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This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
There are 28 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 205,254 times.
She’s got eyes that sparkle like diamonds, a voice that’s sweeter than warm honey, and a smile that lights up the room. There’s only one problem—she doesn’t know you exist. Time to change that. Getting a good-looking girl to notice you isn’t as hard as it might seem. You just need to put the best version of yourself on display and let her see for herself what’s so great about you.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 3:
Catching Her Eye
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1Smile at her to signal that you’re friendly and approachable. Smiling is your face’s way of advertising that you’re a likable person. The next time you cross paths with your crush, flash her a smile so warm she’ll have to open a window. If she shoots you one back, you’ll know you’re on the right track.[1]
- In case you need more convincing, scientific studies suggest that people tend to be more attractive when they smile.[2]
- A dazzling smile can be a great icebreaker, but try not to force it. It will be obvious to her and exhausting for you.
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2Draw her in with flirtatious eye contact. Ditch the corny pick-up lines and let your eyes do the talking. Whether you’re right in front of her or all the way across a crowded room, make an effort to meet her gaze and hold it for an extended moment. In that moment, you have an opportunity to make a deep connection without ever saying a word.[3]
- Remember, it’s rude to stare. Let your pupils dance just long enough for her to feel the magic, then break the spell and leave her longing for your next glance.
- Watching for her to initiate eye contact with you can also give you a clue that she’s buying what you’re selling.[4]
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3Wear clothes that accentuate your best features. Don’t just throw on the same t-shirt and ratty jeans combo every morning and call it a day. Take the time to piece together outfits that complement your frame and convey a sense of style, and don’t be afraid to experiment with new looks. You never know what a given item or ensemble might do for you, or what kind of duds she prefers.[5]
- Pick out clothes that say something about what you like or how you see yourself. What you wear is not only a way of catching her eye, but also a means of self-expression.
- Like it or not, the way you dress says a lot about you. In fact, clothing is among the first things that most women notice. If you always look like you picked your outfit of the day out of the hamper at random, she may assume that you’re just as sloppy in other ways.[6]
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4Get in shape. Start exercising regularly to improve your physique. You might crank out some cardio to trim down a couple pounds, or hit the weights to add a little more muscle to your frame. Either way, you’re bound to start turning heads—specifically hers.[7]
- For best results, be sure to accompany your new workout regimen with a balanced diet, some health-promoting supplements, and lots of quality sleep.[8]
- Working out won’t just make you look better. It will build your confidence, give you extra energy, and help you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
Tip: Going to the gym isn’t the only way to get fit. You could play your favorite sport, ride your bike, take up hiking, swim laps in the community pool, or even just go for a long walk a few times a week.
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5Practice good basic hygiene. First impressions count for a lot, especially if you’ve never even spoken to your crush. Make sure you look presentable whenever you know there’s a chance you might see her. Take a shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, and apply deodorant. You’ll be glad you did once you get close.[9]
- If you’re a guy, it’s also a good idea to keep your nails clipped and your facial hair neat and well-groomed.
- A spritz of cologne or perfume can make you more pleasant to be around. Just be careful not to overdo it! 1-2 light sprays around your wrists, neck, chest, or underarms should be more than enough to lend you the subtle allure you're looking for.[10]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:
Showcasing an Irresistible Personality
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1Project confidence through assertive body language. Stand up straight, hold your head high, and walk with purpose. When dealing with others, look them in the eye and speak in a loud, clear tone of voice. If you want the girl of your dreams to notice you, you have to be able to stand out in any room you’re in rather than simply disappearing in it.[11]
- If you seem self-assured, she’ll be more likely to think that you’ve got something going for you, which can make her stop and take note.[12]
- There’s a big difference between “confident” and “cocky.” While a proud demeanor says that you know your worth, an arrogant one says that you only care about yourself, which is a major turn-off.[13]
Tip: Confidence has universal appeal, so learn to embody it even if you’re not feeling it. Research indicates that there may be some truth to that old saying, “Fake it ‘til you make it” where confidence is concerned.[14]
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2Be nice. Nobody likes a jerk. But the opposite is also true—everyone likes someone who’s nice. And one of the nicest things you can do is treat other people with respect and consideration.[15] This goes for everyone, not just girls you hope to impress.[16]
- Giving off friendly vibes is especially important if you haven’t been formally introduced to your crush yet but she often sees you interacting with other people.
- Having a sense of humor is definitely an asset, but try not to be cutting or make too many jokes at other people’s expense. It could come across as bullying.[17]
- The advice, "Be nice" applies to yourself, too. While self-deprecating humor can be disarming and show that you don't take yourself too seriously, it could be taken as a sign of low self-esteem if used too often.[18]
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3Drop hints about your most interesting traits or accomplishments. Wear an old player jersey with your name proudly printed on it, bring up a thrilling adventure that you went on recently, or give her a glimpse of a unique talent or ability. Low-key boasts like these can serve as tantalizing clues to your character, making her eager to find out more about you.[19]
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4Wind her up with some playful teasing. Every now and then while talking to your crush, razz her in a good-natured way. Though it may seem counterintuitive, many girls enjoy lighthearted teasing. The occasional jab or witty retort will keep her on her toes and make the energy between you more electric and intimate.[22]
- To give her a hard time without rubbing her the wrong way, accuse her of hitting on you, gently mock the way she pronounces certain words, or come back with something like, "That's okay, nobody's right 100% of the time" when she express an opinion you disagree with.
- Avoid teasing her about potentially sensitive subjects, such as her appearance, her level of intelligence, her family or friends, or the things she’s passionate about. It’s better to stick with more general barbs about things she says or does.[23]
- Teasing someone is not the same thing as insulting or picking on them. Watch her closely to gauge her reaction and make sure you’re not taking things too far. If her mood suddenly changes or she becomes visibly upset, apologize immediately for crossing the line.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:
Winning Her Attention
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1Find excuses to hang around her. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are if you’re never actually in the same place as your crush (after all, she can’t notice you if you’re not there). Make your presence known, but be subtle about it. If she’s in one of your classes, choose a seat near her to put yourself in her line of sight. If you know where she works, pop in every now and then, or start frequenting the place next door.[24]
- If one of your friends is also friends with her, you might also try angling to get yourself invited to the next group hang.
- Avoid being too obvious about the fact that you’re trying to get closer to her. She may find it flattering, but there’s a better chance that she’ll find it creepy. [25]
- An offhand remark like, "I didn't know you came here to study. Care to make it a group sesh?" will likely be received much better than, "I was hoping I'd find you here. Do you want to hang out?"
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2Surround yourself with friends. Make it a point for your crush to see you having a great time yucking it up with your BFFs. When you’ve always got an entourage with you, it sends the message that you’re a fun person to be around. If other people want to be in your presence so bad, your crush may start to wonder what she’s missing.[26]
- Ask your close friends to play wingman (or wingwoman) for you when you’re in a situation where you might run into your crush. That way, they’ll be there to talk you up, laugh at your jokes, and make you look good in general.
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3Introduce her to your pet. If you've got a dog, cat, bird, guinea pig, iguana, or goldfish at home, create an opportunity to let her see you with it. Broadcasting the fact that you're a caring pet owner will show her that you’re responsible, affectionate, and not afraid of commitment. This is a surefire way to score yourself some bonus points.[27]
- Pets can also serve as excellent conversation starters, since almost everyone loves making new furry friends.
- If you're currently not close enough to see each other outside of school or work, or you don't have a good excuse to bring your pet around, offer to show her some pictures of your animal companion instead.
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4Pay her a no-strings-attached compliment. When an opening presents itself, tell your crush something you like about her.[28] Then, smile and walk away (or stop contributing to her comments section, if you’re on social media). Doing so will make her feel like a million bucks while also demonstrating that you’re not just saying nice things in order to get something in return.[29]
- It can be scary to summon the courage to compliment a girl you like, but it’s guaranteed to get positive feelings flowing both ways. Fortune favors the bold!
Tip: You don’t have to focus exclusively on her looks. You could also tell her that she’s funny, that you like her sense of style, that she’s good at something, or that she’s got a mesmerizing aura.[30]
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5Use social media to make her aware of your existence. Send her a friend request on Facebook, or start following her on Instagram or Twitter. This can be a good way to get on her radar if you know of one another but haven’t officially met. It also gives you an in for the occasional casual chat, which could lead to hanging out in-person.[31]
- Make sure your default photo, profile, and online activity cast you in a flattering light. Just as you would in real life, consider how the image you present to people might influence their perceptions of you.
- Don’t make the mistake of commenting on all of her posts or liking each and every one of her entire backlog of pics. Coming on too strong could backfire and end up scaring her off.[32]
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do you get a good-looking girl to like you?
Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
Relationship CoachThat old cliche "be yourself" is a cliche for a reason. It's rare for people to like somebody who is not authentic. Plus, you want her to like you for you. Show her who who you really are. If she ends up liking you, then she really likes the essence of you. If she doesn't, then you're not a good match for each other. -
QuestionHow do I hint that I like her?Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
Relationship CoachBe kind to her and try complimenting her on what you notice and like about her. Aside from that, it's worth a try to be courageous and tell her. -
QuestionHow do you tell a girl why you like her?Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSWKelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. Kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. She is the author of “Professor Kelli’s Guide to Finding a Husband” and the award-winning and best-selling book “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and is a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida.
Relationship CoachTell her specific things that you've noticed about her, like her passion when she is working on something. People like to hear compliments that make them feel seen. Be open and direct, and consider highlighting your similar interests and what makes you two compatable.
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Warnings
- Be patient. Getting noticed in the way you want is all about making the right moves at the right time. There’s no point in clamoring for her attention in the first place if you’re going to do it by being pushy, needy, or self-absorbed.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References
- ↑ https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/attractive-smile-tips/
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/the-psychological-study-of-smiling
- ↑ https://theartofcharm.com/art-of-dating/attract-women-without-talking/
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/know-someone-attracted/
- ↑ https://maleambition.com/how-to-dress-to-impress-a-girl/
- ↑ https://www.realmenrealstyle.com/first-things-women-notice/
- ↑ https://www.active.com/fitness/articles/5-simple-tips-for-fitness-success
- ↑ https://www.shape.com/fitness/tips/sleep-and-exercise-connection-can-change-your-life-and-your-workouts
- ↑ https://www.primermagazine.com/2011/learn/15-hygiene-habits-that-you-shouldnt-miss-in-your-daily-routine
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/fashion/fashiontip_300/355_fashion_advice.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201808/11-ways-project-confidence-and-be-taken-seriously
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.streetdirectory.com/etoday/confidence-is-attractive-but-arrogance-is-repulsive-in-dating-wulwpw.html
- ↑ https://zen.collegevine.com/fake-till-make-acting-confident-can-help-become-confident/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/13-science-backed-ways-to-appear-more-attractive-2016-8
- ↑ https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/common-challenges/bullying/difference-between-teasing-and-bullying
- ↑ https://nyunews.com/opinion/2019/04/19/self-deprecating-humor-confidence
- ↑ https://trippadvice.com/10-ways-to-be-more-interesting-to-women/
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/fitting-in-is-overrated-embrace-uniquness-find-meaning/
- ↑ https://thesocialman.com/how-to-tease-a-girl/
- ↑ https://www.girlschase.com/content/teasing-girl-right-way
- ↑ https://www.readunwritten.com/2014/04/08/the-psychology-of-attraction-7-easy-ways-to-win-over-your-crush/
- ↑ https://www.insider.com/signs-coming-on-too-strong-2018-8
- ↑ https://www.businessinsider.com/13-science-backed-ways-to-appear-more-attractive-2016-8
- ↑ https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-12-23/single-men-owning-a-dog-attracts-women-study/7051024
- ↑ Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Psychotherapist. Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.
- ↑ https://get-a-wingman.com/how-to-compliment-a-woman-and-win-her-attention/
- ↑ https://www.theodysseyonline.com/22-compliments-not-based-physical-appearance
- ↑ https://www.ties.com/blog/social-media-flirting
- ↑ https://www.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/flirting-mistakes-guys-make-on-social-media.html
About This Article
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Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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