his parents act disappointed when you come around, ask your boyfriend about it. It could be that they just need some alone time with him, and it doesn’t have anything to do with you.

8

You can talk to your boyfriend’s parents without him.

If he leaves to go to the bathroom, there isn’t an awkward pause. It might feel a little strange at first, but as you get to know them more, you’ll probably find tons of things to chat about while your boyfriend leaves the room for a few minutes. You could talk about your hobbies, your boyfriend, or what his parents are up to while your boyfriend is out of the room.^{[8]
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- It’s a super good sign if you can have full-on conversations with his parents, even if your boyfriend isn’t there. Try to talk about something you like but maybe your boyfriend isn’t that interested in.

9

His parents ask him about you.

Do they ask him how you're doing when they see or talk to him? If his parents are interested in what you’re up to, that’s a great sign! It means they care about you and want to know more about your life. They’ll probably quiz him about what you’re doing or how you’re feeling every time he chats with them. Talk to your boyfriend to find out if his parents ever check up on you when you aren’t around.^{[9]
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- If his parents aren’t asking about you, your boyfriend can give them updates regardless. That way, they’ll get used to hearing about you more, and they might start asking about you.

10

His parents remember details about you.

They might bring up previous conversations about your hobbies or friends. If you had a conversation with them about something a few weeks ago and they bring it up again, that’s a great sign. It means they care enough to remember things about you, and they’re actually listening and paying attention when you talk.^{[10]
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- They might also grab you your favorite snack or cook you your favorite meal for dinner after you mention it once or twice.

11

You crack jokes about your boyfriend with his parents.

It’s fun to bond while poking fun at a loved one. If you and his parents can make little jokes about his mannerisms or his quirky hobbies, it means they feel comfortable around you.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} Obviously, you shouldn't join in if they’re actually insulting your boyfriend, but the harmless jokes are fair game.^{[12]
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- For instance, your boyfriend’s parents might say, “Does he ever clean up after himself? He was such a messy kid, I was always worried for his future spouse!”
- You could respond by saying, “He hasn’t cleaned anything yet, but we’re working on it!”

12

His parents ask for your opinion.

It can be something as small as the restaurant you want to go to. If his parents make an effort to ask for your opinion about something, it means they care about what you think, which is a great sign. It shows they value your opinion as a member of the family, just like they value your boyfriend.^{[13]
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- If his parents don’t ask for your opinion, they might just feel a little shy or awkward about it. Give it some time, and they might just come around.

13

His parents seem comfortable around you.

When you come over, they’re warm and friendly toward you.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.} If they don’t like you, they might act a bit cold or distant. However, if you go over and they smile a lot or give you a big hug, that’s a great sign. It means they’re genuinely happy to see you, and they’re not just putting on a show.^{[15]
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- People also sometimes act cold or distant if they don’t know you very well. If you’ve only met his parents a couple of times, they might just need to warm up to you.^{[16]
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  Expert Source
  
  Shana Tibi
  Certified Professional Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}

14

His parents talk about your future together.

They might ask when you’re moving in together or getting married. While it can feel a little overwhelming to talk about the future, it’s also a sign that they see you and your boyfriend staying together for a long time. Try to be honest, and let his parents know if you plan on making any life decisions together soon.^{[17]
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- If your boyfriend’s parents ever pressure you to make a life decision, you can ask your boyfriend to gently steer them away from the topic.

15

His parents text or call you.

If they need to get ahold of you two, they might reach out to you. It could be something as small as making dinner plans, or it could be as big as a family vacation. Whatever it is, if your boyfriend’s parents call or text you instead of him, it’s a great sign.^{[18]
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- You can get the ball rolling by asking your boyfriend for his parents’ numbers and texting them first.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you know if your boyfriend's mom hates you?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Check out her body language! Typically, if you feel comfortable, she'll also feel comfortable—it's like a mirror. If you're feeling uncomfortable and awkward, you might be picking up uncomfortable vibes from her as well.