How to Impress a Guy

Co-authored by Joshua Pompey and Christopher M. Osborne, PhD

Last Updated: March 6, 2023 References

If you really want to impress a guy, then the worst thing you can do is try too hard! Instead, focus on being yourself, embracing what makes you special, and being a fun and clever conversational partner. Look and listen for common interests, and use these to build a connection. That way, a good first impression might turn into something more!

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Being Yourself

1
Show him your natural charm and charisma. You may think of a truly charismatic person as being able to walk into a room and charm everyone in it, talking easily to people of all backgrounds and ages and putting them at ease. Even if you aren’t overflowing with this type of charisma, embrace the charismatic charm you do have and let it show in your dealings with others. Putting others at ease will also put the guy you’re interested in at ease!^{[1]
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- When you talk to people, use their names, make good eye contact, listen closely, smile, and keep a positive attitude. Make other people feel good about themselves—that’s charisma!
- Don’t force the issue and end up being loud and dramatic instead of charismatic. Each of us has a unique kind of natural charisma—use yours!
2
Develop your wit so you can keep up a lively banter with any guy. Wit means being able to look at the world in an original way, being funny and creative at the same time, and being able to keep up a flow of intelligent and sharp conversation. Being witty also means you can wow any guy with your word play, insights, and quick reactions. While some people are more naturally witty than others, you can enhance your own wit by working at it.^{[2]
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- Read widely. Learn about current affairs, history, politics, and similar subjects that are natural targets for witty banter. Also read collections of witticisms from famously witty people, like Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker, for inspiration—but don’t copy them!
- Practice being witty with your friends. When someone says something funny, work on responding with a witty comment instead of just laughing.
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3
Act, look, and—most importantly—feel confident. While overconfidence and false bravado can be turn-offs, true confidence attracts others. When you’re confident you have a natural ease that other people find very appealing. If you really want to impress a guy, then, work on being confident in who you are, what you do, and where you're going.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Look and act confident by standing, sitting, or walking tall with your head high, your shoulders back, and your eyes looking straight ahead, not at the ground. Looking and acting confident can help you feel more confident!
- Feeling confident may not come easy to you, and that's okay. Start by making a goal of being happier and more pleased with who you are. Write down a daily list of your goals and achievements if you wish. Easy steps like these can help you feel more confident around others.
4
Embrace your originality instead of trying to hide it. Stand out from the pack! Don't be afraid to be original or different, whether that means dyeing your hair pink, dancing without a care, or expressing your artistic talents. Being yourself makes an impression, and not being like everyone else makes you intriguing—and worth getting to know.^{[4]
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- Learn to love your quirks, instead of worrying whether they’re a little dorky or retro. If you love drawing comic strips, reading science fiction, or dancing the polka, then good for you!
- Don't be afraid to pursue, or even just mention, the things that really make you happy, even if you don't think they appeal to guys. Your originality makes you interesting!
- That said, don’t fabricate originality just for the sake of being different—that will make it look like you're trying too hard.
5
Show your independence instead of seeming needy or clingy. The typical guy isn’t looking for someone who wants their life to revolve around his—instead, he wants someone who is happy being on their own and hanging out with him. Being independent means being comfortable pursuing your own interests by yourself and generally having some "me time." It also means not always conforming or doing whatever everyone else is doing just because that's what's cool right now.^{[5]
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- Being an independent person also means being an independent thinker. Work on acting and thinking on your own. Pursue your passions and don’t let others tell you what you should think or believe—figure things out for yourself!
6
Pursue interests that are both enjoyable and beneficial to you. If you want to impress a guy, it never hurts to work on becoming a more interesting, well-rounded person. Identify and pursue interests that are beneficial to your mind, body, or both—things like yoga, painting, singing, ballet, creative writing, social activism, or whatever else gives you a spark. If you work hard to achieve your goals while pursuing a variety of interests, any guy will be impressed by your talent and dedication.^{[6]
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- If you're not really sure where your interests lie, it's never too late to find—and follow—your passion. Finding something you really care about will make you a more interesting, dynamic person.
7
Care more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. You can’t control what others think, and that includes being able to “make” a guy be impressed by you. In truth, the best way to impress a guy is to be happy with who you are. Focus on being kind and courteous to people without obsessing over how you can please everyone or avoid having them say anything negative about you.
- Don't spend all of your time trying to please your friends or enemies, or any guy will see that you're not being true to yourself.
- Don't let other people get you down. If people criticize you unfairly, don't listen to them. Never try to change who you are for the benefit of others.
8
Have a blast with your friends, and let the guy you like see it! If you really want to impress a guy, then he has to see that you're just fine without him. Any guy worth having isn’t looking for someone who is desperate for his attention. Instead, let him see you hanging out with your friends, having a great time, and not worrying whether this guy or that comes along. Play hard to get—at least a little!^{[7]
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- When you're with your friends, work on living in the moment and having a great time instead of wondering who will walk up to you.
- If you like to be more low-key and chill with 1 or 2 friends, or just hang out yourself sometimes, that’s fine too. Be happy being you!
- You don't have to ignore guys who approach you or notice you when you're with your friends, but don’t look desperate for male attention.
9
Accept your imperfections and learn to laugh at yourself. Any guy worth pursuing will be impressed if you show you don’t take yourself too seriously. Let him see that you are comfortable in your own skin, accept that you’re not perfect, and can take a bit of good-natured ribbing from your friends. Being able to laugh at yourself makes you more self-aware and confident—if you don't think you have any flaws or think you should be taken seriously at all times, then you won't be much fun to hang out with!^{[8]
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- This doesn't mean you should let others make cruel jokes at your expense—stand up for yourself and call others out if necessary.
- If you know how to laugh at yourself, you'll also be comfortable gently teasing a guy and being teased, which is a great flirtation strategy.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Making Good Conversation

1
Use positive body language that says you’re ready to talk and have a good time. The first thing you should do is smile, to show the guy that you're disarming and ready to have fun. It’s also important to make good eye contact (without staring), turn your body towards him, and keep your arms at your sides (or use them to gesture) instead of crossing them over your chest. Let him know that he has your attention!^{[9]
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- How flirtatious do you want to get with your body language? That’s up to you! But focus first on being open, approachable, and naturally yourself.
2
Show that you’re interested in him without seeming obsessed with him. Let the guy you want to impress know that you care about who he is as a person. When you start talking to him, chat about the things he likes to do, what he's interested in, and just generally the things that intrigue him. This doesn't mean you should interview him or ask him too many questions, but it does mean that you should be attuned to the things he wants and cares about.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Let him open up little by little, as you reveal information about yourself too. Don't bombard him with personal questions.
- Keep it light. Ask about his dog, his best friends, or his favorite sports teams—you can get to the serious stuff later!
- The same is true if you're communicating by texting or through social media. Instead of sending message after message, send a handful of messages with light, easy, "getting to know you" questions and comments.
3
Find common ground and shared interests you can talk about. Once you've talked to the guy for a little while, pick out a few things that you have in common, whether it's your loyalty to your families, your love for the beach, or your mutual obsession with travel. It may not feel like much at first, but you can build on even the smallest interests you share to develop a deeper connection.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- Don’t pretend to be interested in something just because he is. That said, it’s okay to expand your interest in something you like a little and he likes a lot. For instance, if you like baseball a bit while he’s really crazy about the local pro team, go ahead and look up some info so you can impress him the next time you talk.
- You can even find common ground by finding something you both dislike or want to laugh at, whether it's the latest social media sensation or your sixth period chemistry teacher.
4
Find ways to fascinate him with your conversational skills. Though giggling and flirting and showing him you like him can get you far, he has to also enjoy talking to you and find you a stimulating and engaging conversationalist. To do this, you have to be able to keep a conversation going, to go beyond the small talk to the depth of the matter without being overwhelming.^{[12]
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- If you've read something fascinating, don't be embarrassed to mention it. He will appreciate your insight.
- If you're communicating digitally instead of in person, make sure each message you send adds to the conversation without being too long or too confusing. You want him to look forward to each message you send!
5
Let him see what makes you special—without showing off. Share the things you really love, that you’re good at, or that make you unique, but don’t brag about how great you are. Talk about your passions with genuine enthusiasm and he’ll see that you're a unique individual worth pursuing.^{[13]
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- For example, don’t go on and on about how you’re the star of the track team. Instead, talk about your passion for the sport and how it fuels your effort and successes. He’ll be inspired to come to a track meet and see for himself how special you are!
- Never feel like you have to lie, exaggerate, or brag about being special. You’re plenty special just by being yourself, so let him see the real you.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can a woman impress a man?

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Look your best, as men are very visual. Take your time to do your hair, wear clothes that are fitting for the occasion, put on makeup if that's what suits you. Show your best self and come in with a fun, easy-going vibe. Men like women that are down to earth and easy-going, and show a lot of open-mindedness and passion for life. Show that you're someone that's fun and easy to hang out with and cool to talk to.
Question

How do you know if a boy likes you?

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Joshua Pompey is a Relationship Expert with over 10 years of helping people navigate the online dating world. Joshua has run his own relationship consulting business since 2009 at a success rate of over 99%. His work has been featured in CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired, and Refinery29 and he has been referred to as the best online dater in the world.

Joshua Pompey

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Pay attention to the signs showing his interest. He may indicate it with some playful flirting and body language, whether it's eye contact, or playful and flirty way of speaking, or light touches here and there.
Question

What are some fashion tips that will impress a guy?

Community Answer

Try to keep it simple, you don't want to overdress. Otherwise he might think you spend too much time on your appearance.

Warnings

Don't try to change who you are in order to impress a guy. If he doesn’t like you the way you are, then look for a different—and better—guy to impress!

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